Fine for him to lose himself in his own business, but he didn’t want to allow her the same privilege. Her business was as important to her as the ranch itself was to Adam. You would have thought he could appreciate that, at least.
Still, no point in arguing with a man whose expression clearly stated he was looking for a battle. She didn’t really want to fight with him anyway. Instead she wanted to reach him. Reach the Adam she’d known as a girl. The one who’d always stood up for her. The one she knew was still locked away deep inside him.
So when Gina spoke, she kept her tone reasonable, despite the flare of what her mother liked to call the Torino Temper.
“I’ve only had a few people a week over, Adam. They have to come to see the Gypsies in person. I have to see the way they are around the horses. There’s simply no way to avoid it even if I wanted to. Which, by the way, I don’t.”
“I don’t want these people around.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” She wouldn’t give in. She loved him, but she wasn’t going to stand still for havingWelcome tattooed on her forehead, either.
His mouth flattened into a slash of disapproval. “This isn’t working out, Gina.”
“This?” she repeated, with a wave of her hand. “This what? The horses? The people?”
“The marriage,” he said shortly.
She rocked back on her heels a little from the force of that smack down. Her stomach tightened and an ache settled around her heart. But through the pain, her mind started racing. What had brought this on? She thought back over the day and all she could find was little Danny’s scream. Then something hit her and she felt badly that it hadn’t occurred to her before.
“It was Danny, wasn’t it?” Her voice was a whisper of concern. “Little Danny’s scream started all this.”
His face froze, so Gina knew she’d touched on the truth. She should have realized. He’d lost a son. Of course that child’s scream would tear at him. Bring back memories of another child, that one lost to him forever.
“The boy has nothing to do with this.”
“I think you’re wrong.”
“Of course you do,” he said. “But that doesn’t really matter.”
“Adam, it does matter.” She took a step closer to him, her momentary rush of anger dying in a swell of sympathy. “Hearing Danny made you think of Jeremy.”
If possible, the scowl on his face deepened. His dark eyes shuttered and before she could say anything else, Adam stood up and faced her.
“This isn’t about my son. Don’t bring the past into this.”
“The past colors everything we have now,” she argued.
“Maybe in your world, but the past does not influence me.” He glared at her and Gina knew he actually believed that lie. But she also knew the truth. She knew that when he’d heard Danny’s joyful scream, it had touched something inside him. Something he kept locked away from everyone.
“This isn’t about that boy. This is about the deal we struck. I realize we made a bargain,” he said, his eyes as cold as ever, his words as unaffected by emotion as the robotic voice of a computer. “One which, I’m sure you’ll admit, I’ve done my very best to honor.”
“Yes,” she said tightly, trying to ignore the rush of heat that swam through her at the mere thought of the nights she spent in his arms. If she hadn’t been using her diaphragm religiously, she had no doubt that she’d be pregnant. Her mom had always said they were a fertile bunch and heaven knew Adam had certainly put everything he had into making the child they’d agreed on. “You have. As have I,” she pointed out quickly.
“True.”
Did his eyes warm up there for a second? Was he, too, thinking about their nights together? Or was it only wishful imagining on Gina’s part?
“But,” he said, capturing her attention again, “since we’ve been married more than two months and you’re not pregnant yet, it might be time to reconsider the bargain.”
“What?”She hadn’t expected this. Hadn’t thought that Adam would want to walk away from a deal that promised him the deed to the land he wanted so badly. But if he did want out, what could she do about it? Clearly she hadn’t been able to get him to open up yet. So was she supposed to pick up her toys and go home? Forget about her time here? With him? Try to move on?
Oh, good God.
As if needing more room for this conversation, Adam stepped past her and walked into the shadow-filled barn. The mingled scents of horses, fresh hay and old wood made an almost comforting aroma. She walked to join him and kept her gaze on his even when he turned his head to stare out at the sun-washed yard beyond the open doors.
“You want to end the bargain?” she asked, and winced when her voice came out so small, so reluctant. “Because if you do, I won’t agree.”
She should, of course. What kind of woman would stay with a man who didn’t want her? Where the hell was her dignity? Her sense of Torino pride? But the moment those questions rose up in her mind, she mentally provided the answers.
Her pride had been swallowed by her love. It wasn’t as though she had a choice in this, Gina thought in her own defense. It wasn’t as if you got tochoose who to love. She had loved Adam for most of her life. Sometimes, she felt as if she’d been born loving him. And the time spent with him these last few months only confirmed her feelings.
She wasn’t an idiot, though. She knew he wasn’t perfect. Far from it, in fact. He could be cold and calculating. He wasn’t an easy man to get along with, but he was never cruel or deliberately unkind, either. There were shadows of pain in his eyes that she only rarely caught glimpses of and his even rarer smiles were enough to melt her heart even when she was doing her best to stand strong.
Not perfect, no. But he’d always been perfect forher.
And wasn’t that what loving was all about?
He shifted his gaze, stared at her for a long time and she really wished she could read whatever he was thinking in his eyes. But he was too good at masking his emotions. Too good a negotiator in business to let his opponent get a good read on him.
Finally, though, he spoke. “No, I don’t want to end our bargain.”
Gina pulled in a slow, deep breath, relief swamping her even while anxiety hovered nearby, ready to pounce. “All right,” she said. “Then what are you talking about?”
“I think it would be in both our best interests to redefine the bargain, that’s all,” he said quietly. “You’re not pregnant yet…”