I smiled and nodded. I looked down, gathering myself, and then started telling her every moment I remembered with them. I was a little surprised at how easy it was to talk about them now, but months of counseling had taught me to open up, and nobody on this earth made me more comfortable than Sawyer, so opening up to her was particularly easy, especially now that we were so close.
Some of the memories I had were hard, and my eyes watered again, but with no more tears falling, luckily. Some memories were humorous and we both shared some good laughs. Sawyer held my hand and listened with rapt attention while I told her stories about people she'd never gotten the chance to meet. It made me a little sad that she never had; she would have loved my friends. But then...if she had, our relationship would be completely different.
Eventually Randy and Sally interjected with some stories of their own and I listened intently at hearing tales of my friends through other people's eyes. Eventually after that, a small circle had formed around us, of more people sharing their recollections. More tears sprang to my eyes as I listened to others share their memories. It lifted my heart at hearing how deeply my friends were missed, and not just by me. It lifted my heart that they would never be forgotten.
As the small circle, that was starting to feel like a group therapy session, widened and the stories grew more joyous, I noticed Josh on the outskirts, listening. I motioned to him with my finger, but he shook his head and stayed where he was, yards away from the happy remembrances, but still absorbing them.
I understood. Even in the midst of all the warmth I felt from the group, a part of me felt alone and sad. A part of me wanted to pull away and retreat into my shell, but I knew that wouldn't do me any good, so I stayed. I stayed and listened and even contributed with stories of my own. By the time people started heading off to class and it was just Sawyer and I, enjoying our free period in the sun, I felt like the memories were molded and encased in plaster - never to escape my head.
That evening, Sawyer came to my house, all decked out in a beautiful lavender dress. Her super black hair had the front layers pulled back into a simple clip, exposing her long elegant neck. As I told her she looked amazing and pressed that silky material to my body, my fingers sliding easily along her contours, my head rewound itself to our last encounter, and the sounds she'd made when my lips had traveled over that smooth skin, the rapid pulse of her heart evident as my tongue had swept tiny circles along the artery of that slim neck.
Her eyes smoldered as they met mine and I thought maybe my steamy thoughts were apparent on my face. Either that, or she liked the black slacks and the crisp, dark blue shirt that I was wearing (complete with a tie this time), and was having steamy thoughts of her own. I hoped her thoughts were in line with mine again. Her fingers slid down that tie, trailing down my chest as well, as she looked over my more orderly than usual, styled hair. She bit her lip and brought her attention to my hazel eyes, eyes that I imagined had to be smoldering right back at her. "You look great," she whispered.
I smiled and pulled her even tighter, wishing my mom wasn't in the house getting ready for the graduation ceremony, wishing we had more time before we had to leave for that ceremony...wishing I could rip her clothes off right here. Well, maybe tonight...afterwards? Now that we were hav**g s*x on a regular basis, I found myself wanting it all the time. Luckily, Sawyer had an appetite that matched my own. We were well on our way to rivaling Darren and Sammy's weekly average.
Her eyes dragged over my body and I felt the heat of that stare even through my clothes. My body started reacting to her, to the curves of her body, emphasized in that satin material, to her fingers exploring my chest muscles, and to her eyes mentally undressing me. Just as I was about to pull the telltale sign of my arousal away from her, she pressed her h*ps into me and I groaned.
She reached up to kiss me, a playful smile on her lips and lust clear in her eyes. "I wish we had more time," she whispered as we kissed fiercely, her words again matching my thoughts as we stood clenched together, still standing just a few feet from the front door. She hadn't made it very far before our hormones had taken over.
I started to back her into that door, not much caring anymore that my mom was in her bedroom. She gasped as I pressed against her, and I felt myself getting harder. My lips traveled down to her neck, back to that artery, where her heart was racing again. "You are driving me crazy...I want you." She groaned after I said that and her hands ran down to my ass, pulling my h*ps and grinding me into her. I groaned and started to run through places in my head where we could go and my mom wouldn't interrupt us.
"Lucas...is that Sawyer? Are you guys ready?"
"God, yes..." I heard myself mutter lowly. Sawyer started laughing and I tore myself away from her body, laughing as well now. As we stepped away from each other, I tossed an answer to my mom's creepily well-timed question over my shoulder. "Yes, Mom, Sawyer's here."
Shaking my head, I twisted back to face her. She was still braced against the door, still laughing, her cheeks flushed from embarrassment and desire. My body twitched and I sighed, knowing I had to wait for that wonderful connection. My smile turned into a wry one. "When are we leaving for college again?"
She giggled more and reached out for my hand. I grabbed it and together we headed over to the couch so my body could calm down a bit before my mom stepped into the room. I looked over at her as we sat. "Needless to say...I really like your dress."
She rolled her eyes and laughed again. "I should have remembered that dresses are your Achilles' heel."
She raised an eyebrow at that and I smirked at her comment. My gaze went to the space above the television set. The wall there had been empty for a long time, but Mom had slowly started putting up pictures of Sawyer and me. Amongst the random everyday shots, was the picture that had been taken of us at the winter dance. In it, Sawyer was gazing up at me and I was gazing right back down at her. Even from the profile of our faces, the look of love passing between us was unmistakable. The photographer had been right when he'd assured me that it was perfect.
