There were several cars waiting for us. Sebastian guided me into one and followed me into the back seat, and in a matter of seconds we were turning the corner and pulling out into the night-time traffic.
Safety.
With every meter we put between us and the house, the tension in my muscles eased just a little more. I still felt like I might break down again at any moment, but at least the sense of sheer terror was subsiding. Now, I just felt exhausted, vulnerable, and utterly utterly confused.
Sebastian seemed to be almost ignoring me now. He was staring out the window, the initial relief on his face gone, replaced by a kind of heavy thoughtfulness. For my part, I didn't know what I was supposed to be doing. I was so ill-equipped to deal with the situation. Part of me just wanted to throw myself back into the comfort of his embrace, but now that we were making our escape, the questions began to come again, piling up in my head almost faster than I could process them.
"Where are we going?" I asked, figuring that was as good a starting spot as any.
He looked over at me. "Somewhere safe."
"Safe from who?"
There was uncertainty in his eyes, that innate defensiveness he'd spent a lifetime fostering. "Can we not do this now, Sophia? You've just been through one hell of an ordeal."
"Exactly, and now I want to understand what happened. So who the hell were those guys?"
His jaw worked wordlessly for a few seconds, but eventually he let out a small sigh. "Honestly, I'm not sure."
"Seriously? No idea at all?"
He shook his head wearily. "We're working on it."
"Then how the hell did you find me?"
He hesitated. I could see what looked like guilt on his face. "After I sent you that letter... I know this looks bad, but I was worried about you. So," he drew a deep breath, "I left someone watching your place. It was just a precaution, but thank God I did. They saw the whole thing go down."
My eyes widened. "You mean you expected this?"
"No. No! Of course not." He ran a hand through his hair. He looked utterly distraught. "Like I said, it was a 'just in case' measure, that's all. Some of the people we deal with...well, there's not much they're not capable of, and things are a little unstable at the moment. I just wanted you to be safe."
"So why didn't your guy intervene?"
"There were three men that took you, and they were good - professional. He didn't think he could stop them by himself, so he called it in and followed, instead."
"I see." I couldn't say I wasn't thankful he'd had someone there, but it was a little like handing someone a fire extinguisher after you'd set their place alight. Also, it drew my mind to the elephant in the room. Last time I'd gotten too curious, Sebastian had offered me nothing but heartbreak, but this was different. I was no longer merely a spectator. My life had been put in jeopardy. That entitled me to know a few things.
"How about we cut to the chase then. You may not know who they were, but you sure as hell know who you are. What kind of man are you, Sebastian? And what the hell is all this?"
He gave a desperate little shake of his head, his eyes darting towards the unnamed guard sitting in the driver's seat. "You know I can't answer that."
"So, what, I have to go along with all this without any idea what's happening to me?"
His brow furrowed. "I'm sorry."
I felt a surge of anger and I latched onto it. I may not have been able to take out my frustration on my captors, but I sure as hell could lash out at Sebastian. "Sorry? You're sorry? Are you for real? I just got kidnapped! Do you understand that? Sorry doesn't really cut it. Maybe in whatever secret, corporate world you guys play in that's normal, but in regular person land, that's kind of a big fucking deal."
He hung his head. "I know."
"At least give me something. What about a motive? I mean, what would anyone want with me? I have no idea about whatever it is you're into. As you just illustrated, that knowledge is clearly not for the likes of me."
His lips tightened. "I don't know exactly. We're trying to work that out."
I rolled my eyes. "Awesome. You don't know who they are, or what they want. Is there anything you do know?"
His expression hardened. "I know that I'm not going to let it happen again."
I gave a sour little laugh. "Forgive me if that doesn't fill me with confidence."
"What else do you want, Sophia? I'm sorry beyond words that this happened, and I'm going to do everything I can to make it right."
Tears stung the back of my eyes but I forced them away. "How? How can you possibly make this right? There are people after me, Sebastian, and I'm guessing they're not going to stop just because you foiled them once. My life is officially in tatters and I don't even know why."
His mouth opened and closed but no words came out.
"You know, I lost my job," I said, after a few seconds of silence. My voice sounded strangely wooden, now.
For a moment, confusion flooded his face. "What? When?"
"A few days after I went to your office. Jennifer finally made her move." Surprisingly, I couldn't even muster much anger at her. My being fired already felt hazy, like a distant memory. "When it happened, it felt like the end of the world. All I could think about was the fact that I had to start from scratch. Now, I don't even know if I'm going to get that opportunity."
He looked like he'd been struck. "I promise that you will, Sophia. I'm going to get you through this. You'll get your life back."
"When? When will I be able to go back home and start rebuilding? When can I see my family? My friends?"
He glanced away and gave a little shake of his head. "I don't know, yet."
"That's what I thought. God, it seems like being in a relationship with you should come with an advance warning: may involve significant peril." Realisation slammed into me, and I rocked back in my seat. "Oh my God. Sebastian. The thing with Liv... was that like this?" I didn't know how it hadn't occurred to me earlier. The coincidence was impossible to ignore.
He closed his eyes and drew several long breaths, his fingers clenching into a fist by his face. There was something in that gesture that was stronger than mere anger, a kind of deep seated mental agony. "I don't know, exactly," he said, after a few moments. He spoke slowly, his tone soft and hollow. "We never arrested anyone. As far as we know, there was no kidnapping. It all happened in the house. Not a day goes by where I don't wonder about it, whether it was because of me." His face twisted in pain. I could hear him sucking back tears. "But this here, what happened to you, this is definitely my fault, and I know it's probably little comfort to you, but I'll never forgive myself for putting you in harm's way."