That was un-fucking-believable. My stare hardened as I waited for her to continue, but she didn’t. “So, you’re telling me that for the past few days you’ve known what I’ve been dealing with?”
“Yes,” she said in a whisper. “But, you have to believe me. I wanted to say something, but I just couldn’t.”
I was angry with her, but it wasn’t for keeping the secret at the time it was told, it was for something way worse. “You want to know why I’m upset right now, Mia?” I kept my tone low, trying my best not to flip my lid.
She nodded. “Because I didn’t tell you.”
“No, I can understand why you kept that to yourself. You’re right, it’s not your secret to tell, but the past fuckin’ three days, you waltzed around here,” I swung my arm indicating where we were, “as though none of it had occurred. What happened to being honest with each another, huh?” I shook my head as I threw on my jeans and tossed on a shirt. “You knew that it was out of the bag—that I finally knew about it and that was why I’ve been upset—yet you pretended as if nothing was wrong. Why? Why now? Why did you choose to tell me this very second?”
“I-I don’t know—maybe to finally be honest with you. I also couldn’t keep it hidden any longer. I was hoping that you would finally confide in me, tell what was wrong with you, but you wouldn’t.” She stood from the bed, her voice a bit higher. “You want to throw honesty out there, Marcus? Tell me. Why weren’t you honest with me? I thought our relationship was at a point where you would be able to tell me anything that was on your mind. I didn’t want to push the issue, force you into it, hoping that just for once, you’d spill your thoughts and feelings to me.”
Anger surged through me. I couldn’t believe what she’d said. I may not be fucking perfect and tell her everything, but I was trying. I was fucking trying. With a raised voice, I blurted, “Is that what it was to you? A fuckin’ test to see if I would spill my feelings? You don’t think I spill my feelings to you, Mia? Do you think it was easy for me to talk to you about my dad? Lou? How Jimmie found our father dead? That was me spilling my fuckin’ guts to you.” Frustrated, I raised my arms in the air. “It may not be every damn day or every time something occurs, but I do. Other than Jimmie, you’re the only person that has come close to knowing what goes on in my fuckin’ head.” I finished with a hard stare, my breathing heavy as she stared back at me.
Tears filled her eyes, and I couldn’t look at her any more. I tore my gaze away and pressed my hands at my hips. With my head bowed, I looked down at the floor, my heart pounding against my chest. “You’re right. You did. Sometimes you’re so distant when you have a lot on your mind. I know you go through a lot, Marcus. I can’t help it that I want to take away all of your stress and worries and make them mine, to somehow ease your burden.” She sniffed a few times. At that statement, I shut my eyes and shook my head. I knew that she worried for me, but I didn’t realize how many of my burdens had stressed her as well.
“Mia, I’m . . .”
Before I could finish, the sound of my phone ringing had cut in. I looked up at her wet eyes and had an urge to reach out and grab her, to comfort her, but I looked away and headed toward my phone. “Hello.” I answered on the fourth ring, forgetting to check who it was.
“Uncle Marcus, guess what I did today?” Elle’s enthusiastic tone chirped through the phone. Even after the entire mess Mia and I had just gone through, I was able to smile at the sound of my niece’s voice.
“You got me. What did you do?” I asked as I walked passed Mia. I stopped in front of her and covered the speaker of my cell with my hand. “I’m going in the hallway to talk with Elle. I’ll be back soon.” I tilted my head, hoping that she would make eye contact with me, but she didn’t. Instead she gave me a curt nod, turned on her heels, and entered the bathroom. With a heavy sigh, I closed the door to our hotel room behind me as I walked down the hall and turned my attention back to my niece.
“Daddy took me to my first dance class!”
“That’s awesome, Elle. Did you learn anything in your first class?”
“Lots of stretching, but today was ballet, which was okay. Next week is jazz! I’m totally looking forward to it.” I chuckled at how damn cute she was. “So when are you coming back home? I want to show you and Mia some moves I learned.”
“Soon, sweetheart.”
“Oh . . . Okay. Daddy wants to talk to you, Uncle Marc. I love you.”
“Love you too, Elle
“Elle go play in the yard. I’ll be there in a little while.” Jimmie’s voice came through the phone. “Hey, little bro,” he said after a few seconds in a low tone. I guessed that he wanted to make sure Elle was no longer around.
“What’s up, Jimmie.” I leaned against the hallway wall and looked down toward our room, hoping I didn’t find Mia running off.
“So, Mom stopped by last night . . .” He paused, and with a heavy sigh, he continued, “She told me what was going on.”
“She saved me the trouble, huh?”
“Bro, trust me when I say she was not happy with my thoughts when she left, but she’s still our mother and a damn good one at that. Her issues with Dad were buried right along with him fifteen years ago.”
“You don’t think I know that? But she had an affair with that fuckin’ bastard, Jimmie. Out of all the men she could have had an affair with, she had it with Lou! It fuckin’ disgusts me in more ways than one. You know the fuckin’ excuse she had?”
“No, what was it?”
“That Dad was never around. She never felt lonelier in her life. That he was always out on jobs—”
Jimmie blew out a low whistle. “I know, man. I know. I can’t imagine what she was thinking when she messed around on Dad.” He paused for a second. “Are you afraid that Mia will run off and do the same?”
“What? No.” I was shocked by that random question. I hadn’t thought of it that way. Well, maybe deep down, there was some part of me that was concerned. My mother had always seemed to be perfect in every way; she always took care of her husband and her children. Then, suddenly, after all these years, I found out that she had been unfaithful to my father. What made me think Mia wouldn’t run off and do the same as well? My life now wasn’t much different than my father’s was back then.