Right up until he’d said the dreaded M-word, she’d thought that perhaps she could have the sex and the friendship. Now, she knew deep down she couldn’t have both, that she would have to choose. So they would be friends, old cronies together.
But what if Jake married someone else?
She could maybe live with the lovers who came and went from his life. But what if he finally committed to one woman? She’d believed he’d never marry, but what if he forgot to use a condom again? And got some woman pregnant? Not her, because she wasn’t. No way. Couldn’t be. But some other woman. She’d hardly want Kim in her home on a Thursday night to watch movies with her husband.
Everything was falling apart.
“How will Jake feel about going back to being just friends?” Jess asked.
“Why would he care? He has women falling over him. What’s one more?”
Jess shook her head. “He does care.”
How had things become so complicated? All she’d wanted was a little fun sex. Instead, she’d gotten a goddamn marriage proposal.
“Really across his desk?” Jess couldn’t seem to get her head around that bit. How surprising. She grinned. “What if it had been the day for the window cleaners?”
“Piss off.”
…
Kim woke the next morning with a headache and a sense of foreboding. Somewhere way above her head, Jake would be in his penthouse. Probably not still in bed—he was a disgustingly early riser. Being married to him would probably be a nightmare.
Though no doubt, she’d be getting up to see to the baby anyway.
Shut up.
She wasn’t pregnant.
She hadn’t had the courage to air that particular problem with Jessica or the fact that Jake had suggested they get married. He’d obviously felt guilty about forgetting the condom.
So from now on, she’d give up the idea of sex with Jake, which had never been a viable option, just a momentary aberration best forgotten.
Obviously, Steve was also out. But how about that activist from the party, Nick Winters, who’d called her at the office? He seemed nice…well, maybe nice wasn’t the right word. More like dangerous in a sexy sort of way, but she could see herself going out with him.
No, she’d find an alternative for sex—or maybe buy herself a vibrator—and she and Jake could go back to being friends. His friendship was worth far more than a few mind-blowing orgasms.
She never understood why Jake had befriended her five years ago. He’d come into her life at a time when she’d desperately needed a friend. Nineteen years old, only six months into her marriage, and already she’d known that she’d made the biggest mistake of her life. The smooth charmer she’d married had metamorphosed overnight into a control freak with a drinking habit, a vicious temper, and absolutely no interest in her whatsoever.
She’d been confused and scared. Terrified of what she was turning into. There was a dark place inside her. Present since her mother’s death, it had lain dormant waiting for something to trigger it into life. Now it was awake, and she’d battled with despair every day. Was that how her mother had felt?
But she’d also been angry. At herself mainly, partly for being so naive and unaware of Michael’s real nature, but even more so by her inability to stand up for herself after he revealed his true colors. She’d known she should pack her bags and leave him, but she didn’t know where to go. She had no friends in London, and she was convinced her father wouldn’t welcome her back. He might love her, but he also wanted to control her and they hadn’t parted on the best of terms.
She’d felt totally isolated until Jake had appeared, seemingly out of nowhere. He’d taken her under his protective wing, made her feel safe, driven back the darkness, and given her a place to flee when she needed to get away from her husband. Jake had never judged her and had given her the strength and confidence to end her farce of a marriage. Afterward, he had done just about everything for her, found her somewhere to live, even given her a job, a whole new life.
Now she was about to blow it.
What she needed to do was convince Jake that he really didn’t want sex with her again and that he certainly didn’t want to marry her. It shouldn’t be too hard, and she had come up with a plan after the sixth or so cocktail. She knew the type of women Jake usually went for—cool, understated elegance…sophisticated. She’d make herself the complete opposite—which shouldn’t be too difficult—so no way would she appeal to him. She knew the look she was going for—total kick-ass chick.
She had work this morning, and she had to face Jake, if only to prove she could. But her afternoon was free and she’d booked an appointment at a hair salon—she was going to look so good, or so bad, depending on your viewpoint. This evening there was a leaving do for one of the guys at work. She’d reveal her new self there.
Perhaps then, Jake would realize that she was a much more suitable friend than she was a lover…or a wife.
But first, there was something she needed to do. Something she’d dreamed of doing for a long time.
Chapter Seven
Jake woke with a raging hard-on.
He considered doing something about it himself, and then had a better idea. Yesterday, Kim had run from him so fast after he’d made his strategically disastrous move of suggesting they get married. He’d decided to back off and give her time to get used to the idea. But by now she must have calmed down.
He’d bet she was lying below him right this minute. Probably thinking about him and how good they’d been together, maybe even touching herself.
His hard-on gave a twitch. It liked the idea.
Should he head down there? Offer his assistance? They often went running in the mornings together. He could pretend he thought they’d arranged it. And if she didn’t want to go running they could…
He rolled out of bed and pulled on sweats and sneakers in record time and was heading down the stairs within minutes.
If they did go for a run, maybe they’d get back all hot and sweaty and find her water was off. Hell, he was the owner of the building; surely he could arrange a little thing like that. He’d offer to let her use his shower—a nice friendly gesture. Then he could offer to help her…
He was getting ahead of himself.
As he came out of the stairwell on Kim’s floor and rounded the corner, her door opened. He stepped back instinctively as she emerged from her apartment. It didn’t look like she was running; she wore her usual work gear of khaki combats and a T-shirt.