A cute blush pinkened her cheeks, making her even more beautiful.
"I don't think jeans and a shirt are anything that different, Nina."
Stepping toward me, she hooked her thumbs in the belt loops near my zipper. "I like this look. Even jeans look incredible on you. You okay now?"
I wasn't okay, but she was too sweet standing there looking up with those beautiful blue eyes for me to shut her out again, so I pushed down my feelings about Cal. "Troubles at work. Nothing to worry about. I'm hungry. I hope you are."
As I turned to walk toward the car, she caught my arm and pulled me back to kiss me. Standing on her toes, she crushed her mouth into mine as she pushed her body against me, exciting me even if I didn't want to want her at that moment. That's what kind of effect she had on me.
When she pulled away for a moment, I asked, "Did you remember something you want to tell me?"
"Yes and no. Let's just say that I'm looking at things between us a little differently now."
I liked this new Nina, but I hoped her change of heart didn't have anything to do with her midday rendezvous. "Really? Anything you want to talk about?"
She kissed me softly and smiled. "First, I want to see our favorite restaurant. After that, who knows?"
I accepted her answer and tried hard to push Cal and all my jealousy away. "Your chariot awaits, my lady."
I'd arranged for Tony's Little Pizza Heaven to be ours exclusively for the night, just in case she remembered something. I didn't want her feeling overwhelmed by a memory and have to deal with the other patrons at the same time.
We walked from the parking lot around to the front of the building, and just as we reached the front door, she took my hand in hers. It was the first time since before the accident, and when I looked down at the sight of her hand so delicate in mine, it seemed so natural, like that's where it belonged.
"I can't wait to see this place!" she said as she looked in the window.
We sat at the same table as the first time we ate there, and I hoped that even that might spur some memory. Nina looked around wide-eyed at the decor as the waitress who'd been there the night I asked her to marry me arrived to take our order. In seconds, I realized I hadn't thought of everything.
Recognizing us, she lowered her order pad and pen, and smiled, her eyes wide with friendly enthusiasm. "I haven't seen you guys in weeks! How are you?"
Nina looked at me, unsure of what to say, and before I could answer, the waitress said to her, "I have to tell you I've told everyone I know about how lucky you are. What he did that night was so sweet. So when's the big day?"
She winced, like she was embarrassed, and I quickly stood from my seat. "Nina, excuse me. I need to speak to the waitress for a moment."
The woman looked even more confused than Nina did as I guided her toward the back room. In a low voice, I whispered, "I'm sorry, but she doesn't know what you're talking about. There was an accident and she suffered a head injury that made her forget a lot of things."
"Oh, sweetie. I'm so sorry. I didn't know. You two were just the nicest couple and what you did that night was so romantic. I just wanted to wish you well."
"It's okay, but she doesn't remember."
The waitress touched my arm in sympathy. "Are you saying she doesn't remember saying yes or she doesn't remember anything at all?"
I looked over at Nina sitting alone and said quietly, "Nothing at all."
"I'm so sorry. I'll get your usual, if that's okay, and leave you two alone. I hope things get better for you real soon."
Taking my seat next to Nina, I saw the sadness in her eyes. Our night out was already a mess.
"I'm sorry about that."
"Tristan, did you make sure we'd be alone here tonight?"
I nodded. "Yeah, but I didn't remember that the waitress who served us before might be here. I'm sorry. I should have thought of that."
She covered my hand with hers and smiled. "That you went to that much trouble is so sweet, but you can't shield me from everyone who may remember more than I do. I appreciate the effort, but you don't have to. I have to accept that people like her remember things I don't."
An uneasy silence settled in between us as Nina slid her hand back to rest in her lap. It felt like we were strangers suddenly, so different from the two people flirting in her hallway just a short while earlier.
The waitress brought our drinks, and we pretended like nothing was wrong, fooling no one. Sitting there drinking semi-flat birch beer, I wondered if we'd ever get past this stage of one step forward and three steps back. Just when I thought we'd turned a corner, we were back to being like strangers again.
"You proposed here?"
"I did. I promise it was more romantic than the time we're having now."
Nina smiled and leaned over toward me to squeeze my forearm. "Don't be so hard on yourself, Tristan. I'm having a great time. I'm here with you and I remember I love pizza, so I'm looking forward to this."
"You're being kind," I said, allowing my disappointment to show.
"Well, you said that was something you liked, right?" she asked with searching eyes.
"I did. Just one of many things."
"Like what? What do you like best about me?"
What I can't give you. Yet.
I brought her hand to my lips and kissed it, looking up at her. "I love your honesty most, Nina. When we grow old and grey and neither one of us looks like we do now, if I have your honesty, that's all I could ask for."
A pained look came over her, and when she turned away, my heart skipped a beat. Something had happened at Cal's office and she just didn't want to tell me. My blood felt like it ran cold in those moments as I waited for her to turn back to face me.
Biting her lip, she looked at me and took a deep breath. "About that. I have something to tell you."
I pasted a smile on my lips as my stomach dropped to the bottom of my body, and I feared that the next words out of her mouth would be to tell me she'd decided that she wanted to be with Cal again. Maybe having a second chance at life had made her want more. Maybe she wanted to rekindle that relationship.
No. I couldn't let her do that.
"You can tell me anything, Nina. Always remember that." Even as the words were leaving my mouth, I silently prayed that she'd never tell me what I feared I'd hear in the next seconds.
"I don't want us to start this relationship again with anything bad between us. I need to tell you about some things."
"Okay."
Nina smiled meekly and began. "I dated a man named Cal long before I met you. When I was with Jordan the other day she told me that he broke my heart by cheating on me the very night I told him I loved him. I guess it sent me into a depression. I didn't know that I ever suffered from depression until she told me."