She’d known, of course, that she still loved Colt. Love just wasn’t something that ended. At least, not for Penny. And being here with him, seeing him with the twins, had only etched him deeper into her heart than he had been before. Which was, she knew, a recipe for disaster.
She could already feel him pulling away from her. From the twins. It was as if the closer to being healed Penny became, the faster Colt was drawing back. She only wished it was that easy to turn down her feelings for him. The sad truth was, she still loved him. She’d never stopped loving him. But at least until this week, she’d taught herself to live without him in her life.
Now he was back and it was harder than ever to imagine going on without him. Her heart ached with the might-have-beens that rotated through her brain at all hours of the day and night. She looked at her babies and felt desolate that their father would be only a visitor in their lives. They would miss out on so much—and so would Colt. He didn’t even realize it, but in leaving, he was cheating himself. She knew he didn’t see it that way, though. There was something driving Colt. He was a warm, funny, intelligent man who was determined to live his life alone. Why? What was it in his past that kept him from seeing a chance at a future?
Reid turned his face up to hers at just that moment. A sweet smile curved his little mouth; his blue eyes were shining with love and trust and sheer joy. His soft black hair blew across his forehead and his chubby hands lifted his book to his mouth. Penny’s aching heart melted a little and she wished suddenly that Colt could see just what he was running from. That he would discover the truth in time. But she wasn’t holding her breath.
Her gaze shifted to the roofline, where one of Rafe’s crews was working diligently. Colt had been up there, too, until about an hour ago. It was in his nature to take risks, even if it was only walking along a roofline as if he were on a tightrope. He was so busy keeping busy that he couldn’t see what was right in front of him. The biggest adrenaline rush in the world. Love.
“Oh, this isn’t good, is it?”
Penny jerked out of her daydreams and shifted her gaze to Maria as she picked her way across the yard. She wore a black skirt and a red blazer over a white silk blouse, and her three-inch heels kept sinking into the grass as she walked.
“Hi. What did you say?”
“I said, this doesn’t look good.” She squinted up at the crew on the roof, getting ready to spread a striped tent over the house. “Termites?”
“Only a few bazillion.”
Maria shook her head and said, “If they’re tenting, why’re you still here? Shouldn’t you be at Colt’s place?”
“We will be, this afternoon,” Penny said on a sigh. She wasn’t looking forward to it, but she didn’t have much choice, either. At the moment, Colt had a team of people inside the cottage, preparing for the termite extermination. But once the tent was up and the gas pumped in, she and the kids wouldn’t be able to get back inside for at least forty-eight hours. Which meant either she try to keep the twins happy locked up in a motel room...or, she did what Colt was insisting on. Move in at his place for the duration.
It was hard enough having him here at her house. What was it going to be like staying with him? Heck, she’d never even seen the place Colt called home. Was it a palace? A condo? A plush penthouse apartment? He hadn’t eased her curiosity, either, he’d just said, “You’ll see when we get there.”
“You sound thrilled at the prospect,” Maria said, stepping out of her heels to take a seat on the blanket. Automatically, she swept Reid up onto her lap where the baby boy chortled happily and busied himself with the gold chain Maria wore around her neck.
“Well, it’s weird,” Penny tried to explain. “Moving into his house is completely different than having him here.”
Maria nodded sagely. “The home turf advantage you mean.”
“Exactly!” Penny smiled, pulled blades of grass from Riley’s hand and added, “I don’t want to owe him any more, you know?”
“I’m sorry,” Maria said, shaking her head. “I must have gone momentarily deaf. You owe him? You already gave him two kids. How much more could the bill be?”
Penny laughed in spite of the situation. Maria was not only Robert’s fiancée, but a really good friend. And right now, Penny needed one. “Maria, he paid off my bills. He stuck his nose in and used his money to ‘straighten out my life.’”
“Good for him.”
“What? Aren’t you on my side?”
“Absolutely. But why shouldn’t he pay off your bills? Honestly, Penny, pride’s a great thing. But I’d rather have electricity than sit in the dark telling myself over and over again how proud I am.”
“Some help you are.”
“Hey, I’m a lawyer. We’re soulless, remember?”
Penny laughed again. “I keep forgetting that part. And how did you know I’d be here?”
“Colt told me.”
“Told you? When did you see him?”
Maria pulled the gold chain out of Reid’s mouth and said, “At the hospital. I was supposed to meet Robert for lunch today but when I got there, he and Colt were just heading to the cafeteria.”
“What? Why?” Colt went to see her brother? Without bothering to mention it to her? What was going on? What was he up to now? There was just no telling. Nothing was sacred to Colt. He’d invaded every aspect of her life and there was no sign of his stopping.
Maria shrugged, and kissed the top of Reid’s head. “I don’t know. Rob just said he’d see me at home later. But they looked...serious.”
“Great.” Now she could worry about what her brother and her— Wait. Just what was Colt to her? Her ex? Sure, but there was more. Her baby daddy? Yep, that, too. Her lover? Everything inside her curled up into a ball and whimpered at the thought. One night with Colt had her dreaming of more nights with Colt and that was just piling mistakes on mistakes and she knew it.
Didn’t stop the wanting, though. Didn’t stop the wishing or the misery that accompanied the knowledge that wishes very rarely came true.
“God. You’re still in love with him, aren’t you?”
Penny’s gaze snapped to Maria’s and she felt a flush fill her cheeks. “Of course not. That would be completely stupid.”
Maria lifted one eyebrow and gave Penny her best lawyer glare.