She swayed as if his words had delivered a physical blow.
“Don’t say that,” she said, shaking her head for emphasis. “I’m so furious with you. I just don’t want to hear it.”
Her eyes flashed, and yeah, there was fury there but he also saw desire. The same hunger that held him in a tight grip. “I get it. You’re mad. But mad tells me you still care. If you didn’t, that anger would have been gone a long time ago.”
She bit down on her bottom lip but she didn’t deny it. That was enough for him. Matt couldn’t stand it anymore. He’d been away from her too long, had wanted her too much. In a few long strides, he was standing in front of her. Then he took hold of her shoulders, pulled her in close and kissed her.
For one split second, he thought she’d pull away, but that moment passed in a heartbeat and then she was leaning into him, kissing him back as if this kiss meant life itself. His tongue tangled with hers and hot shafts of pleasure shot through him, dazzling his brain, enflaming his body.
Her hands on his back felt like live wires, searing his skin right through the fabric of his suit jacket. Lifting one hand, he pushed his fingers through her soft, silky hair and relished the slick feel of those curls sliding across his skin.
He would have kissed her all night, would have given up food, water and even air to breathe if he could keep his mouth fused to hers. But all too soon that kiss ended and she was pulling away, stepping out of his arms and looking up at him through wide, shocked eyes.
“I can’t believe you did that,” she whispered.
“I didn’t do it alone,” he reminded her.
Shaking her head, she said, “That was just instinct.”
“Well, let’s hear it for instincts then.”
She laughed but there was no humor in the sound. Lifting one hand to her mouth, she whispered, “We can’t do this.”
“We were meant to do this,” he countered, his voice low, deep and filled with the same need he could see was nearly strangling her.
“If that were true,” she said, “you wouldn’t have disappeared for nine months.”
“Yeah.” He pushed one hand through his hair, blew out a breath and said, “I should’ve called. Should have talked to you before I left.”
“I agree.”
His head snapped up, his gaze fixed on hers. “It was you, you know. You’re why I left so suddenly.”
“You’re blaming me?” He heard the outrage in her voice and couldn’t blame her for it.
“Of course not. I’m just telling you. I left because of the promotion, the L.A. job. But I left so quickly because of what you were making me feel.”
Shaking her head, she wrapped her arms around her middle and hung on. “Panic?” she asked lightly.
His laugh was short and harsh. “Maybe a little, though I don’t like admitting that out loud.”
“Why?” she demanded. “I’ve waited nine months to have that question answered, Matt. Why would you leave like that? No word. No nothing. You disappeared.”
“I thought it would be easier on you—”
She laughed, dismissing his words. That told him she wouldn’t settle for less than the truth—so he would give her what he could for now.
“Fine. I wanted to make it easier on me.” Scowling now, he scrubbed both hands across his face. He wasn’t ready to tell her everything—what she’d made him feel before and what he was feeling now. So he looked into her eyes again and said, “But now I’m back.”
“Temporarily.”
“And I had to see you. Try to explain.”
She swallowed hard. “Meaning what exactly?”
“Meaning that night with you threw me. I wasn’t expecting it. I thought distance would help. But I couldn’t get my mind off you,” he said, moving closer. “Every night I dreamed of you. Every day I thought of you. Damn it, Kayla, you’re inside me and I had to come back to tell you that.”
She took a shallow breath but didn’t look away from him. “I still don’t understand why you left without so much as a goodbye. You hurt me.”
He winced. “I know.”
“I won’t be hurt by you again.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Then leave.”
“I can’t,” he said, taking another step closer and celebrating internally when she didn’t move away. “And you don’t really want me to.”
“Yes, I—” She broke off when he reached out and pulled her into him. “No, I really don’t.”
Five
“That’s what I needed to hear.” He kissed her again, pouring into that kiss every emotion, every ounce of hunger that had hounded him for the past nine months. And she moved into him, opening for him, leaning closer still, wrapping her arms around his neck and meeting his passion with her own.
Just like before, she staggered him. The connection. The intensity of the fire that leaped up between them threatened to engulf him and this time, he welcomed it. This is what he had been missing for far too long. This place. This passion.
This woman.
He swept her up into his arms, never breaking the kiss that held them bound by breath and soul. Carrying her through the small house to her bedroom, he set her on her feet and in seconds they were na**d and falling onto the brass bed covered in a soft, silky duvet and a mountain of pillows.
Holding her close, he rolled her across the bed and she went with him willingly, eagerly, entangling her legs with his. Her hands slid across his skin as he explored every inch of her body. Heartbeats thundered and each breath was a sigh sifting into the quiet. There was an old clock on the wall and the steady tick of seconds passing pounded out around them like a drumbeat.
He broke free of the kiss long enough to say, “Please tell me you still have condoms in that bedside drawer.”
She pushed her hair out of her eyes, looked up at him and nodded. “I kept them.”
“Grateful to hear it.” He reached for one, tore it open and sheathed himself before turning back to her. “I’ve missed you, Kayla.”
“I missed you, too, Matt. So much.” She reached up and cupped his face in her palms. “I still don’t know why you left, but right now, it doesn’t matter.”
Guilt pinged in his chest, for the pain he’d caused her and for holding himself back from her still, but he ignored it. Now wasn’t the time. Now was for the two of them. To reconnect. To reestablish what they’d found that night so many months ago. What he’d so stupidly thrown away.