"Nina, I'd never look down on someone because of that."
"I know. But that's not what I wanted to tell you. I had to know why he could so easily throw me away, Tristan. I had to find out."
I couldn't hold back anymore. "Because he's a fucking idiot. He's not worthy of someone like you, Nina."
Nodding, she continued. "I know. He knows too. I went to meet him at his office today. I didn't tell you because I didn't know how to say I wanted to go see an ex-boyfriend to find out why he didn't love me enough to not cheat on me."
I waited for her to say those next words that would make my world come crashing down around me. That she realized that Cal was the man she wanted, not me. With each second that ticked away, it seemed like an eternity until she finally spoke again.
Her blue eyes filled with tears, and my heart clenched in my chest as she spoke. "Cal was an immature boy back then. He knows that now. It felt so good to hear that, Tristan. All I could think of since Jordan told me what he did was that I was lacking in something that would mean he couldn't love me. But that wasn't the case. It was him, not me. I know that now."
"Nina, it would never be you. You're a beautiful woman with a lot to offer any man," I mumbled as the sound of my heartbeat pounded like a sledgehammer in my ears.
"But I guess I needed to hear Cal say that it wasn't me back then. I needed to hear that so I could believe that someone like you would really ever want me. Do you know what I mean?"
I nodded silently, waiting for her to get to the part where I was supposed to give her up.
"Tristan, you've been so patient with me and I can't thank you enough for that. I know it's been hard on you too. I think it might even be harder on you than on me. Remembering what we were when all I know is what we are now must be so painful. I'm sorry most for that."
Sorry most for that. Her words rang in my ears, like the final shot from a gun right before the bullet slammed into my heart and ripped it to pieces.
Just then, the waitress returned with our pizza, saving me from hearing what else Nina was sorry about. As we ate, I pretended that I was happy to be there and enjoying our time together. Nothing could have been further from the truth. This place that had been the scene of one of the best memories of my life was now just an empty room with us taking up a tiny sad space in it.
Nina enjoyed her return to Tony's, but I barely finished one slice of pizza before I felt too sick to stay. My mind raced with ideas, my demons trying desperately to take over. I could take her away and Cal would never be able to find her. I could make sure Jensen never took her anywhere without me, ensuring she never left. I could work at home from now on so I was always there to make sure she stayed.
"Tristan, you're so quiet. I thought you loved this place, but you only ate one piece of pizza. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. Let's finish up and get out of here."
She was obviously surprised by my desire to leave what I'd described as our favorite place. Now it was just another place I remembered being in love and she didn't.
I threw a couple twenties on the table and stood to leave, but Nina grabbed my arm and I looked down to see her staring up at me with that look that never failed to make me want to take her in my arms and hold her forever. If this was when she planned to tell me goodbye, I'd let her say it and then deal with her hating me because I had to protect her, even if that meant watching her want another man.
"Tristan, I want to finish what I started to say. I went to see Cal today because I needed to know if there was something wrong with me. Ever since I saw you that first time in the hospital, I've doubted that you could ever feel what you say you do for me. It didn't matter how many times you said you loved me. I still felt like I didn't belong with you—that I wasn't good enough."
"Nina, whatever you thought, I need you to know that I'm not going to just give you up. I love you, and you loved me once. And if you loved me then, you can love me again."
Her eyes lit up with surprise. "Tristan, what are you talking about? I'm telling you that I finally believe everything you said. All this time I'd doubted myself, but now I realize I'm not some defective female no one can love."
Every ounce of stress left my body and I slumped back down into my chair. "Defective female? Baby, you are perfect. I don't know what those assholes you dated in the past were thinking, but you're everything I've ever wanted."
Nina leaned over toward me and kissed me gently. "I hope you aren't mad that I didn't tell you I was going to see Cal."
"I wish you would have told me."
"Would you have been okay with it?"
Shaking my head, I said, "No way. I'm never a fan of the woman I love spending time with another man, especially her ex."
"You couldn't actually think that I'd want anyone but you, could you?"
"I think it's time to go."
I stood and stepped back to let Nina out, and she reached up to put her arms around my neck. Standing on her toes, she slid her tongue over my bottom lip, teasing me. "You thought I was going to say something else, didn't you?"
Chuckling, I shrugged off her question. "No. I had no idea what you wanted to say."
She stared up into my eyes for a moment and a sexy little grin spread across her lips. "You just seem happier now. That's all. Seems suspicious."
I pushed the hair away from her face and pressed my forehead to hers. "Did you have anything else you wanted to say?"
A tiny whimper escaped from her mouth and she closed her eyes. "I think I'll save that for when we get home."
"I wasn't thinking of doing much talking when we get home," I said quietly in her ear.
We walked out to the car as rain began to fall, and my mind flashed back to that night in Venice. Covering Nina's hand with mine, I squeezed it and she looked up at me. "The last time you and I were caught in a rainstorm was in Venice."
She stopped short as the rain began to fall harder. "I've been to Venice?" she asked in a stunned voice.
"Yeah. You loved it." I tucked her hair behind her ears and caressed her damp cheek. "That was where I told you I loved you for the first time."
"We fell in love in Venice? That's so romantic!"
Shaking my head, I smiled down at her. "No, I fell in love with you long before Venice. I just didn't tell you."
Nina wiped the rain from her forehead. "Why?"
"I was afraid to say it because I didn't think I could handle it."
"Did I love you before Venice?"