“Everything looks fine, as far as I can tell,” the doctor said, after they’d finished poking and prodding at me for a while. “It’s actually not that uncommon to lose consciousness when you’re pregnant, even during the first trimester. It’s a combination of blood sugar and rapid blood pressure changes that go along with your veins expanding. If you went without eating for a while and then stood up suddenly after sitting still for a long time, that sounds like a perfect storm. I wouldn’t look for any more complicated explanations than that.”
I nodded. Walter, in the chair besides me, was nodding too.
“Just make sure you eat something every few hours, even if it’s just something small, and keep yourself hydrated too. And whenever you stand up, try to do it slowly and gradually to give your body time to adjust.” The doctor snapped his chart shut. “I’ll tell the nurse to get your discharge papers ready.”
“This is humiliating,” I muttered, after the door shut behind him. “Not even twelve weeks pregnant and I’m already turning into an invalid.”
“Oh, it’s not all that bad,” said Walter. “Laura had preeclampsia the second time around. She was on bed rest for two straight months.”
“Oh, God,” I groaned, leaning my head back on the pillow. “Is it too early to put me in twilight sleep?”
I realized, belatedly, that Laura must be Daniel’s mother. Her name had never come up.
“About thirty years too late, I think.” Walter was smiling. “And quite a few months too early for one of those spinal doohickeys. Actually, you know, when Lindsey was born, we had to look around for a hospital that would promise us a natural birth. It wasn’t quite out of practice yet, to completely knock ‘em out so they had no memory of even having a kid. Laura had a friend who went through it. She declined the shot, but they gave it to her anyway. I guess when they do it, they strap them down to the bed. She had bruises on her arms and legs when she came to, and the whole story terrified Laura. She wouldn’t agree to give birth in any hospital until she’d conducted extensive interviews with practically the whole staff.”
“God damn,” I said. I reached for my phone. “I wonder if Daniel’s out of his meeting yet. I guarantee he’s going to be offended that I didn’t call him, even though everything’s fine.”
“I’ll let you get changed,” said Walter, standing up and heading for the door. “Meet me in the lobby.”
By the time he’d driven me home and helped me settle on the sofa, insisting on staying until Daniel got home, I realized I’d gotten to know Walter surprisingly well in these last few hours. As he washed the glasses in the sink, I contemplated what a strange turn the day’s events had taken.
“You need some real food,” he came out and announced at one point, drying his hands on a dishtowel. “What sounds good?”
I shrugged. I still didn’t really feel hungry, but the doctor had told me to make sure and eat. Then, I remembered something.
“There’s leftover alfredo in the fridge,” I said. “I could probably have that.”
“Sure,” said Walter, heading over to dig it out. “I’ll make sure to heat it up real good. Don’t want to be responsible for you getting some weird pregnancy sickness.”
I found myself smiling.
Eleven
Daniel stopped dead in his tracks after opening the front door.
“Dad?” he said, looking at Walter with utter confusion.
“Hope your meeting went well,” Walter said, coming over to shake his hand. Daniel did, reluctantly. “It’s nice to see you again.”
“I just…I assumed you’d be gone before I got home,” Daniel replied, tightly. He dropped his briefcase on the floor.
“I was planning on it,” said Walter. “But then your wife took a little spill. She’s fine, don’t worry, the baby’s fine. Guess she didn’t eat breakfast this morning and her blood sugar, or her blood pressure, or both - took a big dip. We already went to the hospital. Three thousand dollar bill to hear ‘make sure to eat some food occasionally.” He smiled. “But that’s your problem, not mine.”
It took a moment for all of this to sink in. “Maddy,” said Daniel sharply, coming over to me. I was reclining on the sofa. “Why the hell didn’t you call?”
“Because I was fine,” I insisted, as he knelt beside me. “It was just stupid of me not to eat breakfast.”
“Jesus Christ.” Daniel’s eyes darted all over my body, as if he were looking for some source of the problem. “Are you sure that’s all it is? Did they run tests?”
“Did you hear what I said?” Walter cut in. “Three thousand dollars. That wasn’t just for the paper gown, I’m pretty sure.”
“Thank you,” Daniel snapped. “Would you mind if I had a conversation with my wife for a minute?”
“Sure, sure.” Walter picked up his jacket. “It’s time for me to get out of here anyway.”
“Thank you, Walter,” I called after him as he left, but the only answer I got was the sound of the door slamming.
“You could have been a little more considerate,” I said, propping myself up on my elbows. “He drove me to the hospital, and then stayed with me all day.”
“What, you mean he fulfilled the basic requirements for being a decent human being?” Daniel slumped down on the floor before I had a chance to move my feet. “I’ll be sure to send him a fruit basket.”
