He shrugged casually, but his eyes remained sharp and fixed on her. “I’m not joking when I say they’re my kids and I’m going to make sure they’re taken care of.”
“By buying off their mother?” Insult slapped at her. Did he really believe he could just walk in here, wave his money in front of her face and she’d do backflips to please him? “A half a million dollars? What were you thinking?”
“That you need the money.”
“I don’t want it, Colt,” she said tightly.
“Want it or not, it’s done,” he said and closed the laptop with a soft click. “You don’t have to live from month to month, Penny.”
“I don’t need your handouts.” Okay, big lie. She did need it. She just didn’t want to need it. A half a million dollars? That was nuts. Just insane. And served to point out once again just how different their lives were.
A flash of heat singed the ice in his eyes. “It’s not a handout. It’s the right thing to do.”
“According to you,” she snapped.
“My vote’s the only one that counts.”
“So typical,” she muttered, shaking her head as if trying to convince herself that this was all some kind of nightmare and all she had to do was wake up.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means, you’re the one who decided our marriage was a mistake.” Words so hard to say. She could still feel the pain of that last morning with him in Vegas. The memory of his eyes, cool, distant, staring at her as if he was watching a stranger. The clipped note in his voice. The fact that he never once looked back as he walked away from her. “Your vote was the only one that counted then, too, I remember.”
His features went cold and hard. His eyes took on that same distance she recalled so well. “That was then. This is now. And the sooner you get used to this,” he was saying, “the easier it’ll be. On all of us.”
She pushed to her feet, gave a quick look to the twins, forced a smile for their sakes, then turned back to Colt. “Why should I want to make this easy on you? You barged in here and took over. No matter what you think, I’m not your duty, Colt. I’m not your anything.”
His smile was tight, his eyes narrowed as he looked past her briefly to the two babies still happily babbling. “This isn’t about you, Penny. It’s about them. And the twins are my duty. My responsibility. And I’m going to do whatever I think is right to make sure they have everything they need.”
“What they need is love and they have that.”
He snorted and tapped his fingers on the thick pile of newly paid bills. “Love doesn’t buy groceries or pay the electric company.”
She flushed but it was as much anger as it was embarrassment. Penny hated that he knew how tight money was for her. Hated knowing that he was able, with a few clicks of a mouse, to clear away the bills that had been plaguing her. Hated that it was a relief to have that particular worry off her shoulders.
Mostly though, she hated being this close to Colton again because it reminded her that wanting what you couldn’t have was just an exercise in self-torture.
“I don’t need a white knight in a black SUV riding to the rescue.”
“You sure as hell need something, Penny.”
“Don’t curse in front of the twins.”
He stared at her. “They’re eight months old. I don’t think they’re listening to us.”
“You have no idea what they hear or remember.”
Grumbling under his breath, he pushed back from the table, the chair legs scraping against the wood floor. When he stood up, he walked past her, across the room, heading for the coffeepot. Along the way, he trailed his fingers across the top of Riley’s head. He looked back at Penny as he poured two cups of coffee. “You can hardly stand without wincing. You’ve got two kids to take care of. Why’re you fighting my help?”
Why? Because having him here tore at her. Her emotions felt flayed. Being with Colt was too hard. Too nebulous. He was here today but he’d be gone tomorrow and she knew it. The question was, why didn’t he know it? He was always looking for a way to risk his life. How long would he last in a beach cottage in a sleepy town where the only risk was fighting diaper rash?
“Because you don’t belong here, Colt,” she said, idly pushing Reid’s scattered Cheerios into a pile for him. “I’m not going to count on your ‘help’ only to watch it disappear.”
Shaking his head, he carried both cups of coffee across the room and handed one to her. “I told you. This is different.” He waved his cup at the twins. “They make it different.”
“For how long?”
“What?”
Her hands curled around the coffee cup, drawing the heat into her palms, sending it rushing through her veins, dispelling the chill she felt. “We were married for a single day before you ended it. You left and never looked back. I won’t let you do that to my kids.”
“Who says I will?”
“I do,” she said, gathering together every last, ragged thread of her remaining self-control. “You live your life with risk, Colt. But I don’t. And I won’t let my kids live that way, either. Most especially, I won’t risk my children’s heartbreak on a father who will eventually turn his back and walk away.”
* * *
“So where is she?”
Late that afternoon, Connor looked around the small living room as if half expecting to find Penny huddled under a throw pillow.
“She’s taking a nap,” Colt answered and dropped onto the couch. The overstuffed cushions felt so good, he thought he just might stay there for a year or two. “So are the twins.”
Connor stuffed his hands into his slacks pockets and rocked back on his heels. “Well, wake ’em up. I want to meet my niece and nephew.”
Stunned, Colt stared at his brother for a second. “Are you nuts? This is the first chance I’ve had to sit down in three hours.” His eyes narrowed on his twin. “Wake them up and die.”
Connor chuckled, walked to the nearest chair and plopped down into it. “Don’t look now, but you sound like a beleaguered housewife.”
He frowned at that, then shrugged. “Never again will I say the phrase ‘just a housewife.’ How the hell do women do it? I’ve been here two days and I’m beat. Cooking, cleaning, taking care of two babies...” He paused, let his head drop to the couch back and added, “women are made of way tougher stuff than us, Con. Trust me.”