“Colt?”
He shoved aside his sour thoughts and focused his attention on Colby. “Yeah?”
“Carter told me to tell you that you could stay at his and Macie’s place durin’ calvin’ so you don’t have to drive so far.”
Would it be petty to point out neither Colby nor Cord offered up their places for him to crash?
Yes.
Jesus. He was stuck in “feel sorry for me mode” tonight. It’d be best to smile and suck it up, rather than point out neither of them had to give up their comfy beds for a month. Every year.
“If you don’t wanna do that, I’m sure Cam’ll let you bunk with him for the duration.”
Cam wouldn’t look him in the eye.
And right then, Colt had enough. “I appreciate it, but it ain’t gonna be necessary.”
Cord frowned. “That’s a long damn drive. Especially with the weather bein’ shitty that time of year.”
“I’m sure you guys’ll handle the weather and the calvin’ just fine without me.”
Shocked silence. Then, Colby said, “Without you? What do you mean?”
“I ain’t gonna be here.”
“Where you gonna be?”
“I’ll be in Hawaii.”
His dad demanded, “For how long?”
“For a month.”
“What are you doin’ over there for a month?”
“Sittin’ on the beach, whale watchin’, surfing. Maybe I’ll learn to scuba dive. Or golf. Whatever people do when they’re on vacation.”
“Very f**kin’ funny,” Cord said.
“Might be if I was kiddin’.”
They all stared at him.
“You can’t just schedule a damn vacation durin’ the most important time of the year in the cattle business.”
Colt shrugged. Maybe it was childish, but he felt the need to push them. See if anyone would voice the questions and contempt he saw in their eyes. If he’d ever truly be forgiven or if they were waiting for the other boot to drop. Or for him to revert to his formerly destructive behavior.
Cam scratched at the label on his beer bottle.
Colby spoke first. “That’s just great, Colt. Once again you’ll be off f**kin’ around while the rest of us are bustin’ our asses.”
“Man, I thought you’d changed,” Cord said. “But we’re back to the same old bullshit.”
There it was. The word that damned him either way—change.
If he did change, it was wrong. If he didn’t change, it was wrong.
“Why’s it such a big deal for you to stay with Cam or at Carter’s? It ain’t like you’ve got a family to go home to every night.”
A beer bottle flew and crashed into the side of the barn, shattering the illusion of stillness.
All eyes zoomed to Cam.
“I’m so sick and tired of the ‘holier than thou’ attitude in this family. So Colt screwed up. Every one of us has screwed up at one time or another. How long are you gonna make him pay for it?
Jesus, he hit the skids over four years ago. He’s been on the straight and narrow for the last three. During which time, he’s been busting his ass on this ranch, despite having to listen to you berate him and complain about him, or ignore him, or belittle him. None of you have ever been lily white and you’ve got no business judging him.”
“You weren’t here, Cam.”
Cam whirled on Colby. “Guess what? Neither were you! You were off rodeoin’ and playin’ cowboy while Colt was here, actually being a goddamn cowboy, day in, day out, for twelve f**kin’ years.
Don’t forget you couldn’t do shit for months while you recovered from your rodeo injury—months in which, once again, Colt had to do not only his work, but your work.”
Holy shit. Colt had never seen Cam so furious.
But Cam wasn’t finished. He turned his ire on Cord. “Didja forget you got pissed off at Dad and left for a coupla years? Who picked up the slack then? It sure as f**k wasn’t Colby the rodeo king, or Carter the college boy, or Keely the baby girl or me.”
Without moving his angry gaze from Cord, Cam pointed at Colt. “It was him. But you forgot that little factoid, didn’t you? And isn’t it convenient that you all expect Colt to stick around, year in, year out, and do every shit job you don’t want to, because he doesn’t have a…family?” Cam faced Colby again. “That ‘you don’t have a family’ comment is the single shittiest thing I’ve ever heard anyone say. Ever. You’re supposed to be his family. So are you.” He pointed to Cord. “And you,” he said to Carson. “And me. But when Colt really needed his family to support him and help him? Were any of you there? No. The only person who gave a shit about him…was Kade.”
“That’s enough,” Carson said.
“How could you all rally around me, offering me support, when you didn’t do the same thing for Colt? When he was hurting just as bad? When he’s the one who’s always deserved it way more than I ever did. Because he had no choice but to stick around and live this life, when I had the luxury of leaving it behind.”
Colt’s eyes burned. Leave it to the one-legged man to make a stand for him when no one else in his family ever did.
Ugly, thick silence lingered.
“I’m not surprised you’ve got nothin’ to say. You oughta be hanging your heads in shame. I’m outta here.” Fabric snapped as Cam jerked his coat off the fence. He limped to his truck. After he opened the door he looked at Colt. “Sorry, bro, I know you didn’t ask for this, but it needed to be said. It needed to come from someone with an outsider’s perspective.”
“You’re not an outsider, Cameron. You might’ve been gone for a few years, but you’ve always been part of this family.”
All eyes turned to Carolyn McKay. No one had heard her come out onto the porch.
Cam shook his head. “Thanks for the invite to supper, Ma, but I’ve lost my appetite.”
She twisted a dishtowel in her hands, tears streaming down her face as she watched Cam drive away.
Great, his mother would probably blame him too.
Colt didn’t make eye contact with anyone as he climbed in his pickup and started the long, lonely drive home.
Chapter Eight
He’d hit the outskirts of Sundance, when his cell phone vibrated. He had half a mind to let it go to voice mail. Another confrontation today would do him in but he checked the caller ID