It was a challenge, a last attempt to get me to tell him not to go, not to start a war, to stay and be safe.
But I was incapable. I was numb. “If that’s what you need to do, then that’s what you need to do.”
He left in a cab. Filip drove me to my new home. Joe had given me keys and a security code, but it was the first time I’d been there. My furniture had been placed in logical locations. The basics had been unpacked for me – my kitchen was organized, my clothes were hanging in my closet, my bed was made. Unopened boxes were stacked up in the living room, the less important items that made up my life. My books. Pictures. The few knickknacks I owned.
I stood at the door and surveyed the apartment, a place with no memories, no emotional attachment. It was as cold as I was, and it was my new home.
So I’d rebuild. Without Reeve. Without Amber.
It’s not the worst thing in the world, I told myself, in a voice that was completely my own. You’ve done it before. You can do it again.
CHAPTER 26
It took two days before I could spend any real time out of bed. Three days before I managed to get dressed. On the fourth day, I forced myself to be productive.
I spent the morning on e-mails and reading a new script from my agent that was, for once, not terrible. Then I began working through the boxes. It was early evening, and I’d finished unpacking almost half of them when Joe stopped by.
“I wanted to make sure you were eating,” he said, holding up two boxes of Chinese take-out.
“I’m more interested in that bottle of wine you have tucked under your arm. But, please, come in.” I gestured toward the dining room and headed to the kitchen for a corkscrew, plates, and wineglasses.
“Sorry, I wasn’t really dressed for company,” I said when I returned, referring to my ensemble of yoga pants and a tank top.
“I don’t know, I think you look pretty cute.”
“Oh. Well.” I tucked a hair behind my ear and studied him as he uncorked the bottle of Riesling. His hair had grown out since I’d met him, and he’d grown a goatee. He had almost ten years on me and wore more than a few scars, but, I had to admit, he was very much an attractive man.
An attractive man who wouldn’t be my type even when – or if – I ever decided I was ready to date again.
“Calm down. I wasn’t hitting on you,” he said, handing me a glass. “I’m just saying you look good.”
“Then I’ll say thank you. And you look good, too.”
We ate together, the first meal I’d really tasted in more than a week. When we finished, he helped me clear the table and load the dishwasher.
“What’s up for you next?” he asked, leaning against the counter.
I finished pouring detergent into the machine and pushed Start before turning to answer. “Production for NextGen starts up again in August. So there’s that.” I remembered what Reeve had said about how I’d been too scared to make any real change happen in my life. He’d been right, of course, but I was determined to change that. Starting with my career. “I’ve got a contract for the season, but if I could book another job before that, it might give me options so I don’t have to sign the next contract.”
“Good,” Joe said encouragingly. “I’d love to actually see you in something.”
“Yeah. So would I.”
I wiped my wet hands on a dish towel then together we walked out to the living room that was a mess from unpacking.
Joe surveyed the scene. “You’re settling in here. I’m surprised.”
“Why? You didn’t think I’d like it here? I think you picked a nice place, actually.” Not that I’d been out of the apartment to explore the neighborhood yet, but from the window it seemed nice.
“I know I picked a nice place,” he said as though his taste would never be in question. “But Reeve asked me what the lease terms were. Wondered how fast you could get out of it if you moved in with him instead. I figured that’s what you’d decided to do.”
“What?” Reeve and I had never once discussed moving in together. “When did he ask that?”
“Last week. He e-mailed me. The same day Amber disappeared, actually.”
I immediately thought about the e-mail Reeve had claimed he’d gotten dressed to send. “Did he message you really early? Like, maybe the middle of the night island time?”
Joe sank onto the arm of my sofa, considering. “Maybe. It was in my in-box when I woke up. I didn’t check when it had been sent and then we got wrapped up in Amber so I didn’t think much about it. Why?”
So, Reeve and I had spent the night together, and after I’d snuck out, he’d had to get up immediately to make arrangements for me to possibly move in with him. It was… sweet, actually. And typical – making serious plans without consulting with me. No wonder he hadn’t wanted to admit to it. In the light of day, he’d probably realized he’d acted impulsively.
In some other universe, maybe there was another Emily Wayborn née Barnes who got to be delighted about a man who’d do that. A man who loved her so much he couldn’t even wait until the sun came up before looking into ways they could be together more permanently.
My chest pinched at the thought, and I had to take a seat in my armchair before answering. “I don’t know. It doesn’t matter, I guess. We’re not together anymore.”
Joe cocked his head, not surprised, but curious. “You still feel he might have had something to do with Amber?”