"Why are you doing this? I don't want anyone else. I just went to lunch with him to tell him I knew what he was doing. I felt so good about it that I couldn't wait to tell you. Now you're sending me away? Don't do this, Tristan. I love you."
"This is best. Just let it happen."
I walked over to where he sat and fell to my knees. I had to see his eyes when he said he didn't want me or us anymore. Looking up, I waited for him to open his eyes so I could see what he was really feeling. No matter what his words said, I knew the truth would be in his eyes.
"At least look at me when you tell me you don't love me. I deserve at least that, Tristan."
He sat silently, his eyes still shut. I laid my head against his thigh and quietly said, "Please tell me what's going on. Maybe I can help. I can't believe you don't love me. I won't believe it. Not unless I see your eyes when you say those words."
I felt his hand gently cradle the top of my head and looked up to see those beautiful brown eyes so full of pain looking down at me. My heart skipped a beat as I waited for him to speak, and I prayed to God that I wouldn't hear him say he didn't love me anymore.
"I'm sorry, Nina. I don't know why I'm like this. I don't know why I make such a mess out of everything. I didn't mean to."
I pulled myself up to my knees and took his face in my hands. "You didn't do anything wrong. It's okay. I get that you're jealous. I felt that way when I saw all those pictures of you and those women at those parties. It's just that I'd never want Cal instead of you. You need to believe that."
"Just the thought of you with him makes me crazy. I'm sorry I'm so fucked up, Nina. I never meant for things to end up this way. I thought I could handle things."
The sadness and pain in his eyes broke my heart. "Things are fine between us. It's everyone else outside of us that aren't okay. We're fine. I love you and you love me. What else is there? I don't know what you mean about handling things, but you can't stop how people feel about things. I don't know why Rogers didn't like me or why that man you work with thinks you shouldn't be with me, but we don't have to listen to them."
"Nina, you should do what I said. Leave here and I promise you'll want for nothing. You'll be taken care of for the rest of your life."
"I don't want that. What do money and things mean to me when the most important part of this life you've given me isn't there anymore?"
Pressing my lips to his, I kissed him tenderly, feeling his sadness. I didn't know why he was so tortured, but it tore me up to watch him like this. Those brown eyes that spoke volumes were crying out in pain, despite his ability to hold back the tears.
"Nina, are we just putting off the inevitable?" he asked in a voice barely above a whisper, as if merely saying the words scared him as much as they did me.
I leaned forward and pressed my forehead to his. "No. I'm not leaving you, no matter how fucked up you say you are. I love you, Tristan Stone. You better just get used to it."
He let out a huge sigh and I wrapped my arms around his neck, wishing that a hug would give him even a little comfort.
"Promise me something?"
"Anything, Tristan."
"Promise me someday when this is all over you'll forget all the bad and just remember I loved you."
Taking me in his arms, he kissed me, pulling me into him like he couldn't get me close enough. There was a desperation in him that I wished I could reach to prove that I loved him and vow that I would never leave, no matter what he tried to do to tear us apart.
When he was like this—so raw and vulnerable—I had a hard time reconciling the man who said so little and could be so cold. As we made love, we clung to each other, Tristan taking the strength I offered, as if nothing and no one could come between us.
I just prayed to God that was true.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Tristan
The low beat of a techno song from a room on the other side of Top reverberated through the building, making the floor beneath me vibrate as I sat staring up at the TV on the wall across from me. Some movie about a mobster played, but I wasn't paying attention.
I'd been at Top for two nights, unable to go home and missing Nina more than I could handle. I couldn't be around her, though. Not now.
Each night I laid in bed afraid to close my eyes, afraid of the nightmares. A new one had taken over my nights since coming back from Atlanta. I saw my face hovering over the body of a naked girl smiling up at me. She reached out for me, and my hands grabbed at her breasts, pinching and tugging until she cried out in pain. Each time, she screamed a single word over and over. Taylor. I knew that wasn't my name, but I couldn't stop myself from wrapping my hands around her throat and slowly squeezing the soft flesh until there was no more life left in her. Gentle brown eyes stared up at me in surprise that I could hurt her as I backed away into a someone who stood behind me.
My father.
He patted me on the back all the while wearing a smile. He said nothing but stared at me like he admired me for what I'd just done to the girl.
Pouring myself another glass of scotch, I leaned back against the leather couch and closed my eyes, letting the alcohol slide down my throat. I didn't know how much more it would take, but I needed it to make me numb. I didn't want to think anymore. I wanted to not care anymore. To not miss Nina like someone had cut out my heart and left a painful, aching hole in my chest.
Karl's announcement that morning that he'd gotten copies of Joseph Edwards' notes from Nina's sister had given me a second's peace and made me believe for a fleeting moment that all the terrible events put in motion by my father would finally end. That we'd finally be free to live without the past haunting our every step.
But Karl wasn't a man to let things go that easily. Kim's copies were just that. Copies. He wanted the actual notes Joseph Edwards took as he dug into the horrible world of Stone Worldwide and knew I had them.
You didn't think I wouldn't have you followed, Tristan? Did you? For God's sake, I had your father and brother followed, and I trusted them. I know where you've been and I know what you have. If you're smart, and I think you are, just give it all up and never tell her what happened and you'll be fine.
Are you threatening me now, Karl?
Son, I'm not the man to play with. This shark doesn't care if your father thought you were a piranha or not.
At least I now knew why Kim hated me from the moment she met me in Nina's hospital room. She'd judged me to be the same kind of man my father and brother had been. Could I blame her? Two Stone men nothing better than lying murderers. Who would want their sister to be involved with a man like that?