Unconsciously, my forehead touched hers. The sudden effect of her skin and her smell brought out sadness that I couldn’t explain. Yet, there I was, full of melancholy. “How could it be over, when I barely had you? We’d barely even begun…”
“No.”
I felt her breath against my lips. She was so close, yet so f**king far. I was having a hard time reaching her. “Then tell me what to do because I’ll do it.”
Stella moved her face to the side, tears freely flowing before she tested how far I’d go to get her back. “Love me.”
Love. Did it always come back to that? The word sent me to Heaven and Hell. It shot me into darkness. For years, I was imprisoned in its cells—it’s begrudging grasp—but Stella had made it all go away. So if it was what she was after… then I had no choice. “All right, if that’s all it takes for you to come back, then I love you.”
Stella’s palm flew and connected to my cheek before she pushed against my chest, making me back off. “Do you think this is a f**king joke?” she hissed like a banshee, eyes wide and ready to draw blood.
What the bloody hell? “It’s what you wanted!” I shot back, rubbing the spot where she had slapped. “It was what you asked, wasn’t it?” I frowned, baffled at her reaction.
“It is, but I want it to be real, Cal!” she raged on. “So don’t insult me by your half-hearted attempt of pretending that you do! Not only is it insulting, but it’s downright humiliating.” She sniffed. “We both know that you’re not capable of giving me that. That’s why we’ll never work. I want to be loved, too. That’s not so much to ask, is it?”
No, of course not. She deserved everything… but I could give her everything except for the love that I didn’t feel in my heart. “Stella…”
“Please. Leave.”
Hope was diminishing before me quickly and I was grasping at threads. “Stella, listen to me please.”
She shook her head, unwilling. “No, Callum. This is where it ends.” She strode towards her bed and sat down with her back to me. “If you care for me at all, if you wish me happiness, you’re going to sign those papers so we can both move forward.”
I growled my frustration, past knowing what to do any longer. Divorcing Stella wasn’t on the agenda. “There’s no f**king talk of divorce,” I thundered out, meaning every word of it. “I’d rather rot than let you marry another man.” If she wanted me out of her life, unbinding herself legally from me wasn’t an option.
“Have it your way, just get the f**k out. I don’t want you here.”
Right, she was ejecting me out of her home. “We have to finish this.” I tried to reason, however she was beyond my reach.
“Get. The. Fuck. Out.”
Stella wanted me gone. Out of her life. What more was there to do when she simply was on a mission to find herself another man? If she truly loved me at all, she wouldn’t push me out knowing very well that I wanted her in my life. It counted for something, but to her, it wasn’t enough.
I wasn’t enough.
My eyes gathered her sobbing form. Each racking sound gutted me inside out. With a deep breath, I silently bid her goodbye. I wished her the best and hoped that she would find the kind of happiness and love that she longed for so much.
I suppose I should be glad that I wasn’t in love with her because if I was, I was sure another problem would arise that would separate us. It was a good thing then, wasn’t it?
At the end of the day, we saved ourselves from wasting time on each other.
Each step I took dragged me back into the luring pull of the darkness, back into its familiar embrace.
I was a man who had everything… and yet, I felt like I was worth nothing.
Just like old times, I mused when I saw a missed call from Andrès Franco. “Welcome back to your old life, Callum,” I muttered as I dialed the call back button.
Chapter 34
Stella
After that colossal confrontation I’d had with Callum, I decided to stop dating.
Before, it had been great to think that I could easily forget him by seeing what was out there, but who was I kidding? It wasn’t going to happen any time soon.
Even Clive, I really liked him. If the time came that I was ready to date, I might give it another try with him, but as for now, I would remain all on my lonesome.
So here I was, finishing up my breakfast on a Saturday while listening to Rachmaninoff as I gathered the fresh blooms I had purchased at the shop earlier this morning, when I heard the buzz of the doorbell.
Striding towards the intercom, I pushed the button. “Who is it?”
“There’s a delivery for Ms. Von Berg.”
Okay? I thought as I pressed to let the man into the building.
The package was from Callum.
With shaky fingers, I opened it with my heart lodged in my throat. All the time, I kept thinking what was in it.
The present contained a large, heart-shaped diamond and ruby pendant with a thin gold chain. It was beautiful, don’t get me wrong—but why a necklace? My question was soon answered when I opened the handwritten letter it came with.
It is exactly a week from since I saw you last…
You asked for my love and I couldn't give it to you.
I wished I could take out my heart and hand it to you so I could prove my worth, I would gladly do so, but since that’s asking for the impossible, I’m all but incapable of being worthy of you.
So here’s an emblem of my heart. Keep it with you. Keep it safe. It may be cold and hard from the surface, but it never weakens.
It is forever withstanding and forever it remains. I’m gifting it to you, so it shall be forever yours.
With this, maybe it might just bring you everything you’ve been wishing for.
Best,
Callum
“Oh God.” I choked back a sob as my eyes blurred at the words he had written me.
His words were powerful, heart twisting and blatantly sad because it seemed like he really wanted to… but simply couldn’t.
I stared at the deep crimson pendant and kissed it before curling up and crying my heart out. How could I stop loving a man who was willing to give up his own heart simply so he could prove that he was serious and worthy of me?
It was due to my own selfishness that we were both miserable, yet even racked with this all-consuming pain, I wanted—yearned—for his love. That was the only way I could be back in his life, I wouldn’t settle for anything less.