“Yeah I know; sorry, man. I had to come over and get some of my gear.” Seth looks us over with curious dark brown eyes, finally taking stock of our drenched and mud-stained clothes. “I’m not even gonna say it.” He shakes his head, laughing under his breath.
“Yeah, please don’t,” Luke warns.
Wringing the water from my shirt and as much as I can manage from my shorts, I do my best not to seem as though I’m interested in their conversation. I’m not, really, but I feel kind of trapped, not wanting to go inside Luke’s house and leave a trail of water and mud across his clean floors in my wake.
“Come on in,” Luke tells me, holding open the screen door. “Don’t worry about all that. I’ll clean it up.”
Our eyes meet in passing, reflecting the moment we just had, and then I go ahead and walk past him into the house. Luke peels off his T-shirt before he comes in and tosses it over the lanai railing. I try not to look at his tanned, muscled upper body as he walks through the kitchen toward me, but that’s not such an easy thing to avoid, I realize quickly. His shorts, weighted down by all the water, reveal a sculpted V-shape between his rigid hips. Oh my God …
Finally I avert my eyes.
Seth stands in the kitchen, leaning against the counter with his big arms crossed. It’s apparent to me that he probably came here for more than his gear, and the fact that he’s not saying much tells me they might need some time alone.
“Mind if I get a shower?” I ask Luke.
As if he feels bad for not offering it to me right away, Luke completely ignores Seth and says, “Yeah, babe. Let me show you where the towels are.”
Babe? I’m not going to have a working heart left by the time I leave this island.
I notice from the corner of my eye that Seth seems as surprised to hear something like that coming from Luke as I am.
I grab some clean clothes from my suitcase in his room, and then Luke leads me down the hall to the bathroom after getting a clean towel and washcloth from a hall closet.
“Thanks.”
He smiles, and for a brief moment it seems like he might want to kiss me again, but he doesn’t, and I shut the door and start stripping off my wet clothes. A moment later, I can faintly hear their voices through the thin walls and it seems like they’ve moved into the living room.
“This seems serious, bro,” I hear Seth say, but at first I don’t think he’s talking about me. “You sure about her?”
Is he talking about me?
I listen closer, not making any movement and trying not to breathe so I don’t miss anything. But then suddenly I’m paralyzed by fear and I change my mind, letting out my breath noisily and fumbling my clean clothes on the counter to avoid hearing anything else. What if Luke tells Seth he isn’t sure about me? What does sure even mean exactly? What if Luke says something, anything that I don’t want to hear and that might change everything I’ve come to love and enjoy about Luke and my time here? I turn on the shower quickly and close myself off behind the glass door. And all I can think about is Luke. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, and I’m not even sure how it is that I feel. All I know is that I don’t want to leave. I know it’s crazy, but I feel like I want to stay here with him forever. But I can’t. We live worlds apart and long-distance relationships rarely ever work. And I can’t leave my job, or my family. Or Paige.
I’ve been living in a dream world since I’ve been here—reality, my real life, will be here again soon enough, and I should be preparing myself for it.
I don’t know what I’m going to do from here on out. I think maybe I should’ve left days ago, before Luke and I got any closer. Before that first kiss out on the lanai. I know I should’ve done a lot of things differently. But I didn’t. And turning back now seems almost … impossible for me.
What have I done?
TWENTY-ONE
Luke
I’m sure that I like her,” I answer Seth. “A lot more than I wanted to.” I strip out of my shorts and toss them on the floor of the laundry room as I pass by, heading into my room in soaked boxers.
Seth follows.
“Well, I’m happy for yah,” he says. “I just hope this one doesn’t screw you over, man.”
I look back at him. “Seth, my exes didn’t screw me over, either,” I correct him and turn to my chest of drawers, shuffling open the second drawer.
“Yeah, I know,” Seth agrees reluctantly, “but this one doesn’t even live here.”
Shutting the drawer, I keep my back to Seth because I don’t really want him to see the tormented look on my face. Seth may be right about getting too close to Sienna—she’s afraid of heights (considering my extreme sports lifestyle, a fear of heights is almost a certain relationship killer) and she’s a tourist (she has to leave Hawaii eventually, and long-distance relationships require more work than most people are willing to put in); our chances couldn’t be more doomed—but nothing can change my feelings for her.
I walk over to my closet and yank down a clean T-shirt from a hanger, tossing it over my shoulder. I intend to hop in the shower after Sienna, though maybe if Seth hadn’t shown up I would be in there with her right now.
Maybe it was for the best that he did.
“Well, in any case,” Seth changes the subject, detecting the reluctance in me, “we were just wondering if you were still on for next week. I mean if you’re not up to it with Sienna being here, that’s totally understandable—might piss Kendra off, but who gives a shit, right?” He laughs, but it fizzles quickly when I don’t join in.