I slid out from underneath the sheet covering me and lay down next to him, pulling the blanket over me. In the dim light of his bedroom, I saw the confusion in his eyes. His skin felt heated to the touch as I curled up against his body, resting my head against his shoulder, and everything about him felt hard against me.
Looking up at him, I asked quietly, “Is this okay or do you want me to go back up there?”
He said nothing, but shook his head. Unsure if that meant no it wasn’t okay or no he didn’t want me to go back up into the bed, I stayed right there next to him, loving the feeling of safety he gave me.
“Kane, are you going to make me stay as a bartender or will you let me dance?”
I felt his chest expand beneath my head. He held his breath for a moment, and then let the air out slowly. I waited for him to answer, to say something, but he remained silent next to me.
“It’s just that…I really need the money. That’s why I went to The Carousel Club. I’m staying with Gemma, but I can’t expect to stay there forever. I need money to get my own place. If you let me dance, then I’d be able to afford an apartment.”
Stopping for a moment, I gave him a chance to speak, but he said nothing. He wasn’t going to let me dance. I knew it. Why couldn’t he have just left me at The Carousel Club? I’d been sure that he’d want something from me, but it seemed like he had no interest in that either.
If meeting my basic needs wasn’t a good enough reason, then maybe a more sentimental excuse could work. “I want to make enough money to help my mom too. She’s sick and lives on what the government gives her, but it’s not enough. If I had more money, I could give her some so she’d have a better life.”
I looked up at him, afraid he’d fallen asleep, but his eyes were open and watching me. Did he want me to come right out and say I’d do anything he wanted to dance at his club? Was that it?
Sitting up, I gathered all my courage and quietly said, “Kane, I’ll do whatever you want to dance here.”
His blue eyes widened for just a moment at my offer, and I waited for him to tell me what he expected in return for hiring me. Instead, he simply stared, making me even more uneasy than I’d been before.
“I mean it, Kane. Whatever you want, I’ll do.”
Still not a word from him. He wasn’t going to make this easy, was he? At least I didn’t get the sense that he was a violent man, even with his size. Closing my eyes, I began to unbutton his shirt and finally blurted out the truth. “I mean, if sleeping with you is what you require for me to dance, just tell me. I’ll do it.”
As the seconds ticked by, he didn’t move. I looked down to see him staring up at me with hurt in his eyes. What had I done to make that happen? I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t figure this man out. So much bigger than me, he made me feel protected instead of frightened, like I was used to with men. He said next to nothing, and now after I’d offered to sleep with him, thinking that’s what he wanted since he’d dragged me back to this place and held me here, he looked hurt by my offer.
What the fuck was with this guy?
Reaching out, he pulled me down next to him and wrapped his strong arms around my shoulders, silently holding me as the purest feeling of security washed over me. Unsure of what was happening, I whispered, “I’m sorry if that offended you. I didn’t mean to. I just assumed since you brought me here…”
“I brought you here because you deserve better than The Carousel Club.”
“Not everybody can get better, Kane.”
He tightened his hold around me, pressing my body to his. “You can.”
We lay there for a long time saying nothing until he broke the silence with a question. “What happened to your hair, Abbi?”
I hid my face in his muscular chest, embarrassed by how I knew I looked. My long blond hair, the part of me I loved the most, was gone, and all that was left in its place was a hacked up mess. I’d forgotten that, but now I cringed at how terrible I must have looked to him. I struggled to find the words to explain what Aaron had done to me, but then I felt the light touch of Kane’s fingers slowly stroking my hair. Closing my eyes, I let the gentleness of his caress into me.
“My ex-boyfriend did this,” I explained, ashamed that I’d let Aaron hurt me like that. “He was angry that I left, and he held me down and cut off my hair. I bought a wig so I’d look like I used to since I knew no one would want me to work for them looking like this.”
In a low voice that made me think he was angry, he asked, “Why do you let men treat you like that?”
Fuck. I began to think I liked it better when Kane didn’t talk since when he finally said something, I had no idea how to answer. I didn’t know why my boyfriends hit or why I let them. I just knew men always hurt.
“I told you. Some people can’t get better.”
His fingers slid down to the ends of my hair and across my neck over and over, like he was trying to smooth away the anger that had caused me to look like this. It made me feel safe and loved. I closed my eyes, but somewhere in the back of my mind I waited for it to stop as all good things did in my life. He’d stop and then he’d become hurtful and angry with me. I’d do something that upset him, and he’d hit me or choke me.
As I waited for him to get to that point, I felt him press his lips to the top of my head in a soft kiss. Then he whispered, “People will continue to hurt you as long as you let them. Don’t let them.”
I pulled away and leaned on my elbow. Staring down into his eyes, I asked, “Are you going to hurt me? You basically kidnapped me and brought me here. And look at you. You’re over twice my size and much stronger than me.”
“I don’t hit women,” he bit out angrily.
His anger unnerved me, and I quickly moved to change the conversation. “So no girlfriend? I expect if you had one she wouldn’t like you keeping me here.”
“No girlfriend,” he said quietly in his raspy voice that now sounded unbelievably sexy.
“Why not? You’re a good looking guy, and I bet lots of women here at the club would love to get their hands on you.”
“Haven’t found anyone I want, I guess.”
I couldn’t tell if that was a lie or the truth. All I knew was he didn’t seem interested in me. I could understand that. I wasn’t blind. I knew what he saw. All the better. I didn’t need a boyfriend now anyway, no matter how much I liked the feel of his arms around me.