His family fell on the coffee like it was a gift from heaven. He’d thought only he and Mother—well, and Emily—were nervous, but it turned out Father and Chase weren’t so calm themselves. They gladly took the diversion, swarming around the pot and cups, not to mention the box of donuts.
Who brought donuts to an intervention? For that matter, who in his family ever bought donuts, period? It had to be Emily. She hadn’t grown up the way Tierney and Chase or even their parents had. Her family didn’t have money or social standing or influence. She was, to put it bluntly, not their kind.
Marrying her had to be the smartest thing Chase had ever done. When Tierney’s eyes met hers, she smiled at him again. A small, sad smile. Then, to Tierney’s surprise, she came over while everyone else was busy with the refreshments. She sat on the arm of his chair and looked down at him, but didn’t say anything.
“Um, hi.”
“Are you doing all right?”
Tierney blinked. In what way did she mean? All right with being gay, or all right with the family wanting to send him off to the funny farm, or something else entirely? And who the fuck was she to offer him sympathy? Had he asked for it?
“I’m fine,” he spat out, quietly but viciously enough that it knocked her off the arm of his chair. Right into his fucking brother’s sheltering embrace.
“Don’t be an asshole to my wife,” he snapped, bending to set down his coffee, and then pulled Emily closer.
“Sweetheart, give him a break,” she said loud enough for Tierney to hear. Chase turned to her, as if inspecting her for damage. Like Tierney would have fucking hurt her. Please. He stared at them sullenly, but that was a mistake. Watching them meant he saw it—the moment of silent communication that happened between two people who were intimately connected. Not in the physical way only, but the emotional too. Emily telling Chase somehow that it was okay, she was okay. And Chase, that motherfucker, understood her because why? Because he cared about her so much he’d bothered to learn that language of the eyes or whatever the fuck it was.
It made him think of Dalton.
Tierney vaulted out of his chair, startling his mother so much she fumbled her coffee. “I’m not going to your fucking ex-gay camp, so you guys can all go home. Your work here is done.” He clapped his hands at them, trying to herd them out like ducks. “Intervention’s over. Thanks for coming,” he sang. His robe was gaping open, but he didn’t care.
His father stood. “It’s not an ‘ex-gay’ program. It’s a place for you to relax, goddammit!”
“By separating me from the people who stress me out? Brilliant idea.” Tiny droplets of spittle flew into his father’s face as he shouted, but the guy didn’t back down.
Then Chase got in on the act, letting go of his wife and seriously violating Tierney’s personal boundaries. “We’re sending you there so you can dry out, you lush.”
“The pictures of the grounds are lovely.” Mother reached from her seat on the couch to take his hand, patting it. “It’s in the California wine country. You’ll have a wonderful time.”
Tierney stared at her a second, then yanked away, stepping back out of the familial triangle of aggression. “I’m. Not. Going. None of you can make me, and so far no one has given me a valid reason for checking myself into this place. What’s my diagnosis? Don’t I have to be nuts?”
“You just need to be fucked up enough to an—”
“Chase!” Father thundered. “Stop that now! You aren’t helping in the least.” He glared at him until Chase went skulking back to Emily. Tierney smirked. He was on the verge of sticking out his tongue when Father continued. “Son, it’s a chance for you to get your head back in the game. We all know you haven’t been yourself for . . .”
Ever. At least since his teen years.
“A while now, I suppose.”
Tierney looked away, taking a moment to belt his robe. “What about what I said last night? About being—” swallow “—gay.” Everyone seemed to suddenly have clothing to adjust, or a frog in their throat.
Except Emily. “Well, it’s certainly not something that can be hidden now. If you even wanted to try.”
Tierney met her cool gray eyes and was swamped with guilt for snapping at her earlier. He tried to tell her in that silent way—they were friends, maybe it was possible—but she turned back toward Mother and Father.
Dalton would have gotten the message. He squelched the thought.
“My understanding of this place, the Dunthorpe Centre, is that it’s not prepared to handle any ‘reprogramming.’ It really is for professionals on the verge of a nervous breakdown to restore their equilibrium,” his sister-in-law added.
Father nodded and turned toward Tierney, straightening his shoulders. “We’re hoping that, after sufficient time there, you’ll find that your, well, penchant for men will . . .”
“Fade?” Tierney shook his head. “It’s not going anywhere. It’s had twenty years to fade away and it hasn’t yet.”
His father’s eyes widened. “That wasn’t just something you said? Some sort of rebellion?”
Tierney heard Chase snort as he said, “No.”
Father looked over at Mother, eyes wide, and she sat forward, folding her hands in her lap just so. “Let’s simply deal with your, well, nervous breakdown first. We’re more concerned about your state of mind in general right now. I think it would be the best thing for you. Take a little vacation from your stresses, and you’ll come back good as new.” She smiled brightly. “And then we’ll discuss that other thing.” She whispered the last three words.
“Vacation,” Chase repeated, scowling. “More like a chance for you to hide after thoroughly disgracing yourself—and all of us, I might add.”
Hide. His mind seized on that word, not because he really wanted to hide, but maybe he could take some time to find himself, like he’d been supposed to do in college but never had. Learn to deal with being “out” before he actually went out. Then when he came back, he’d have an idea how to act, right? He could make a plan while he was at this rehab place, so he’d at least know how to fake his way through it. Fake his way through life.
Wasn’t that how I got to this point?
He turned away from his inner voice and met Chase’s gaze. He was sneering, daring Tierney to take it on the chin “like a man” instead of hiding. Walk in to work tomorrow and face the rest of his life in this state of unknowing and vulnerability.