I scooted my knees in to tighten the hold around his cock, and, soon, he pulled my arms back, using them to leverage his weight as he bucked against me. Sounds fell from my mouth, soft rhythmic mewls that echoed his thrusts and spurred him deeper inside of me. I cherished each noise – the slap of balls against my thighs, the sandpapered texture of his voice as it praised and cursed and grunted and groaned.
“You’re so easy to ride,” he commended. “So easy to maneuver. I can bend you so easily, shatter you.”
“You already did,” I sighed, still weary from the orgasms he’d forced upon me.
“Not all the way.” He tugged me back so my back pressed against his chest. Wrapping his hands around to fondle my breasts, he raked his teeth across my collarbone. “I want you destroyed. I want you completely annihilated.”
I didn’t have the energy to disagree, but I felt edgier in this new position, exposed, open for him to play like a musician strumming his instrument.
“Rub your clit,” he instructed. “Rub it like it’s me rubbing you. Firmly. Faster.” An orgasm began to build, and Reeve moaned as I tightened around him. “Just like that. Good.”
He increased his speed, clutching onto my breasts as handholds, and I closed my eyes and let myself just feel and enjoy.
“I love you,” he whispered harshly at my ear, and my breath caught. He’d said it in so many ways, but never directly. Never so forcefully. Never in such a way that I had to take it as a gift rather than a fact, where I had to accept it and languish in it. Every thrust of his cock painted the words inside me. Every rock of his pelvis against mine.
“I love you,” he said again, like a creed. “I love you so thoroughly it feels like you’re in my DNA. Like you must be part of my genetic code because there’s no part of me that isn’t linked to you. My love for you is so consuming on the inside that there’s barely room.”
He moved a hand to my throat and pressed it against my windpipe ever so slightly, slowing the oxygen just enough to make me heady and weak.
Or maybe that was from the sweetness of his talk.
“My love for you is so ferocious, so dominating that I’m possessed by it. It changes who I am. It makes me someone different and yet I’m more who I’ve always believed I am than I ever have been.”
Tears slipped out from under my lids. I’d never been loved like this. My mother hadn’t been capable of coming close in her alcohol-fed state of existence. And Amber – her love had been complex and had conditions. But it was a love I knew and understood. The rules were clear in my head and ingrained in my responses.
Reeve’s love was simpler, but heavier. It wanted me to change like he’d changed. It wanted me to belong and be free all at once. It wanted me to grow up and be brave and trust. And while I’d only felt the fringes of it, I knew it was glorious and incomparable and that it demanded more than I’d ever given before.
And I wasn’t sure I was capable of that kind of courage. The kind it took to be loved like this all the time. Which was why I was crying, and why, after the night faded into morning, I would leave Reeve’s bed and his island and his life.
“Look at me.”
I twisted my neck toward him, opened my eyes, and fastened my gaze on his. My eyes were blurry but I could see him perfectly. Could see everything he felt, the depths of his emotion. For this moment, this brief moment, while he was inside me and around me, I could hold it. I could shoulder the weight and love him and be loved.
“There you are.” His murmur tensed and then he was shooting into me, his face straining with release. I tipped over the edge after him, like I was falling off a cliff, soaring for the briefest span of time before I hit the rocks below.
I let him hold me after. I let him caress me and say things that didn’t burn so much in the dark of his room, with my eyes on his chest and not buried in his gaze.
“This isn’t the only part of you I want, Emily.” His chest rumbled under my cheek. “I want the other parts too.”
“What parts?” I asked, drunk on every word he said. I’d beg him to say the alphabet just so he’d keep talking.
“Every part. I want the part of you that smiles and teases. And the part of you that argues. The stubborn part. The sassy part. The submissive part. And the parts of you that everyone knows. The famous parts. The private parts.”
I glanced up at him, laughing softly. “You’ve had all my private parts.”
“I want them again. I want them forever. I want them to be only mine.” He brushed his lips across my brow. “Anyone else who owns a piece of you – I want to take their share. Whatever I have to do to make that happen, I’ll do it. If you’ll let me.”
It seemed inappropriate to even think her name when I was pressed up against him, naked, our bodies still sticky with sweat and sex, but I knew he was talking about Amber. It was her shares of me he wanted to own.
And he did. He owned all of me, even if he never knew. She’d relinquished her rights to possession earlier in the evening, when she’d told me I had to go. Perhaps it was paradoxical, that I could only truly be his when I was about to leave him. But this was what we had, and I’d take this one night over never belonging to him at all.
“I’ve already let you,” I hummed. “I’m yours.”
His arms tightened around me. “I know. There’s nothing that can come between us, Blue Eyes. Anything that tries, I’ll handle it. Just like I always handle it.”