Right beside that picture, was one that had been taken a few weeks ago at Senior Prom. Sawyer's mom had gone behind her dad's back and splurged on a magnificently fitted, long-sleeved dress. It had been low cut with a high slit up one leg. In a midnight-black shade that had beautifully matched her hair, the tight gown had also showed off every curve of her body. Mine had really liked that. We'd barely made it through half of that dance before our overly aroused bodies had needed a change of locale. Sawyer was right...I did have a thing for her in sexy dresses.
We were both chuckling about it when my mom finally joined us. She was wearing a summery dress with large flowers printed on it. She had left her hair down, curling it into large waves that nearly hid the gray streaks. With a beaming smile on her face as she looked over the two of us holding hands on the couch, I thought she looked half her age. I smiled at her youthful enthusiasm for the potentially boring event tonight.
She crossed over in front of the couch and grabbed a smooth strand of Sawyer's hair. Her eyes watered as she looked over my girlfriend. I chuckled lightly that she was nearly crying already; she'd be bawling long before I was actually handed my diploma.
Her hand trailed down the satin covering Sawyer's arms, down to her wrists. She grabbed Sawyer's fingers and squeezed for a second while Sawyer smiled up at her. "Sawyer, honey, you're so beautiful. That dress is lovely." Mom turned to look at me. "Isn't she lovely, Lucas?"
I blushed slightly and Sawyer giggled at seeing it. We both knew what I "thought" of her dress. "Yes, Mom, she's beautiful." I whispered that last part directly at Sawyer and her cheeks flushed to a blush more perfect than any brand name makeup could hope to mimic.
Mom patted my shoulder. "You're very handsome as well, Lucas. I swear you look more like your father every day." I looked back up at her when she said that. We didn't often speak of my dad, or ever speak of him really. Her smile was a sad one, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to look more and more like my father every day. Her melancholy almost instantly shifted back to radiance. "Neil will be here in a minute and then we'll go."
She took a seat in the chair next to the couch and demurely crossed her ankles, her face dreamy at the mention of her boyfriend. She looked down and bit her lip. "Um, I won't be back after the ceremony, Lucas." She peeked up at me and I swear she was blushing. Finally she raised her chin and gave me a level gaze. "I'm going to stay overnight with Neil."
I had no idea what to say to that. On the one hand, I had accepted their relationship and I was thrilled that she was happy. On the other...my mom had pretty much just told me she was hav**g s*x tonight. My stomach twisted a little bit as I flatly said, "Alright."
She grinned like a school girl and Sawyer chuckled beside me. Mom shifted her focus to her. "Are your parents coming tonight, dear? I'd love to chat with your mom again."
Sawyer nodded. "Yeah, they're meeting me there. A bunch of us senior girls are having a sleepover at Sally's house afterwards, so I'm taking my own car." As I watched her blankly, not realizing that she'd made plans without me, her hand subtly squeezed mine. As she didn't turn to look at me, I wondered over that move that was obviously meant to convey something. Then it hit me so hard I actually groaned, quickly shifting it to a cough when my mom looked at me funny.
Sawyer had just lied. She had no intention of going to Sally's tonight. She was staying overnight...with me. Maybe she'd only originally planned on staying most of the night with me and then heading out to Sally's before morning, but my mom had just handed her an overnight pass. Mom wasn't coming home tonight...and Sawyer wasn't leaving me. My slacks got a little uncomfortable as I thought about that, and I squeezed her hand back much harder than she'd squeezed mine.
I could not concentrate on any of the conversations we had after that, while we waited for Neil to show up. I was ready for the dressed portion of the evening to be over with. Although, I'd have to tell Sawyer at some point to not change out of that dress after the ceremony...
Sheriff Whitney, uh, Neil, pulled into a parking space right beside the space I'd parked Sawyer's car in. Even though the drive to the high school was a fairly short one from my house, I exhaled with relief when I turned the key off. I generally let Sawyer drive us everywhere, but tonight had seemed like the kind of occasion where I should be more of a gentleman and drive her. Especially with her looking so nice in that silky dress.
Her hand came out to my knee as I watched Neil get out of his car and walk over to my mom's door, escorting her from her car just like I wanted to escort Sawyer. Maybe he felt the evening called for a little chivalry, or maybe that was just a remnant of his generation. That's probably just the way things were done back in the day...he was quite a bit older than my mom. But if that didn't bother her, I suppose I shouldn't let it bother me.
I looked back at Sawyer as she squeezed my knee. Her face had a warm smile on it and mine matched it as I gazed at her. "You did great, Luc."
I knew she was talking about my driving and I felt my cheeks flush with heat, both at her encouragement and at the fact that she felt like she needed to encourage me. Eventually I would get passed this obstacle and feel more at ease behind the wheel again. It was just going to take a lot longer than I'd anticipated. At least I didn't get panic attacks at just the thought of getting behind the wheel anymore. That was something.