Ada glared daggers at me. “Fuck you too. Are you going to tell her or not?”
“I’m crazy about that girl,” I said evenly.
She threw her hands up. “Well that’s nice, that you’re crazy about her! If you’re so crazy about her, why not ask her to come to the hospital right now? Do you realize the gossip I’m putting up with because I’m here with you? People think you f**king knocked me up, Hunter. You might not give a shit about what people say with your bad boy rebel act, but I do.”
I took several deep breaths and managed to calm myself down. “I’m sorry, Ada. I didn’t know people were saying all that stuff. Thanks for coming and checking on me, I appreciate it, but I told you before that you didn’t have to come see me every day. Gary’s been stopping by to check on me. I’ll be fine.”
Ada crossed her arms. “If that girl really cares about you, how come she hasn’t called you yet?”
It was strange, but I figured it was a good thing since I didn’t have to explain being in the hospital. “I don’t know. Look, she’s got plenty of problems of her own.”
Ada continued like I hadn’t said anything. “I mean, a few texts, that’s it? Come on, you’ve been gone for almost a week now, what kind of self-absorbed bitch ju—”
“Ada . . . ” I clenched my fists, the IV a sharp pain in my forearm. Before I could say something I’d regret, my phone buzzed from the table next to me. Lorrie was calling me.
I froze, watching it vibrate, my insides churning. What would I say if I picked up? Hi Lorrie, in case you didn’t have enough to worry about, let me tell you about my chronic and potentially terminal illness. Fuck that.
I looked up to see Ada staring at me. “Hunter!” she shrieked. “What the f**k is the matter with you? Why won’t you tell her?”
Fucking Ada, everything was always cut and dry for her. Why didn’t she understand that it just wasn’t that simple.
The moment I first saw Lorrie’s face—after fishing her out of that lake—I knew there was something about her. It wasn’t the shock on her expression from a near-death experience or even the way her body shivered from the freezing cold. It wasn’t anything on the outside. It was that look in her eyes that pierced me to my damn core. I didn’t know anything about her, but I instantly recognized that look from seeing it every day in the mirror. She was beautiful. And broken.
Even if she didn’t tell me her whole story, she let her walls down for me. I understood her need to protect herself and never pried. I just needed to be there for her. When that ass**le at the Tau Beta Pi party said that shit about her parents, he was f**king lucky that Lorrie stopped me. I don’t know what I would’ve done.
No. Lorrie didn’t need my sob story and I didn’t need her to pity me. She needed me to be strong for her, to wipe away her tears, to hold her shuddering body tightly against mine. Lorrie needed me to take away her pain, not add to it.
I needed her too. Before she came along I was a f**king mess. Maybe she thought I was her savior when I pulled her out of that lake, but I knew the real score. If I hadn’t found her, I’d be so lost right now. I would’ve lost myself in the drinking, brawling, and groupies. Lorrie never let me get away with that bullshit. She saw right through me, but she was never pushy like Ada. Lorrie knew how hard it was to try to make it through each day. She made me feel alive again, like there was still something to look forward to, like I wasn’t just waiting for the MS to knock me out.
We were so happy during those days we were holed up in my apartment. It was like a dream that I never wanted to end. Why couldn’t we have that for just a little while longer? Why did things have to change?
“If you’re not going to tell her then I will.” Ada picked up the phone with her hand and my chest tightened. A white hot ball of fury clenched tighter and tighter in my core. If Lorrie found out about my MS, things would never be the same.
“Don’t you f**king dare Ada!” I gripped the side of my hospital bed, knowing that once she set her mind to something, it was hard to stop her.
“What’s wrong with you Hunter? Someone needs to tell her!” Ada stared at me with accusing eyes.
“No! It’ll change everything!” I pounded the mattress pad with a fist, panic coursing through my veins.
“I’m going to tell her, you can’t stop me Hunter!” She started fiddling with the buttons on the phone and my panic shifted to horror.
“NO! SHE CAN’T SEE ME LIKE THIS!” I roared, reaching for my phone and violently snatching it from her hands.
Ada backed away as if I’d slapped her, eyes wide and frightened. I gazed at her harshly, sucking in deep shuddering breaths. “Please Ada. She can’t see me like this . . . not like this . . .” I breathed. This was my pain, mine alone to struggle with. I couldn’t share it with Lorrie yet. I blinked a few times, my eyes stinging with shame and took a deep breath to calm myself.
Lorrie wasn’t ready. No, I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t ready for things to change just yet.
Ada shook her head slowly, her expression shifting from shock to disgust. “Both of you are sick. You deserve each other.”
She took a seat in the corner, not saying another word until the doctor came in to discharge me. She put on a fake smile, but I could tell she was still fuming as we walked out of the hospital via the health center entrance on campus. I knew this was far from over.
A few hours ago
I wanted to vomit as I looked at Lorrie’s shaky handwriting on the note she left me. I had read it again and again, hoping the words would change, but they never did.
Ada was out of control when we ran into Lorrie outside the health center. I wanted to talk to Lorrie, try to fix things to how they were, but Ada was gonna tell her about me and things would never be the same again.
“Give me something, Hunter. Don’t leave me with just this.” I heard Lorrie desperately call after me. I wanted to talk to Lorrie in private. But I had to stop Ada first. I couldn’t let Ada tell Lorrie. Even if she didn’t tell Lorrie that day, she would tell Lorrie some other time and it’d ruin everything. So, like an ass**le, I ran after Ada, instead of facing Lorrie.
After I convinced Ada to calm down, and she promised me she wouldn’t talk to Lorrie, I went straight to Lorrie’s room, hoping she’d be able to forgive me. She wasn’t there and neither was Daniela. A couple of girls were hanging around in the suite and told me that they hadn’t seen Lorrie in a while.