Had she been right to play Byron’s game?
In a way, it had been like tricking Jake into rushing down a path he might not have normally taken, and she was still carrying on a deception with Byron’s engagement ring. Yet if she hadn’t done it, would she have ever had a chance of getting this close to Jake Devila? A chance of marrying him? On the other hand, would he make a good husband? Would he be a good father? How could she believe it?
Right now he was helping her into the passenger seat of his red Ferrari. The flashy sports car did not suggest the psyche of a family man. Completely the opposite, in fact. It was probably crazy to think about marrying him. An affair was definitely on the cards and Merlina couldn’t deny she was terribly tempted by the exciting experience of having Jake as a lover. But she was nervous about it, too. He’d had so many women. How would she compare?
He shut the car door and swiftly strode around the bonnet to take the driver’s seat. The tall, athletic maleness of him shot quivers through her stomach. She would soon have the chance to see him naked, feel him naked. So many times she had fantasised such a scene taking place. Now that the hot, hard reality of it was rushing in on her, she was scared of it.
Jake settled beside her and closed his door, filling the space inside the car with a sense of primal urgency. He gunned the powerful engine and they were away, charging into a togetherness they had never had before. The security gates at the end of the driveway were being opened but he had to slow the car briefly and he reached across and took her hand, his fingers tightening around hers in a possessive grasp.
‘Are you okay, Merlina?’ he asked in a surprisingly gentle tone.
His dark eyes scanned hers for some sign that she was with him in spirit as well as physically present.
‘I don’t know,’ she answered shakily. ‘Taking off with you feels like a rash leap in the dark.’
He squeezed her hand reassuringly. ‘Don’t worry. Just let it happen.’
‘Don’t you ever think about what you’re doing, Jake?’
‘I don’t have to think about this. It’s right between us. You know it is.’
His eyes blazed absolute conviction at her, then satisfied that he’d settled that point, he removed his hand to shift gears and turned his gaze to the street they were about to enter.
‘It wasn’t right until I turned into a blonde for the cake act,’ she muttered. Which reminded her…‘What happened with Vanessa Hall? You were in the middle of a relationship with her.’
‘Vanessa and I called it quits on Saturday.’
‘Because of me?’
‘Yes. Because of you.’ He threw her a quick burning glance. ‘Let it be understood that Vanessa was no more than a social convenience in my life.’
‘And I was a work convenience,’ spilled out in a bitter little burst.
‘No. You were never a convenience,’ he denied emphatically.
‘What was I then?’ she challenged, still needing to probe his feelings for her.
‘The light of my life. How’s that?’ He flashed her a grin, getting back into his playboy stride. ‘And I’m not about to let it go out.’
Was it a bit of flippant charm or did he mean it? ‘When did I become the light of your life?’ she asked, mockingly adding, ‘Suddenly? On Saturday afternoon?’
The grin turned into a grimace of vexation at her reading of the situation. ‘This is no flash in the pan, Merlina. In fact, the chemistry we mixed together stirred to life at your job interview with me, strengthened considerably on your first day at work and has been running on well-charged batteries ever since. And for you to pull the plug on it…’ His dark eyebrows beetled down at her. ‘Why did you?’
She shrugged, feeling more able to cope with this conversation. Silence fed too many doubts and worries. ‘I was sick of being your wind-up doll,’ she answered bluntly.
‘Hmm…I always anticipated your calling it time up sooner or later. ‘
That stung her into saying, ‘Oh, really? I thought you expected me to sparkle for you as long as you liked.’
‘No, I was just seeing how far I could wind you. I thought you might explode over the cake idea. I was actually looking forward to the conflagration, but you held it in and paid me out on your own spectacular terms—a tactic, I might add, that I admired for its sheer boldness until my grandfather leapt on board and cut me out.’
‘You weren’t in, Jake. You were with Vanessa Hall,’ she reminded him cattily, remembering how many times she’d burned over his women. It was all very well to call her the light of his life. What were they? Briefly flickering candles?
‘Believe me. Vanessa was well aware of how in I was by the end of Saturday’s party,’ he drawled sardonically.
‘What? You had to lose me before you decided you wanted me?’ Merlina sniped, disgruntled with his twofaced attitude.
‘I told you. It was always there. But you were so good at working with me I didn’t want to complicate the situation.’
‘Right! So it was okay to keep me dangling to serve your interests. Never mind how I felt about it.’
His attention instantly veered from the road to focus intently on her. ‘How did you feel about it?’
Merlina clamped her mouth shut. Those treacherous words had slipped out. She knew better than to give anything up to Jake Devila. He’d go to work on it and get an advantage for himself. She had to keep her obsession with him hidden and try to find the real guts in what he was now revealing.
‘I don’t like being played with,’ she tossed at him. ‘I don’t know what I’m doing here with you. I should have stayed with Byron.’
‘No!’
‘You’re just going to play with me on another level, Jake.’
‘It ceased to be a game the moment you threw down the gauntlet, Merlina,’ he said with surprising seriousness.
‘What is it then? Isn’t this all about winning what you want?’
‘No. It’s about sharing something special.’ His eyes pinned hers in a brief glittering challenge. ‘Something that neither of us will get from anyone else.’
She sucked in a quick breath to ease the tight squeeze on her heart. It was what scared her most, never being able to find anyone else who could touch the chords in her that Jake touched—touched and tweaked and tuned to his pitch. Instinct told her he would have even more power over her feelings if she went to bed with him. Yet if she didn’t…maybe she would be missing the most special experience of her entire life.