Snapping myself back to my present dilemma, I trained myself to keep gazing at the clock, concentrating on projecting my frustrations and anger towards him.
“What the hell do you think you’re trying to accomplish here, Reiss? You can’t simply walk in here when I’m entertaining. Ashton will start getting suspicious, and that’s the last thing I need—more bloody drama!”
“Fuck. I don’t give an arse about that stupid wanker. I surely don’t bloody care about what he thinks, for that matter. Who. Bloody. Cares?” Reiss came closer to me, seething with anger, simmering with undeniable frustration. “Let him think whatever he fancies—you’re mine, and he should know that you’re with me. When are you going to tell him? You have to break it to him soon, Ava.”
He finally reached my side before he stepped a hairsbreadth away, his lips touching the back of my ear, imprinting it with his love. “I was so bloody miserable when I left earlier. For hours, I racked my brain to find answers, and I couldn’t. But at the end of the day, the truth surfaced, telling me I was the only one who’d made love to you. It’s me you chose, not him, Ava.”
He gathered air into his lungs, emphasizing the shakiness of his breath. “It’s such heartache to be away from you this long. Our argument earlier on—whatever you said—I forgive you, but you must end this, Ava. You must break the news to him, or this will never be resolved.”
“Break it to him?” I gasped, baffled as I spun to face him. “As in officially kaput?”
Didn’t he see this wasn’t going anywhere? Why couldn’t he just give this up and leave it be like he had with the rest of the women he had slept with. Sure, he loved me, but love … love could be replaced. Well, it could, couldn’t it? Why else would the divorce rate be so nauseatingly high?
“What else is there?” He looked entirely broken, even a little withdrawn, but he still kept on fighting, unwavering from his eternal vows of love he had declared earlier today.
It gutted me to see him this way, as if the light had gone out of his eyes; however, I was almost assured he’d fully recover given the next woman who was appeasing to his eyes and his needs in the bedroom.
As for me, playtime was over. I had known the moment Ashton had appeared I had to do what I had to do. I should’ve cut ties before this, before it had gotten deeper than I had expected.
“Reiss, you’ve mistaken me—I can’t.” My voice broke as I stared at him, frowning while at the same time smiling as I tried to fight between what I thought was for the best and what my senses thought were satisfying. “Ashton … how do I explain it? It’s complex. You see, he and I…”
The air to my lungs momentarily halted because his face held that look that said he was afraid of what I was about to say next. The look that told me he felt helpless stopping me from breaking his heart. He stood there, immobilized, as I was about to butcher his heart and eviscerate his dreams of the future along with his proposal of marriage. I saw it all—the reflection of fear in his emerald eyes as it mirrored my very own.
“He and I are compatible in ways that you and I aren’t. Besides, we have things in common—similar interests and beliefs. I have nothing with you, Reiss. There’s nothing there for us. Don’t you see that?” I persisted, hoping he’d hate me more. “Let it go. You have to let me go.”
He took a sharp intake of breath like he was being cut alive. His body language told me he was already broken, his mind had already understood, but his heart kept on beating, fighting for survival.
“Ava, I promise you I’ll be smart. I’ll make a huge amount of money so you won’t be embarrassed of me. Don’t end it—I beg you …” Hot tears fell down his face before his arms swallowed me, hugging me for dear life. “Please … don’t leave me, Ava. I love you. I love you so bloody much that I’m willing to be someone who would be worthy of you. Let me prove it to you, just don’t end things with me.”
“I’m sorry …” Hell was where I was going when I died because Heaven didn’t welcome selfish, despicable beings like me. “But that’s never going to happen.”
He halfway yanked me off his body, searching my face for answers. “Why not? You don’t even bloody love the bloke, or you wouldn’t be seeking me almost every night for the past eight weeks or so. Have you forgotten that you gave yourself to me? Have you forgotten that you gave me your virginity?” He was almost yelling at me. “Did that mean nothing at all?”
This is it, I bleakly acknowledged as I stood on the precipice, knowing that, whatever I was going to say next, I could never take it back.
Hardening my will and resolve, I kept to my decision, lying to myself and to his face. “It’s just sex; it’s nothing personal.”
That truly got him. He was beyond offended and appalled at what I had just declared.
“Not personal? Seriously?” He gripped my arms, shaking me lightly as his eyes thundered before me. “What are you, a whore? Might as well open your legs then and let me shag you for the last time. I’ll show you how I shag a disrespectful, lying cunt!”
My palm connected to his cheek in a swift movement. “Don’t you dare call me a whore!” I gritted out, reddening as I shook with anger from his harsh choice of words. “You’re nothing but a low-class guy whose one ambition in life is to use your charms to get someone with money. Well, your luck ran out with me, so you better find another victim to use and abuse because it surely isn’t me any longer. You’re a pathetic, disrespectful bastard.” I loathed him like I had never hated anyone in my life. “You fucking disgust me!”
My drastic reaction ignited the beast in him. For a second, I thought he was truly going to deliver what he had said a mere moment before. Our eyes battled as my mind imagined him taking me anywhere he wanted, plowing deeply into me as he punished me. When his eyes dropped to my lips, I was immediately transported back to the very first time we had kissed, where he had seemed tempted yet reluctant to execute the need to kiss me. He had been breathing raggedly, as had I.
Our argument dulled in the back of my head as the acute sensation between my thighs took precedence over common sense. He was going to kiss me. I knew it in every fiber of me that he was going to devour me alive, and I would enjoy every single step of his hungry possession. His gaze indicated how much he wanted me before it flickered to my own and then dropped lower to my cleavage. Then his licentious eyes travelled back to my lips in the slowest, most agonizing moment of my life. He then dropped his lids before pressing his lips together, as if committing to a prayer before spinning on his heels and walking away from me.