I threw the letter on the bed and raced to Nina's room, overcome with relief from what she'd written. My heart slammed against my chest with excitement as I marched down the hallway to her room, and I stopped short at her door to calm myself before I charged through it like a mad bull. Taking a deep breath, I knocked and pushed the door open to see her sitting on her bed as if she'd been waiting for me.
"Hey, what's up?" she asked sweetly. "Did you get my letter?"
Her smile lit up the room, and I walked to her bedside to pull her into my arms. All the anger and jealousy that had churned inside me for hours disappeared when I held her, as if she was the lone antidote to all my misery.
I kissed her hard on the mouth, not wanting to hold back anything I was feeling for one of the first times since she'd come home. She was my Nina, and I wanted every part of her for mine.
She pulled away and looked up into my eyes. "Tristan, are you okay? I thought you'd be happy with my letter."
Cradling her face in my hands, I kissed her again, softer this time. "I was. Very happy. I liked that you wrote me something."
"Then what's going on? You have this weird look in your eyes. Is something wrong?"
I wanted to hear her tell me where she went that afternoon and what happened. I wanted to believe that she wouldn't keep that from me, but as I stood looking down at her, she said nothing.
"No. I was happy to read your letter and wanted to see you. What made you write it?"
Looking away, she took a deep breath and looked back at me. "I just realized that maybe I am someone you could love."
"Definitely."
"You're home early. Working from home again, Mr. Casual?" she asked as she tugged playfully on my tie.
"Always about my suit and tie. Maybe it's time I changed it up a bit."
"Sweatpants?" She looked me up and down and giggled. "Yeah, I can see it. Grey sweatpants with a mustard stain down the front of them. Maybe a ripped T-shirt?"
Nina's teasing lifted my spirits and I couldn't help but smile. "I'm going to have to work on how you see me. Sweatpants?"
"Well, maybe shorts? You have nice legs. It's something we have in common."
"I think we have other things in common. Did you have a nice shopping trip with Jordan? Are you ready for a great dinner tonight?"
Nina sat down on the bed with a thump and leaned back on her elbows. Eyes wide, she faked an innocent look and ignored my questions. "I swear to God, Tristan Stone, that you're trying to fatten me up. I don't think I've ever eaten this much in my life."
I looked down at her dress as it rode up her thighs, showing just a hint of the top of her stockings. I wanted to hear her answer about her shopping trip, but my need for her overtook my need to hear why she met with another man behind my back. Leaning down over her, I slid my hand up her leg as I balanced on my other forearm. "You look incredible no matter what I feed you." Looking down at my fingers as they slid under her stocking, I said, "I like the way these look."
Nina moaned softly as my fingers traced up her thigh to where it met her body. Arching her back, she groaned, "Oddly enough, I only seem to have these kind of stockings. Would you know anything about that?"
Smiling, I gently pushed my hand between her legs and felt the damp cotton. I slid my middle finger under it to feel her cunt soaked and willing for me. She closed her eyes and licked her lips as I slowly trailed my fingertip from her excited clit to her wet opening.
I loved the feel of her tender skin under my touch. The way her body opened up to take me into her and give me everything she was.
Then, from somewhere deep in my mind, a tiny spike of jealousy tore through me, ripping every gentle feeling from me until all I could think about was Nina with Cal just hours earlier. I pulled away from her and stood up as the knot in my stomach returned and my hands clenched in rage.
Nina opened her eyes and stared up at me in confusion. "Tristan, what's wrong?"
"I have work I have to do. We'll leave at six. No need to dress up. Wear whatever feels comfortable."
Sitting up, she frowned. "Oh. I thought we were going to our favorite restaurant."
Straightening my tie, I nodded. "We are. I'll see you at six."
And with that I left, needing to escape from everything she made me feel. The ecstasy. The pain. And everything in between.
Chapter Eleven
Tristan
I couldn't turn off the feelings just thinking of Nina and Cal created in me, so I did what I always did when I couldn't control my emotions. After an hour run and beating the hell out of the speed bag, I could at least say I'd reined in the worst of the ugliness that had threatened to take me over. I stood in the shower with my head hung as the water streamed down my back until it ran cold, unable to wrestle those final shreds of jealousy and hatred that continued to spin inside my mind. Over and over, I told myself that Nina cared for me. That I wasn't reading her signals wrong.
And over and over the truth that I couldn't shake from my soul raised its ugly head and forced me to admit its existence: she'd snuck away to meet another man and hadn't told me when I'd given her the chance.
My chest felt like a weight was pressing down on it. Every breath I took hurt, as if the simple act of taking air in was all wrong. An emptiness made the pit of my stomach ache as I tortured myself with that same scene of Nina with Cal on his cheap desk.
I knew I couldn't show her this side of me. She'd never love me if she knew my demons. How many times had my shrinks lectured me on the need to control my emotions? I'd been more than successful, in my opinion. I kept myself and my heart walled off and life had been good. Well, if not good, at least not painful for me or the rest of the world.
Then Nina came into my life and every emotion she brought out in me seemed magnified. I wanted her. I needed her. She was all I thought about from the moment I found out what Karl and his friends on the Board planned to do. And then I fell in love with her and she became my life.
My brain raced with thoughts about her ex. I hated him, and I didn't even know him. I didn't care. I hated him because he had a place in her mind. She'd let him into her heart once, so why wouldn't she again?
Of all the things I could give her, he had that one priceless thing I couldn't. Her past.
I waited for Nina at the end of her hallway, not knowing what I'd do if she kept her visit to Cal a secret. At six exactly, she opened her door and came toward me in the same dress she'd worn earlier.
When she'd snuck off to meet him.
She stopped dead in front of me and looked me up and down. "You aren't in a suit? I don't think I've ever seen you not in a suit. Well, except when you're not wearing any clothes at all."