I nodded at her and opened my door. She waited in her seat, knowing I wanted to be all grownup-like for her, and watched me walk around the car. I swung open her door and swiftly swept her into my arms for a quick kiss, surprising her and making her let out a short squeak. An unhappy grunt behind me got my attention and I twisted to look over my shoulder, immediately meeting gazes with Sawyer's intimidating father. It would seem they'd also just arrived. He'd gradually accepted that our purely platonic friendship had shifted to something much deeper, after that day on the highway, and while Sawyer assured me that he did indeed like me, he generally did not like seeing me with my hands and mouth all over his baby girl.
I instantly stepped away from her, not wanting to get her into any unnecessary trouble that might prevent her from spending the night with me, or with Sally, as her parents believed. They may have accepted our relationship, but they weren't about to condone us hav**g s*x. Even if Sawyer and I were both eighteen now, and technically adults, they were still parents, and much like my mom, they were most likely pretending that the two of us had decided to hold off on the physical stuff until we were away at college (if not until we were married). I wasn't about to let it slip to any of them that that was most definitely not the case.
Sawyer calmly walked up to her dad and slung her slim arms around his massive neck, giving him a light kiss on the cheek. You could see the big man practically melt as he hugged her back. Her mom broke off from chatting with Neil and my mom, and gave her daughter a warm hug when her father had let go. Then her mom hugged me and told us she was proud of us. Sawyer's dad merely nodded and grunted at me again.
Walking hand in hand, Sawyer and I parted ways with the parents and headed to the back of the gym, where the rest of the seniors were waiting. There were about eighty of us in this small school and most were having conversations with friends in groups of five or six. Everyone was dressed semi-formally, most already wearing their graduation robes slung open over their shoulders.
Sawyer and I were handed ours by Sally, who immediately started chatting with Sawyer about her party. I had no idea if Sally was aware that Sawyer wasn't really coming over or not. From the sound of it, Sawyer hadn't told her yet. As I tuned out their girl talk, I took a look around at the assembled students lounging about in the choir room, waiting for their five seconds of acknowledgement for four years of hard work.
It was a sea of blue before me. Blue robes and blue square hats with blue and white tassels hanging off the top. The room screamed school spirit and buzzed with the excited energy of people ready to leave that spirit behind. I looked over the faces I'd become close with over the last couple months and gave them brief smiles when our eyes met. Randy waved at me and I waved back. He was talking with some of the senior football players, Will included.
Will rolled his eyes at me when mine met his, but he made no move to antagonize me. While we had never warmed to each other, the level of teasing had died down once I'd started standing up to him. I narrowed it down to 'little man on campus' syndrome. For a long time I'd had everything he'd wanted - a successful position as quarterback on the team and Lillian firmly by my side, completely head over heels in love with me. Seeing me fall from that, had been too tempting of a target to stroke his ego with. I hoped severing our friendship had been worth it to him. It wasn't for me.
My eyes passed over several teachers in the room, Ms. Reynolds and Mr. Varner among them. Oddly enough, they were talking closely together and I watched as his hand brushed against her thigh suggestively. I grimaced at the thought of her dating that jerk. After everything she'd done for me this year, I felt a little protective of her, and hated for her to end up with that a**hole. As she brushed his fingers away, I smiled wryly. Maybe she was well aware of his nature and could see past the face that drove the high school girls to distraction. Good. I'd rather see her with a man who looked like a troll, than a man who actually was one.
With irritation on his face, Mr. Varner's eyes slid over to mine. They narrowed when they took me in. I knew I'd been staring at him with an expression that probably looked smug, and I didn't change that expression as I continued to stare at him. The guy was a jerk and deserved to be shot down. He broke our eye contact, rolling his and walking away from Ms. Reynolds.
Her perky, pixie cut hair turned to look over at me and her beautiful smile widened. Now that I knew the bloodline, I thought I could see the resemblance to Sawyer in the shape of her eyes and the color of her brown hair, that more matched Sawyer's mom, since Sawyer dyed hers. The body was also a pretty close match as the skirt Ms. Reynolds was wearing clung to her thighs and the flowery blouse plunged deep to show her cl**vage. After a brief smile and nod to her, I turned to take in the other students, needing all references to Sawyer's body out of my head.
As I started to space out, staring at the sea of blue and white, I suddenly clearly saw Darren, Sammy and Lil, all in their gowns, and talking with each other with mile wide grins. Envisioning them like that hadn't happened in weeks, and I smiled, welcoming it. Especially today. Darren looked over at me and waved with a playful glint in his dark eyes, his dark hair, in typical disarray, seemingly emphasizing his devilishness. I grinned as I imagined that Darren would have had some prank planned for his brief moment of fame. Knowing Darren, he'd have gone up on stage only wearing boxers under that robe and he'd have taken that moment to flash the crowd to thunderous applause from the student body.
My gaze shifted to the imagined version of Sammy holding Darren's hand. She'd of thought that was hilarious and would have been hollering the loudest of anyone for him. His antics never really made her angry. Irritated sometimes, sure, but never angry. She very rarely had anything but a happy grin on her face and my vision of her right now was no different. She turned her auburn head to say something to Lillian standing next to her and my gaze shifted as well.
