Which is why, when I hear my dad begin to yell on Thursday afternoon, I know something is very wrong. Dad rarely loses his temper, and he never yells at clients or donors. I’ve heard him get stern with a couple of reporters who were pushier than usual, but nothing like this.
“Out!” Dad shouts. “Get out of here, now!”
He’s not in his office. The raised voices are coming from down the hallway. I break into a run, racing back to the lobby. I’m ready to take out whoever’s upset my dad, but when I turn the corner, I stop dead in my tracks.
He’s here.
I don’t know who I was expecting when I entered the lobby, but it wasn’t Calder. And yet here he is, looking worn and exhausted and miserable, and he’s still the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. My heart nearly stops beating.
He’s arguing with my dad, but he falls silent the moment he sees me. His eyes widen at the sight of me, and I don’t miss the way they sweep over my body or the way his gaze lingers on my broken arm.
My dad, noticing the sudden silence, stops waving his arms and looks over at me. His face is fuchsia, and his eyebrows twitch as he tries to calm himself.
“I told him he needs to go the cobblestoned drive wsh,” he tells me. “He’s not welcome here.”
I glance back at Calder. He’s still staring at me, his gaze so intense that it makes a shiver run up and down my spine. It’s like he’s forgotten my dad is even here, now that he’s seen me.
My own emotions war in my chest. I’m frozen in place, stuck somewhere between shock and joy and confusion, but it’s the anger that wins out.
“What are you doing here, Calder?” I say, my voice cold. I can’t do this. Not again. Not after everything we’ve been through. Not when I’ve told myself it’s time to move on.
But if Calder’s offended by my tone, he doesn’t show it.
“I came here to see you,” he says. His voice is rough, ragged.
“Well, you’ve seen her,” my dad says. “Now leave.”
But Calder shakes his head. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Yes, you are.” My dad steps toward Calder again. “You’re leaving right this minute, or I’m calling the police.”
“Not until you listen to me,” Calder says. “Not until Lily hears me out.”
By now, I’m not the only one to have heard the yelling. Several of the teachers and other staff members have appeared and are watching the spectacle with varying degrees of curiosity and bewilderment.
But Dad either doesn’t notice our audience or doesn’t care. He’s in a fury.
“How dare you show up here after what you’ve done to this place. After what you’ve done to my daughter.” He looks like he’s ready to sock Calder.
I run over and grab him with my good arm. “Dad. Dad, calm down.”
“No,” he says. “No—I’m tired of letting people like him walk all over people like us.” his face in my hairto10
Calder is trying to argue, and I can tell he’s getting increasingly angry.
But Dad has held this in for too long.
“I don’t care about your excuses!” he says. “I don’t care what sort of mess your family got itself into. You promised us that money, and then you turned around and took advantage of Lily—”
“He didn’t take advantage of me,” I say, at the same time Calder insists, “I didn’t take advantage of her.”
“—and then you waltz in here like you haven’t screwed us every way to Sunday. What, want to get another few kicks in while we’re down?”
“Of course not, sir,” Calder says. “If you’d—”
“Have you seen what that man did to Lily? Have you seen it? This is your fault! Your fault she was hurt!”
Calder is furious. “You think I don’t know that?”
“Then why are you here?” Dad pokes Calder in the chest for emphasis. “Why. Did. You. Come. Here?”
“Because I love her!”
A hush falls over the room. Calder’s words hang in the air, and even my dad stumbles back a step. I can’t breathe.
I raise my gaze to Calder’s. He’s looking at me with such emotion that it feels like the room is spinning around us.
“I love you,” he says, to only me this time.
My blood is rushing in my ears. I’m vaguely aware of my dad between us, of the other staff members gathered around the room, but none of them matter, not right now.
It’s too late.
“What are you doing?” I ask, shaking my head. “You can’t do this to me.” Wentworth Cunningham. to make
Calder looks startled. It isn’t what he expected me to say. It’s not what I meant to say, either, but suddenly all of my emotions come bubbling up.
“It’s just the same thing over and over again,” I say. “We hit a bump and instead of working through it together, you push me away. How long is this going to go on? What, you think because you tell me you love me that all of our problems will go away? That you can just say the magic words and we’ll pick up where we left off as if none of this happened?”
Calder tries to move toward me, but my dad is still in the way.
“Lily—”
“No,” I say. “I’ve spent these last few weeks trying to heal. Telling myself that this was better for you, telling myself that I was stupid for missing you. But you know what’s stupid? Putting myself through the same thing time and again. I can’t deal with the emotional whiplash.”
“Lily, if you’d just let me—”
“I want you to leave.”
The room is dead silent. I can feel a dozen pairs of eyes watching, waiting, and for a long moment, no one moves. I don’t even breathe.
Calder’s gaze burns right through me. He looks by turns stricken, angry, distraught—and then his eyes cloud over, and he gives a single nod.
“All right,” he says. “If that’s what you want.”
He turns and leaves without another word.
The next few minutes occur in a haze. I’m dimly aware of the other staff members silently dispersing, of my dad’s hand on my arm, of Morgan’s concerned gaze. I wave them off and go back to my office.
I’m still angry. I’ve given Calder enough chances. I’ve given him enough of my heart. I was starting to heal, and he had to show up and send my emotions into a whirlwind again.