“I know. That was one of the many mistakes he made, Kane, but I think it’s about time I told you. You weren’t one of those mistakes.”
We stood there not saying a thing, me because I didn’t know what to say to the woman I’d believed always hated my very existence, and her because I had a feeling now that she could accept me I was more like a stranger to her than ever before.
Alexandria gave me a smile and walked back toward the kitchen, and for a moment I thought about the father I’d never known and all those years growing up hearing the terrible things my mother had said about Cassian March and his wife. After all this time, I could finally say I knew she’d been wrong.
I made my way up the stairs to Abbi’s room at the far end of the house. My hand clutching the roses’ stems cramped from how tightly I gripped them. Her room was empty, but I saw the kitten sitting on the bed all curled up into a little ball. My eyes scanned the porch for any sign of Abbi, but she wasn’t there either.
Angel’s purring made me look over toward her, and I saw underneath her lay a sheet of paper folded in half. Scooping her up, I dropped the flowers on the bed and held her to my chest, nuzzling her fur.
“What are you and Abbi hiding there?”
As she kneaded my shoulder, I opened up the note and read what Abbi had written.
Dear Kane,
By the time you get this letter, I’ll be gone so I want to make sure this makes sense. It’s been a long wait for us to be together, and in that time I’ve missed you so much. I know you deserved to hear me tell you all of this in person, but it’s better this way.
I’ve brought you nothing but trouble since I came into your life. Gemma told me you’ve never been arrested or even in a fight in all the time she’s known you, but now in the span of just a few months you’ve done all these terrible things and I don’t think it’s your demons.
I think it’s me.
I don’t know what it is about me that brings trouble, but I love you too much to see you suffer anymore because of me. You deserve so much more than what I can give you.
I never meant for any of this to happen to you. All I ever wanted was someone to love who wouldn’t hurt me, and you’ve been that and so much more. But now I’m hurting you, and I can’t do that to you anymore. I love you too much.
Please don’t come after me. It’s best this way. You deserve to have that life you and Holly dreamed of, and you can’t if I’m around. I love you.
Abbi
My hands began to shake as I read Abbi’s letter again, still not believing the words she’d written. No. This couldn’t be goodbye. We’d been through all that shit and misery just to come through it and not be together?
No. I couldn’t let that happen.
I sat down on her bed and tried to figure out what to do. She was gone and I had no idea where she could be. Pregnant, alone…what if she got hurt? What if that asshole ex-boyfriend found her again? Where could she be? I had to find her.
My mind raced. She couldn’t have gotten too far on foot. Was she even on foot? Where was Gemma? Gemma must have taken her somewhere. Fucking Gemma! Did Alexandria know? Was that why she stopped me downstairs?
I hurriedly placed Angel on the bed and ran to the porch to see if Abbi was still close by. Fuck! I looked out and only saw water. My gut felt like someone was ripping me apart. Where was she? I had to find her.
“Abbi!” I yelled so loud my lungs hurt. “Abbi! Where are you?”
I yelled until I couldn’t anymore. I turned back into her room and Alexandria stood in the doorway. I saw it in her eyes. She knew something and wasn’t telling me.
“Where is she?”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
Holding Abbi’s letter up, I shook my head as I felt the anger rise in me. This woman was keeping me from the woman I loved. I didn’t care why. I just knew she was in my way.
“Fine. I don’t have time to fuck around with you. But if I find out you had any part in why she left—if you turned her against me—I’ll find a way to make you pay. I don’t give a damn whose mother you are.”
I stuffed Abbi’s letter into my pocket and went for the door, but Alexandria stopped me and placed her hand on my forearm. “Stop. Let her be for a little while. She’s not in danger.”
“You know where she is? Tell me. Now.”
“She’s just confused, Kane. She thinks she’s the reason you do the things you do.”
This woman stood between me and my happiness, and every second I wasted with her was another second I didn’t get to spend with Abbi. “Alexandria, I’m going to give you about three seconds to tell me where she is.”
“Kane, she’s afraid and doesn’t know what to do. Let her have a little time.”
“She’s had six weeks to realize she doesn’t love me anymore. Time isn’t something that works in my favor.”
“She thinks she’s ruined your life.”
“Why? Because you sat here for over a month and filled her head with how much she should hate me?”
Alexandria frowned and shook her head. “I meant what I said downstairs. I’m sorry you didn’t get to know your father, Kane. You deserved more than just money from him. If you had known him, maybe you wouldn’t be like you are.”
“This has nothing to do with who my father was,” I said as a lump formed in my throat. I couldn’t handle this on top of losing Abbi. “I can’t spend the rest of my life apologizing for being born and being the child no one wanted. I don’t want my son or daughter to feel that way. I have to find Abbi, and you can either step aside so I can get past you or stand in my way and deal with my demons, which at the moment can think of nothing else but finding the woman I love. Your choice.”
She stared up at me for a long moment with a look in her eyes that told me she was deciding what to do, but then without another word she stepped aside and let me by. I gave her one last chance to tell me where Abbi was. One last chance to be something other than the person who’d always hated me.
Stopping in front of her, I asked, “Will you please tell me where she is, if you know?”
“I can’t. I promised her I wouldn’t.”
“Why? Do you hate me that much that you want to see my one chance for happiness gone?”
“I don’t hate you, Kane. If anything, I’ve grown to think of you as another one of my sons because of the way Cassian and Stefan feel about you. I grew very fond of Abbi since she’s been here, and I know she loves you. Just give her some time.”