I felt giddy for no reason other than I was in his arms. It was strange how my feelings for him had changed with Amber’s return, simply because her arrival disproved many of the theories that had hung in my mind. He hadn’t killed her. He hadn’t hurt her in any way other than the ways he’d confessed – if he had, she wouldn’t have returned. Before, he’d been dark and powerful. The extent of his mastery had been unknown. Now, the curtain had been pulled back and behind it I’d found just a man.
There was still a layer of fear where he was concerned, though, mostly because he was so unpredictable. He could be mean, which was, in some ways, what made him so captivating.
And then he could be sweet, which was the most terrifying part about him of all. Because it made me think there could be more to what we had than just satisfying sex. It made me start to dream about the possible, it made me even more comfortable in my submission, it made me trust fully, and I’d learned long ago that was the surest way to a broken heart.
But, oh, how I craved any risk the man offered – including the danger of love.
“I think last night was good for us, Blue Eyes.” He stroked the curve of my jaw with the back of a single finger, and I wondered if he knew how much it felt like fire on my skin – how it kindled my lust, how it ignited my dread.
I swallowed and took a step onto ground that could be quicksand. “I think last night was good for us too.”
Maybe too good.
“I’m having a hard time concentrating on work this morning because I keep thinking about it. I wish I had time in my schedule – I’d spank your ass red to punish you for being such a distraction.”
“Reeve,” I giggled.
“I love it when I make you blush.” He moved his hands to my ass, pulling me closer so I could feel the hard ridge of his erection. “Almost as much as I love it when I make you come.”
My breath quickened. “You’re so charming today. It’s throwing me off.”
“I’m warming you up so that the next part of our conversation will be productive.” The timbre of his voice justified my earlier wariness.
“What a lead-in. Go ahead then.” I braced myself for the worst, a difficult task since I had no idea at all where he was headed.
“When I brought you here, there were certain expectations of you.”
My mind raced back to the list of rules he’d gone over with me on the way to Kaya. Don’t walk around undressed. Don’t miss lunch or dinner. Be available when he wanted. No arguing with him in front of other people. Sleep with him.
So far, I’d broken all of them except the dress code, though the T-shirt I’d worn for an outfit last night on the porch might have come close to breaking that as well.
The rules had honestly slipped my mind. I cleared the rasp from my throat. “Right.”
“You told me you don’t want our relationship to be based on an exchange of gifts for services anymore. Is that still true?”
I’d said that just before Amber had shown up. With the recent events, it was natural that he’d question if my intentions had changed. Logical to wonder if it was still true.
“Very much so,” I answered earnestly.
His lids grew heavy and his pupils dark. “I like that. A lot.” He brought his hands between us and slid his fingers just under my shirt to dance across the top of my navel. While his caress was sensual, it was also without motivation – an absentminded gesture based in the need to simply touch my skin rather than the need to fuck.
“But while I’m happy about this change in our arrangement,” he continued, “I hope you don’t think it releases you from the expectations I’ve outlined.”
“No. Of course not.” A part of me – the stubborn, independent part – pleaded to say fuck you and wash my hands of the man who sought to train me to his liking.
But a greater part of me wanted his rules and regulations, loved them, especially because it wasn’t easy for me to submit to them. Pleasing him wasn’t just satisfying – it was necessary for my own happiness, just as his happiness depended on my obedience.
But I’d been defiant.
A curtain of shame fell over my mood.
He brought a hand to my face, and, grasping my chin firmly, he lifted it so my eyes would meet his. “Don’t do that. We’re fine. That’s why we’re talking.”
“Okay.” And in just that short admonishment, I understood that he was committed to me, that he wanted us to work.
The realization begged to notch my giddiness into full-on exhilaration, but something held my excitement at bay.
Again, Reeve’s fingers stroked my belly. “What is it that’s preventing you from meeting those expectations?”
And there was the something that had overshadowed my joy. “You know what. Amber.” She was the only thing holding me back, the only reason I hadn’t gone to his bed the night before, the only hesitation in taking any step he wanted me to take.
Before she’d returned, we’d been headed toward those things that came “next” in a relationship. I’d already explained to Reeve that our friendship had ended when she’d believed the worst of me – she’d thought I’d stolen her man, and while, instead, that man had raped me and caused the death of the baby I’d carried, I’d vowed to never take a man from her again.
Didn’t he realize that if I committed to him now, I might be breaking that vow?
Then there were his feelings. He’d been devastated when she’d left him. Wasn’t he interested in a second chance with her? I knew I was.