“I felt uneasy, so I focused more on him. He didn’t like that I was intensely paying extra attention to him. I watched as he whispered something to his boss. His boss narrowed his eyes at me, and I knew something was going to go down. I felt it. The boss made his way to me, standing only inches away. By this time my guys were attentive and were beside me, feeling the vibe as well. He asked me if I was a cop. I was completely shocked by this; I’ve previously done jobs with him. I told him no, he asked me if I was wearing a wire. I lifted my shirt to show him I wasn’t. The new guy wasn’t convinced. He began to chant something in their language, and I grew irritated. So I made an offensive comment that he didn’t like.
“Before I knew it, guns were drawn and shots were fired all over the place. My guys shot the other two men. The new guy had attacked me at that time; we wrestled, punched, and tackled each other until he reached for his gun. He pointed it at me. At that moment, I thought I was done; your face was the only thing that came to my mind, that and the thought of leaving you behind, the thought of never being able to hold you again, to kiss you again. I didn’t want to go without a fight. So without thinking, I quickly punched him and reached for the gun and shot him in the head…it was him or me, and I chose me because of you.”
I was speechless, listening to him and his story. He spoke in detail of the night, of the fact that he almost lost his life. My heart picked up its pace as I began to realize that I almost lost him. He was inches away from being gunned down and killed. He would have been the third man in my life that I loved so dearly to have been taken away from me. Fresh tears began to form my eyes, and I wanted to hold him and let him know I wouldn’t go, let him know that I would stay no matter what.
Though I wanted to reach out and comfort him, I pulled back because this was the main reason why I should go, why I should take my unborn child and run. It would hurt less to leave than to stay and wait up every night, wondering if he’d be home soon or if I’d get a call that he was dead. I shuddered at the thought. I wondered if I were brave enough to walk out of there even after his confession.
Slowly rising from the bed, I grabbed the handle of the suitcase and began to walk towards him. When I was inches away from him, I reached up and touched his face. My thumb caressed his cheekbone; he looked so tired, and defeated.
Tracing my hand on the back of his neck, I pulled him down to me. His soft lips touched mine, and I gently kissed him. Tears streamed down my face as this would be our last kiss. He gently sighed at my embrace, but I pulled my head away. His eyes shot open, searching my face. “Goodbye, Marcus,” I whispered. His eyes filled with pain, and his breathing began to pick up.
“No!” He yelled. Gripping my hips, he pulled me into him. “No, please don’t leave me, Mia. I need you. I can’t live without you. Please!” His arms were tightly wrapped around me, I couldn’t breathe. I tried to pull away, but he pulled me in tighter. “No! Please … Please … I can’t …” His voice broke. Then before I could pull away again, he began to sob. He buried his face into my neck. I could feel the moisture of his tears against my skin. It broke my heart to see and hear this strong, powerful, masculine man this vulnerable and broken.
I began to sob with him, dropping the suitcase onto the ground. I wrapped my arms around his neck. “Please, Marcus, let me go … I love you so much, and this is hard enough …” I couldn’t finish. He tightened his arms around me like I would disappear any second.
His head dug in deeper into the nape of my neck, and he sobbed, crying out for me not to leave. “Mia, please…you’re the reason for me living, you’re the reason I want to wake up every morning, and you’re the reason for my existence. Before you, I didn’t care if I was killed. I woke up every morning miserable, wondering why I was here. I was so close to taking my own life right before I met you because I thought I was useless. Then when I met you … you’re everything, Mia Without you, there’s no reason for me … Please.” He choked.
Taking in everything that he just said, I closed my eyes as tightly as I could and squeezed my arms around him. He tried to kill himself before? If I leave and there’s no reason for him, does that mean he’ll try to again? The thought shattered my heart into a million pieces. A world without Marcus DeLuca wouldn’t be a world at all. He thought he was useless and therefore tried to take his own life. Oh, I wanted to make him feel okay. I wanted to take all the pain and misery away from him.
He’d been through so much, and this was all he knew, but it wasn’t what I knew. Was I ready to deal with this? I loved him so much. At that moment, even though I knew I must protect our child, I would rather deal with the consequences of his second life than see him broken down and hurt.
Lifting my head to face him, I cupped his face with my hands. His eyes were blood shot; his eyelids are swollen and wet. “I’m sorry,” I whispered, bringing his lips to mine. He was hesitant at first; I’m sure he was afraid that it was a goodbye kiss. My mouth slightly opened, allowing his tongue to slide in.
He hungrily kissed me, tasting me and brought his hands to my face. Before I could deepen our kiss, he pulled back, looking into my eyes. “You’re not leaving me?” His tone was uneasy and shaky.
“No, baby, I’m not. I’m sorry,” I whispered.
Letting out a long deep breath, he closed his eyes, pressing his forehead against mine. “Oh, Mia, I’m sorry…I’m so sorry. I fucking love you so much.” Reaching back for my lips, he didn’t move from them.
Bending down, he gripped my thighs and lifted me, wrapping my legs around his waist. Not breaking from the kiss, he walked over while carrying me to the bed. My body sank into the soft mattress. He ripped off our clothes, and before I knew it we were both naked. He pressed his body against mine, and the warmth of his body sent shivers down my spine. He placed his elbows on either side of my face and dug his hands under my head. Bringing his head down, he began to trace long kisses all around my face: on my forehead, my eyes, my nose, my cheeks, down my jawline and my chin. He bestowed warm kisses on every inch of my face until he reached my lips.
“I love you, Mia.” He mumbled against my lips.
“I love you too, Marcus.” I moaned. Feeling him on me, his lips on mine, and his warm responsiveness, I was able to forget at that moment about everything and just allow him to take control. I gasped when he spread my legs with his thighs and filled me with his length. I wanted him as badly as he wanted me. He met my hips, and his every thrust was at the perfect rhythm and speed. He took his time, allowing us to enjoy each other, to savor this moment, not wanting for this moment to disappear.