A twang went through me. That probably wouldn't ever stop when I pictured her, but the ache was a dull one as she met my gaze and smiled at me. A sad smile was on my face as I imagined that if last year hadn't happened, last year to this exact date, I'd be standing over there with them, laughing about all the trouble we'd caused in our last year and planning to go out with a bang before we separated for colleges. I swallowed harshly and my hands clenched involuntarily.
"Hey." A soft voice beside me broke my vision and I blinked several times before looking down at Sawyer beside me. I knew my eyes were wet as she looked up at me. "You okay?" She lightly shook our joined hands and I relaxed my death grip on her.
I nodded, but then stopped and shook my head. With a slight lift of my lip I shrugged. "It was today." She nodded and leaned against me, understanding what I meant. The accident had happened today. I swallowed and continued, "I would never have imagined a year ago, that I'd be graduating today without them..."
My voice trailed off as my throat closed up. Sawyer's eyes watered and she nodded again. "They'd be so proud of you, Luc."
I closed my eyes at that and nodded. Yes, they would. They'd be thrilled that I'd survived the year, survived the torment and whispers and the, at times, self-inflicted pain. They'd be proud that I was moving forward. They'd be joyous that I had a potentially great life ahead of me, with a pretty amazing girl beside me, and even though I wished with every speck of life inside my body that they'd survived too, I was proud of them. Proud that I'd known them, proud that I'd loved them and proud that they'd loved me too. Proud that we'd had the kind of friendship together that some people went their whole lives without experiencing. And I'd hold that to me...forever.
Eventually Mr. Varner and Ms. Reynolds organized us into a few long alphabetized lines. Being the only 'W' in my class, I was in the back of the last line. Sawyer looked back at me from farther up our line and smiled brilliantly, the tassel on her hat swishing as she turned her head. She mouthed 'I love you' and twisted back around before I could say anything back. I smiled as I watched her talk to Sally standing in the line right next to her.
Ms. Reynolds came down each line, congratulating the seniors. She stopped in front of Sawyer and gave her a few words, her eyes glistening as she beamed at her relative. They shared a swift hug and then Ms. Reynolds continued down the line to me. She shook her head as she stood in front of me and I knew she had a ton of things she wanted to say to me. I could imagine them: You've come a long way, I'm glad the Safe and Sound club was a help to you, I'm sorry I ever doubted your innocence, I'm here if you need me. All she ended up saying was, "I'm proud of you, Lucas." I grinned as I watched her move back up to the front of the line. That was enough.
She opened up the door and headed out to the gym. With a look of utter boredom on his model face, Mr. Varner told the assembled kids that it was time to get this over with. He flung his hand towards the open door Ms. Reynolds had just walked through. When the first girl in line, Abby Adams, didn't move fast enough, he started making a 'get a move on' gesture with his hand, continually spinning it in a circle while the line eventually trudged forward.
Mr. Varner was either irritated that he'd been put on senior duty, or was irritated that Ms. Reynolds had shot him down. I was hoping it was the latter, but really, just his being irritated was fine with me. He had a hopelessly exasperated look on his face by the time I got to him and I gave him a brief smile. He glared and put a hand on my shoulder, holding me back from the rest.
His eyes searched my face. "You sober? I don't need you up there slowing things down."
I rolled my eyes and jerked away from his touch. Here was one person who was going to think the worst of me no matter what. I tried not to take that personally when I thought back over his sour mood all year. He just didn't care much for kids, it wasn't necessarily about me, although, I was pretty sure he disliked me more than the rest. I seriously had no idea how I'd managed to get an A out of his class.
I raised my chin as I held his gaze. "I don't drink." My eyes flicked out the now empty doorframe and then back to him. "And I have no intention of holding up your...plans, Jonathan." I couldn't help my impish grin; I was pretty sure his "plans" weren't the ones he wanted.
He narrowed his eyes even more and shoved my back to get me walking again. "You're already holding up my plans," I heard him mutter as I stepped out into the lacquered floor of the gym. Once again, I thought Mr. Varner had chosen the wrong path in life.
I blinked as I stepped out into the comparatively brighter room, and paused a second to take in the sea of faces in the bleachers. Several younger members of the student body were there, saying goodbye to their older friends, and I recognized several parents of the kids in my class. As I was standing alone by the choir room door, several heads in the bleachers turned to look at me. I was suddenly reminded of the packed gym laughing at me as I stumbled around like an idiot, doped out of my head, back near the beginning of the school year. I was pretty sure this crowd wouldn't start laughing, jeering or throwing rotten tomatoes at me, but the scrutiny was making my cheeks heat.
I hurried to the last row of folding chairs set up before a makeshift stage in the center of the gym floor. The kids in my row were almost all seated by the time I scurried over to them. I sat down on the edge and looked over my row of blue-clad peers to find Sawyer, who was leaning forward in her seat and looking back at me. Her head was cocked and her brow furrowed; she obviously was wondering why I'd been late. I smiled at how much she worried over me and shook my head at her, wanting her to enjoy her moment, her accomplishments, and for once, put my heart aside, if only for a few moments.