'I didn't say Kirsty died in physical pain, Hal. She died in terrible agony, an agony of heart and mind you've never known. But I've known it. I felt it with her, and it was far, far worse than any physical pain. She loved you. She knew she was dying, that she was losing you for ever. She had promised me you'd never know about David, but she couldn't bear not to tell you. It was the only way that some part of her could keep hold of you. That's how deeply she loved you, Hal. She would have done anything for you, even to betraying me. You can choose not to believe. me, but that is the truth.'
His face slowly turned ashen. 'Oh, my God!' It was an appalled whisper. His hand lifted and rubbed at his eyes. When it dropped away he looked at Karen with searing torment. 'No ... she couldn't have meant that. It couldn't have been like that .. .'
'Oh, yes, it was!' Karen hurled back at him, as relentless as he had been.
He shook his head and moved blindly in his perturbation, half staggering against the wall. 'You don't understand. She said .. .' He looked back at Karen, his eyes glazed with shock. 'What have I done?' The words were more a self-castigation than a question, but Karen had an answer for him. It burst from the pain of his rejection of her an everything she had done in her love for him.
'I'll tell you what you've done. You've made me pregnant! I'm carrying your child, Hal, so you don't have to nerve yourself up to taking Kirsty's sister any more. You've succeeded in what you set out to do. It's done. Are you satisfied now?'
'No, Karen, it's not like that. You've got to listen. There's something I have to tell you.' He plunged back across the room towards her, hands outstretched in appeal.
'I've heard enough!' she said bitterly, and hit his hands away. Tears gushed into her eyes. 'Leave me alone! You don't care! It's all been revenge to you, hasn't it? Even to ... to ... oh, you are a monster! Just leave me alone. You've got what you wanted!' she wailed in uncontrollable distress and ran into the ensuite bathroom.
She locked herself in and cried her heart out. She knew the truth of what he thought of her now and it clawed through her mind again and again, shredding every illusion of a happy life with him. All this time he had seen her as a scheming actress, not a woman who had come to love him. And she had given herself to him so unreservedly. It was so shaming, the way she had laid herself bare for him to whip with his scathing cynicism. No more, she vowed with all the strength of her hurt. No more would she be a whipping boy for Hal Chissolm. He didn't want her love and she would never show it again. Never.
She was running late by the time she pulled herself together and got ready for work. Hal had left her alone. David was not in his bedroom and his discarded pyjamas indicated that he was dressed. Karen found both husband and son in the breakfast room, seated at the table. David's cereal bowl was empty, which meant he had eaten. Karen ignored Hal, just as he had ignored her at the table last night. She did not even walk into the room but spoke from the doorway.
'Come on, David, it's time to leave. Say goodbye to your father,' she ordered peremptorily.
Her stern voice startled him into obeying her immediately, and barely a minute later they were both out of the house. She turned him away from the path to the garages and hurried him out to the street, heading for the nearest bus stop.
David tugged at her hand protestingly. 'Why aren't we going in the car?'
'Because we're catching the bus from now on,' she replied in a tone which brooked no questions.
They had been standing at the bus stop for several minutes when Hal's BMW pulled up beside them. He alighted, rounded the bonnet in a few quick strides, opened the passenger door and met Karen's defiant pride with steely determination. 'Get in,'he commanded.
Before Karen could stop David he had slid his hand out of her hold and scrambled into the car. With her purpose already half defeated and conscious of the other people at the bus stop watching them curiously, Karen decided this was no place for a scene. She took the passenger seat and Hal slammed the door shut on her.
She sat staring straight ahead, stubbornly silent as he drove to the kindergarten. Hal did not speak either, and for once David had nothing to say. The atmosphere in the car was thick enough to daunt even a child, Karen thought angrily. Well, whatever Hal thought he was doing she certainly had an answer ready for him! On their arrival at the kindergarten, he held Karen's wrist tightly and told David to go inside. As soon as David was out of earshot she turned fiercely on Hal.
'Let go of me this instant! You've violated my body for the last time, Hal Chissolm. Touch me again and I'll head straight for the divorce court! I've got a better custody case now, haven't I?'
Bleak, expressionless eyes looked back at her. 'What's wrong with the Porsche?'
'I don't want your fancy car! Nor do I give a damn for your fancy house and servants. I managed perfectly well in my own little home. And you can keep your money--I supported myself and David long before you came along and I can do it again!'
Hal turned his head aside as pain spasmed across his face. He drew a deep breath and spoke haltingly, as if each word hurt him. 'Karen ... when I married you ... I made myself responsible for your support. And David's. And any children we might have. Work if you please, but don't ... don't overtax yourself when there's no need. Anything that I own is yours, without strings. I'll move to another bedroom tonight.' He pulled the car keys out of the ignition and pressed them into her hand. 'Use this car to get home. I'll hire a taxi.'
Before she could form any reply at all, he was out of the car and striding towards the telephone box on the corner. For a few moments Karen sat completely still. It was the end of their marriage. No matter that it had all been a farce anyway, she felt bereft, cold, empty.
Until she remembered the baby. Her hand moved slowly over her stomach. omewhere inside there a baby was growing. Her baby, and Hal's. She blinked back tears and got out of the car. Life went on.
CHAPTER TEN
LIFE went on, but to Karen it was utterly miserable. Her pregnancy was confirmed by her doctor, but there was no joy in it for her. No joy at home either. True to his word, Hal had moved out of their bedroom suite and Karen hated the loneliness of the huge king-size bed. No matter that she told herself that he had only been using her, she missed his warm embrace in the dark hours of the night.
And Hal had changed. He became silent and more reserved, even with David. His manner to Karen remained kind and considerate, but there was no sparkle of happiness in him. Gone were the moments of pleasure they had shared during the first six weeks of their marriage. He was still very loving to David, but in a quiet way, and when Karen was on the scene he deflected much of David's attention to her. But David could not fill the void that the separation from Hal had created. Even though the situation was mostly of her own making, Karen felt strangely deserted.