“You were in your other world?”
“Yes.” He was intensely grateful for her simple acceptance of what he’d said last night. “I didn’t know what was happening to you. I wish I had known.”
“That’s all right, Daddy. You couldn’t help it.”
He would certainly help it from now on, Quin fiercely resolved.
“I was too sick to get out of bed when I was in the hospital,” Zoe went on. “Mummy said I was like a little caterpillar in a cocoon and I had to wait there until I was strong enough to be a butterfly, free to dance in the open air and feel beautiful.”
“You are beautiful.”
Her eyes shone with happiness. He wanted to pick her up and hug her tight but caution insisted not yet. It might be too soon for her to feel comfortable with it. He was still virtually a stranger to her, despite their blood relationship.
“Let’s find a place for the Ulysses on the tree,” she cried excitedly, throwing off the bedcovers and jumping onto the floor. With the glass butterfly being carefully carried in her little hands, she was halfway to the bay window when she stopped, glancing back at him.
Quin hadn’t moved. He was entranced by everything about his daughter; the cute girly way she walked, the soft roundness of her arms and legs, the smooth perfection of her young skin, the black bob of thick hair somewhat awry from a night in bed.
He was smiling and she flashed him a quick smile in response before saying, “I’ve got to get Mummy. She sticks the butterflies on the tree with glue tac.”
“Right!” he approved.
“And I have to go to the bathroom,” she confessed shyly.
“We all need to do that when we first get up in the morning,” he assured her.
Relieved by his understanding, she rushed back and handed him her gift. “You mind the Ulysses until I come back.” Her big grey eyes flashed an eloquent appeal. “Don’t go away.”
“I’ll stay right here.”
“That’s good, Daddy.”
Another quick smile and she was off, pelting out of the bedroom to do what had to be done in double-quick time.
He heard her calling out to Mummy and Nanna, her high childish voice bubbling with excitement. Quin had to concede that both women had given his daughter a loving home and brought her up to be a wonderfully natural child. Even the trauma of a serious illness had not left a shadow on her life.
He probably hadn’t been missed at all.
Nobody missed what they hadn’t ever known.
Nicole was worried about his intrusion, worried about its effect on Zoe. She didn’t trust him to follow through on this initial impact. Quin realised that only time would prove her wrong, but how long was it going to take? He had already lost too much time he could never get back.
He looked down at the blue butterfly Zoe had placed in his hands as a surety against his departing before she returned. At least his daughter trusted in his word. Quin vowed she’d never have reason not to trust it. While it might be impossible to shield her from pain in her life, he would try his utmost not to be the cause of it.
And one thing Nicole could not deny—he had given his daughter pleasure this morning. Every opportunity he had, he would continue to do so. What he needed to do was set up as many opportunities as possible.
Zoe came racing back into the room, Nicole following her reluctantly despite the excited urging. “Come and see, Mummy. It’s made of glass. Show her, Daddy.”
Nicole flashed him a hard, resentful look.
Quin stood up, holding out the gift to his daughter. “You show her, Zoe. It’s yours.”
She took it carefully and turned to her mother who hadn’t wanted him to buy it, who’d refused to take it from him. He now understood Nicole’s intensely negative attitude towards it. Butterflies were too intimately connected to the life of her daughter—a life he hadn’t shared and wasn’t intended to ever share.
“I think it will be too heavy for glue tac to hold it on the tree, Zoe,” she said with a seriously concerned look on her face. “You wouldn’t want it to fall off and break.”
Quin felt himself tensing up.
Okay, he hadn’t been a part of the tree but he’d been given no choice in Nicole’s decision to keep him ignorant of his daughter’s existence. Given the chance, he would have been here for Zoe, looking after her as best he could. To deny him a place at this point in time was being deliberately obstructive to any new beginning. If she couldn’t give this much…
“But, Mummy, we have to put it on,” Zoe insisted. “It’s my first butterfly from Daddy. Could we tie it to a branch?”
Out of the mouths of babes, Quin thought, looking at Nicole to see how she would fight the challenge from their daughter.
“That would spoil the look of it, Zoe. It’s too beautiful to put string around it. Why don’t we just put it on the windowsill and pretend it’s fluttered down to rest there?”
Zoe swung around to face the bay window and study the position. After a few moments she walked over and carefully placed the Ulysses on the sill, then stood back to gauge the effect. She slowly shook her head. “It’s not the same as being on the tree, Mummy. It looks lonely down there.”
The outcast, Quin thought grimly.
“Well, maybe your father will buy more in the future to keep it company,” Nicole answered, her eyes glittering a fierce challenge at him.
“This won’t be a one time thing, Zoe,” he quickly assured her, also notifying Nicole he was not about to go missing in the future. “But if you want the Ulysses on the tree, I’ll buy a silver chain to tie it on and make it shine even more beautifully. How about that?”
Her little face lit up with delight. “Oh, that would make it very special, Daddy!”
“Right!” He didn’t care how much Nicole might resent it. In fact, seizing opportunity rather than waiting for it seemed a very good idea. “I’ll bring the chain with me on Saturday morning and if it’s okay with your mother, we could spend the whole day together.”
“Mummy?” Zoe cried expectantly.
Nicole forced a smile for her daughter. “Okay. Now I think you should get dressed and go and have the breakfast Nanna is preparing for you.”
“Can Daddy have breakfast with me?” she asked eagerly.
“No, your father has to go to work. That’s why he’s wearing a suit. It was very good of him to come this morning especially to see you. Have you thanked him for his gift?”