“He was very nice,” I said. “Eventually.”
Daniel craned his neck to look at me. “And what does that mean? Eventually?”
“Well, things got a little heated when I was trying to interview him. But once I passed out…”
“Wait, wait, wait.” Daniel twisted his whole body around. “You were fighting with him just beforehand?”
“Well, not just. We’d kind of…we were trying to switch gears and get back to business.”
“But you were agitated,” Daniel insisted. “He upset you.”
“I…yes, I guess so.”
“God damn it!” he shouted. I winced. “This only happened because of him!”
“Of course it didn’t. Don’t be ridiculous.”
“You mean to tell me if he hadn’t come over, if he hadn’t been…Walter, you still would had your - episode?”
“Maybe! I don’t know!” I struggled to sit up straighter. “Daniel, please. Don’t go down this road. Blaming him for this isn’t going to get you anywhere. And besides, in case you missed this little footnote, I’m fine.”
“Yes, but what if you hadn’t been?”
“He would have taken care of me. What if it happened and he hadn’t been here? I could have hit my head on something. Who knows? There’s no use in speculating.”
Daniel was fuming. “All the same, I don’t want you meeting with him anymore. Nothing good can possibly come of it.”
“Actually,” I said, sensing that switching tracks was the only way to get out of this conversation, “I’m getting some decent stories from him.”
He sighed, leaning back against the sofa. “Well,” he said. “I suppose that makes it all worthwhile.”
“He told me about you taking apart ‘the Nintendo.’”
Daniel half-smiled. “Oh, yeah,” he said, softly, his voice taking on a slightly different tone. “I’d almost forgotten about that. It was already outdated by the time I got it. It wasn’t in the box, either, so thinking back I’m sure it was a hand-me-down. But what a birthday that was.”
“It was a hand-me down,” I said. “From his boss’s son.”
“Oh, that makes sense. They always had money. I’m sure he got the next one as soon as it hit the stores.”
I relaxed a little, leaning my head back on the armrest.
“Did he tell you about the time I took it apart?”
I swallowed. “Yeah,” I said. “We don’t have to talk about that right now, if you don’t want.”
“It’s fine,” he said. “It was such a long time ago. Barely even feels like it happened. I’d forgotten until now.”
“He sounded pretty regretful about his reaction,” I said. “In hindsight. He recognizes it was a sign of you becoming…well, you.”
“At the time, though, he thought it was frivolous.” Daniel exhaled. “I remember it now, very clearly, I can’t believe I ever forgot - he was yelling so loud his eyes nearly popped out of his head. ‘I’ll be god damned if any son of mine turns into some ridiculous fuckin’ Willy Wonka toy-maker!’ He thought it was a fad. Everything’s always a fad to people with no vision.”
I stared at the ceiling. “He just wanted you to have a nice gift that he wouldn’t have to worry about paying off,” I said. “He was afraid you’d ruined it, and you’d be sad.”
“He hated that thing.” Daniel chewed on the edge of his thumbnail. “Always threatened to throw it in the garbage if I didn’t unplug it so he could watch his shows.”
We were both silent for a long time after that.
***
At my twelve-week appointment, I made sure to tell them about the fainting incident. They all agreed with the doctor I’d seen - nothing to be terribly concerned about, as long as it didn’t keep happening, and everything else looked just fine.
The ultrasound pictures were a trip and a half. I couldn’t quite conceptualize the whole thing, looking at them on a monitor in a cold room while Daniel squeezed my hand with an unreadable expression on his face, and I tried to ignore the persistent urging of my bladder. But after we got home and he was spreading the prints out on the coffee table, staring at them like they were the Rosetta Stone, I took another look.
Holy f**king shit, there was a tiny human inside me.
Daniel was tracing the outline of a face with his index finger. They said it was a girl, with a fifteen percent margin of error. It really just looked like a blob to me. A vaguely baby-shaped blob. We’d paid extra for the intensely freaky 3D pictures, rather than the traditional X-ray style ones, and I was really starting to regret it.
I rested my hand on my stomach. I could feel the bump now, and in certain clothes, I could see it. But still, it was hard to believe that our little daughter was living comfortably in there.
“This is freaking me out,” I said. “I don’t mind saying.”
“I think it’s amazing,” said Daniel, softly.
“Sure,” I said. “But you’re not the one with the person growing inside you. It’s a little bit hard to wrap my head around.”
“Just take it one day at a time.” Daniel was holding one of the pictures up to the light.
“Oh, gee, thanks. That’s very helpful.” I got up and went out to the kitchen. I needed a break from terrifying ultrasound images.