'Yes, but I think I'd rather wait until after they're born.'
'Then I'll keep it for you.'
Hal thanked him and helped Karen up out of her chair. The two obstetricians fussed around her for a few moments and somehow she managed to mouth polite goodbyes. Finally they were out of the consulting room, out of the building, and safely enclosed in Hal's car. Still Karen could not bring herself to look at Hal. She took a deep breath and screwed up her courage.
'Why did you ask that?'
'Karen ... look at me,' came the quiet command. She flicked him a look and her eyes were caught by the intensity of emotion in his. 'Are you happy about the twins?' he asked.
'Are you?'
He sighed and a smile tugged at his mouth. 'I told you, I'd love whatever we had. Now answer me.'
'I'm very happy about it.' Just the thought of her twin babies made a smile light up her face until she remembered her own question. 'You haven't answered me, Hal.'
He reached over and took her hand. 'It wasn't just to make you pregnant those first few weeks, Karen. I wanted to make love to you. And you wanted it too. I know I fouled it up and I was wrong. I knew I was wrong that morning we argued about Kirsty, but I'd said too much and hurt you too deeply.'
He dragged in a deep breath ilnd his eyes held an eloquent appeal. 'I really want this marriage of ours to work, Karen. I want to go through this pregnancy with you, be with you as much as possible. But if I stay in your bed, I don't think I can control myself for that long. I want you, Karen. Would you mind that very much?'
Hope was thundering through her heart. Her throat was very dry and she could hardly speak. 'You want me? Like this?'
He shook his head at her in incredulity. 'Don't you know you look more beautiful every day?'
'But I don't! I look terrible.'
Hal leaned forward and started the car. 'I think I'll take you home and prove that you don't look terrible!'
And there was no more discussion. Hal took her home and straight up to their bedroom. He undressed her very slowly. It was not dark, and the bright light of noon was streaming into the room. Karen could see the soft reverence in his eyes as they worshipped her swollen body and a lovely warm glow ran through her veins.
Very gently he laid her on the bed, and stripped himself of his clothes. Karen was reminded of the first time when he had stood over her, so tense with masculine aggression, but the only real similarity was his arousal. He was excited by her, and his arousal fired her even before he began kissing her breasts with exquisite tenderness. She melted under his soft caresses, and when his mouth took hers in sensual plunder, she responded with urgent passion, wanting all of him so much that she completely forgot that her body was cumbersome.
He held her back against him, caressing her into a position that eased his entry so that it almost came as a surprise when she felt him slide inside her. He used a slow rhythm which was unbelievably erotic, and again and again Karen shuddered with pleasure. His arms wrapped her body so closely to his that she could feel his muscles rippling. And his mouth grazed across her hair, her shoulders, her arms, constantly arousing a sensitivity which begged to be satisfied with more and more kisses.
Time was meaningless. She closed her eyes and surrendered herself to him, utterly and completely. She didn't care that he was only giving her physical love. It was enough for now, more than enough. And he wanted their marriage to work. He wanted to stay with her. If it could always be like this, she would not ask for more.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
THE PREGNANCY wore Karen down. Although Hal was attentive and solicitous, she could not help feeling it was only for the babies' sake. He never spoke of love--not love for her. She grew bigger with child. Hal was fascinated with her body. Every night he made a sensual ceremony of rubbing oil over her stomach, soothing the tight, stretched skin, and if he felt the babies move his eyes would sparkle with delight. His children, Karen thought with increasing despondency.
And at other times she wondered how Kirsty could have been so wrong about Hal. There was no doubt in Karen's mind now that he would have welcomed her sister's pregnancy. Kirsty had loved Hal; she must have known he would love a child. Why had she hidden David from him? Kirsty had never been cruel--selfish maybe, but never cruel. She had wanted to be first, needed to be first. Perhaps she had thought the child would come first with Hal, and she couldn't bear to be second in his affections.
Karen could understand that. There were times that she felt insanely jealous of the children she carried inside her. She desperately wanted Hal to shower his love on her in the same proportions as she wanted to shower her love on him. Only the intimacy he shared with her in the dark hours of the night gave her some outlet to her stifled emotions. And she was even deprived of that in the last couple of months of her pregnancy; Hal was too concerned about the babies' safety to risk sexual intercourse.
Those last two months were terrible. She grew huge. It was exhausting to go for short walks, let alone do the pre-natal exercises that Dr Grayson had advised. She felt cut off from Hal, cut off from playing with David, cut off from everything except her own grotesque physical self. She was totally miserable and longed for the pregnancy to be over.
When it was still two weeks short of her full term, Dr Grayson suggested she be admitted to hospital. But Karen refused. As lonely and depressed as she felt at home, it was better to be there with Hal and David than in some impersonal hospital room, waiting to be visited. Hal tried to persuade her into going to hospital, but she burst into tears, convinced that he didn't want her any more, that only the babies mattered to him. Hal quickly backtracked, saying she could do as she wished, but he was clearly worried.
Karen's back ached, but she said nothing, not wanting to suffer Hal's concern. Every time he frowned at her she wanted to cry. The first bad pain came three days after Dr Grayson's suggestion. She and Hal had just finisned dinner and she bit her lip to stifle a little moan of agony.
'Anything wrong?' asked Hal, anxiety sharpening his tone.
'No. Just uncomfortable,' she half lied.
They went to bed. Karen lay awake, waiting, watching the clock. Another pain sliced through her body. It came almost an hour after the first. The next one surprised her forty minutes later. Then thirtyfive ... thirty ... thirty ... thirty ... regular contractions. By two o'clock in the morning she no longer had any doubt about what was happening. She woke Hal.
Almost instantly he was up on his elbow. 'What is it?'
'I think we'd better go to the hospital.'
'Contractions?'
'Coming regularly. Every half hour.'
'Hell! You should have woken me before!' He was out of bed and scrabbling with the telephone in a panicky rush.