Staffan frowned. “I give up. What is it?”
She whispered, “I, umm, saw this video online, and it was the most popular video this week.”
“Okay…”
“It, umm, has lots of really beautiful girls.”
He tipped her chin up. “Stop beating around the bush, H.”
“It had a horse.”
“So?” Then his eyes widened. “Fuck, H!” A choked laugh escaped him. “This was indeed very impressive.”
She muttered, “But you sound more amused than impressed, though.”
It was true, but she didn’t need to know that. It had been impressive in a way. Weird – but he was going to give her A for effort.
“Are we really going to watch it?” She tried not to sound queasy at the thought. She had nothing against people who got off stuff like it, but it just wasn’t her thing.
“Err, no.” He tried not to sound uncomfortable even though it was how he felt about the idea. After all, he had his own reputation to hold as well.
“Then…what will we watch?”
Just as he was about to answer, Staffan suddenly remembered the package he had taken home with him, something he had his PA track down the moment he realized he wouldn’t be able to get back to her on time. “I have something for you.”
Saffi appeared surprised then hesitant. “For me?”
“Yes.” He gently lifted her off his lap and placed her on the couch. “I’ll be right back.”
Saffi said promptly, “I’ll be right back, too. I need to go to the bathroom.”
They went their separate ways. She did her business as quickly as she could and on her way out she caught her reflection on the mirror. Oh my God – was that really her, Saffi March, wearing Staffan Aehrenthal’s shirt?
Gah!
It was so surreal she dashed to the bedroom, grabbed her phone and took a photo of herself. It was a photo that she’d never let anyone see. She just wanted to have something tangible to hold on to when the weekend was over.
When she went back to the living room, Staffan held a brown package in his hand.
Saffi beamed, so happy that he wasn’t giving her clothes or jewelry she could have hugged him. If he had, it would have disappointed her a lot since those felt too impersonal for her.
“What is it?” she asked as she took the package from him. She took her time taking the wrapping off.
“You’ll see soon---” He grinned when she squeaked in excitement as the entire wrapping fell from her hands, revealing what was inside.
“Oh. My. God.” She held the box like it was made of glass.
“Does that mean you like it?” he asked casually even though he already knew she would probably think he was God for giving it to her. Those months of stalking – no, wait, he meant the months he had spent infrequently checking her Facebook and other online social accounts – had finally amounted to something.
She slowly opened the miniature treasure chest, which had the words ‘eat me’ engraved on its tiny latch. It turned out to be a musical box, with an exquisitely carved replica of the very best scenes of Alice in Wonderland. And right at the center was Alice herself, dancing with the Mad Hatter and the March Hare. “Why did you give me something like this?”
Staffan had a ready answer for that one since he was nothing but thorough. “You reminded me of the fictional character Alice. Sometimes, when you’re alone, you look like you think you’re in Wonderland.”
She looked at him, and the stars were back in her eyes. Again.
Fuck, he thought. But this time Staffan wasn’t sure if those stars terrified him because they were there or because he would really do something to get rid of them.
Saffi said shakily, “I am in Wonderland.” It was such a mushy thing to say, but she just couldn’t help it. That was how she felt. She shyly went to Staffan and tiptoed to kiss his lips. “And you are the one that makes my world wonder---”
Whatever she had to say was lost in his kiss, and then he was carrying her back to the bedroom. They made love again, this time both of them taking it excruciatingly slow, their bodies shuddering in pleasure as they came at the same time, Saffi’s cries swallowed by his hungry kiss.
Afterwards, they talked, about anything and everything, and when she couldn’t help it anymore she said, “Can I ask you something?”
“No.”
She persisted, “I just want to know---”
“No.”
Her face fell.
Staffan sighed, unable to resist Saffi when she was looking at him again with those sad puppy eyes of hers. “What is it?”
“You’ll really never sing for free?” Saffi instinctively knew it wasn’t just because of the money, and those same instincts told her it was something she had to know.
Staffan became quiet for a long time, and Saffi tried not to squirm. When she couldn’t bear it any longer, she blurted out, “I put my foot in my mouth again, didn’t I?” She didn’t wait for an answer. “I’m sorry. I know it’s none of my business---”
“Sssh.”
She shut up.
“I’ve never told this to anyone.”
Her eyes widened.
“When Chloe and I broke up, we had a major fight – and we said things just to hurt the other.”
She had a very bad feeling about this all of a sudden. “Staffan---”
“She told me that on her birthday, when she asked me to sing in her party, she slipped out to meet with her lover and f**ked him while I entertained her guests like a goddamn fool.” He looked down at her. “So now you know.”
Her eyes filled up with tears. “I wish I didn’t.”
His lips twisted. “Not the strong smart man you thought I was, is that it?”
She hurriedly shook her head. “Worse. You’re so much more wonderful---”
Unable to bear the stars in her eyes because he knew he didn’t deserve it, Staffan cut her words off with another kiss.
Saffi closed her eyes. It was about to be wonderful again.
~~~
When Saffi woke up, early morning sunlight had strayed into the room. She stayed in the circle of Staffan’s arms, allowing herself just a few precious moments of enjoying the sight of his sleeping face, which looked younger with the frown lines smoothed out. It made her think how so seldom she caught him smiling, much less laughing. In fact, the only times he did so was when she had done something frightfully foolish or unfortunately awkward.