“You think that’s going to happen?” My eyes flick down to his boxers. He looks down too.
“Yeah, that is a bit of a problem.” I don’t have enough experience in this area. I don’t know how much control he’s got, or if he needs to take care of it.
He screws up his face and closes his eyes. I don’t say anything. It’s like he’s mentally talking it down. It takes a few minutes, but, as if by magic, it goes back down. He takes a deep breath and opens his eyes.
“Crap. It’s hard looking at you because you turn me on, but I think I got this.” He gets into bed and lies on his back.
I go to turn the lights off and tentatively get in after him, also rolling onto my back.
“How you doing over there?” I say.
“Good. We’re good.” He gives me a thumbs up. I hold my hand up and he gives me a high five.
“Sorry about the sex thing.”
“Honestly, I’m kind of glad you said to stop. You weren’t the only one freaking out. We shouldn’t rush into it. We’ve waited this long, right?”
I turn on my side to face him.
“Right.” We’d definitely made the right decision. “Goodnight, Real Boyfriend,” I say and give him a quick peck.
“Goodnight, Real Girlfriend.”
Jett and I don’t have sex the next day. Or the next. We Real Date for an entire week, and then another. We talk about it though. Nearly every night. No two people have ever talked more about sex without actually doing it. We both agree that if we let ourselves get beyond kissing, we’ll probably get carried away, so the lines are pretty clear.
This time, though, we don’t write the rules down. They’re more . . . understood, and also more fluid.
I adore being with Jett. Every second with him makes me want to explode with happiness. I can’t even deal with it sometimes. Every single day, he makes me a crane. I’ve got so many, my room is filled with them, and now they’re roosting around the apartment. He often writes little things on the wings, and I date every single one.
He finally shows me my portrait, along with the several I didn’t even know he’d done. It’s obvious when I look at them that he loved me when he drew them, which was probably why he didn’t want me to see them. They take their place on his wall just beside his bed, so he sees a portrait me when he wakes up, and also real me. It kind of freaks me out seeing my face like that, but Jett’s so talented that I don’t mind that much.
I’m also on the road to mending my relationships with my friends. We talk a lot, and I’m so much happier in that arena as well. Hazel and I have made up, and she’s even quitting smoking. Or at least she’s trying.
It’s almost finals week, and I’m stressing out about my classes, but for the first time I have someone to tell me to calm the f**k down and that I’ll be fine.
Jett has been so amazing that I want to do something for him. So one night when we’re in bed and after we’ve had our requisite sex talk, I bring it up.
“So I was thinking we might take a road trip this weekend.”
“Where?” I take a breath, because I really don’t know how he is going to take this.
“I was thinking we could visit your house and maybe see your sister. If you’re ready.”
He looks at me and I can’t read the expression on his face. Is he mad? Is he shocked?
“We’ll take my car and we can just drive by. Just so you can see her. Or we don’t have to go at all. I just know how much you love her and care about her and want to make sure she’s all right.”
He keeps looking at me and then he leans forward and gives me a kiss.
“I love you.” Okay, so he’s not mad. Good.
“I love you, too. So we’ll do it?”
“Yeah. We’ll do it.”
Chapter 21
“Are you freaking out? We can go back,” I say as I pull onto the road that leads to Jett’s house. His family lives in one of those developments where all the lawns are artificially green and all the houses look like they’re from a magazine. The opposite of what I had growing up.
“No, just go.” His words are clipped and I know he is freaking out because he won’t stop cracking his knuckles.
I take his lead and keep driving. His house is number nineteen. I drive past the first few houses and slow way down when I get close.
“They’re home,” he says, pointing to two cars in the driveway. He takes a shaky breath as I drive as slow as I can by the house. They probably think I’m casing it for a potential robbery. Which is why I suggested we take my car.
We’re just past the house when the door opens and someone runs out.
“Pull over, pull over!” Jett says, and as soon as I stop the car he’s out the door. As soon as I figure out what’s going on, I see why.
He holds his arms out and girl who’s an older version of the girl in the pictures on his wall flings herself into them, laughing and screaming. River. They hug for a long time and her mouth doesn’t stop moving as she chatters away. I notice she’s wearing an ankle-length skirt and her glossy hair is all the way down her back.
He finally sets her down and I can see that both of them are crying. He presses something into her hand, and looks back toward the house as the door opens again. Yeah, time to go. Jett races back toward my car.
“Go, go, go!” I peel out and the girl waves behind us before dashing back toward the house. I catch just a brief glimpse of Jett’s mom coming outside, but then I turn a corner and the house is no longer visible. I don’t stop driving for several more minutes. Jett’s been silent the whole time.
I turn onto a wooded back road and drive until the sound of the pavement is gone.
“So that was your sister?” Duh, Shannon.
“Yeah.” He still seems a little breathless.
“Is she okay?”
“Yeah. She misses me and she’s been trying to get away to come see me. I gave her my phone number and the address of the apartment, so she can come see me if she wants to. I can’t believe how different she looks.”
Tears are streaming down his face and I lean over and put my arms around him. It’s hard to hug in a car, but I’m doing it anyway.
He cries for a while and I cry with him. We sit there in my car for a long time. Jett turns his head and kisses me, tasting of tears. These are fierce kisses, filled with longing and anger and hurt and hope. Before I know it, he’s pulling me onto his lap and my clothes start to disappear.
“Now?” he says, his multicolored eyes burning into mine.
“Now.”
There is no way we can do this in the front seat, so we move to the back. We get down to where I’m just in my bra and he’s just in his boxers and I start to question if this is the best idea or not. Seeing as how it’s the middle of the day and the road is not that far away.
But I don’t care. This feels right and I know Jett feels it too.
Well, all is right until he tries to unhook my bra. I don’t want to say anything, but I can tell he’s struggling. I should have given him lessons. He makes a sound of frustration against my mouth and I reach behind my back and do it for him.
“Thanks,” he says, kissing his way down my neck.
“Anytime.”
And then my bra is off and it’s the first glimpse of me half nak*d that Jett’s gotten since the night we made things official.
“I almost feel like I should give you a round of applause,” he says as his hands skim over my skin. Jesus. That feels soooo good. I could get off just from this.
He pinches my n**ples hesitantly and I can’t help the moan that comes out of my mouth.
“Do you like that?”
“You could say that.”
“Would you like it if I kissed you?”
What kind of question is that?
“Yessss,” I say as he lowers his mouth over one of my n**ples and sucks it into his mouth.
Holy shit. Was this what I was missing? Jett’s hand works on the other nipple, rolling it back and forth between his fingers. Don’t know where he learned that, but I’m pretty damn happy.
He spends a lot of quality time on my n**ples and by the time he’s done, if he breathed on me, I’d have an orgasm.
“Was that okay?” He asks so sweetly that I want to laugh.
“Good job,” I say, and pat him on the shoulder.
“So you want me to do more?”
“Fuck yes.” He smiles and kisses his way down to the seam of my underwear. Moment of truth. I don’t know if I’m ready for him to have his face down there, but when he glances back up at me as his hands start pulling my panties down, his eyes are dark and I can see that he wants me. Well, shit, I want him too.
I lift my h*ps up and he gets my panties down and then off. Welp. Here I am.
I fight the urge to cover myself as he inhales slowly and looks at me.
“Yes, I’m definitely drawing you like this.”
I can feel the blush on my face as he lowers his head and kisses just under my belly button. I know what he’s going to ask, so I’m going to answer him before he does.
“Yes. I want you to.” I send up a little prayer that I don’t taste bad.
And then his mouth is touching me there once, twice, three times. And that’s all it takes for everything inside me to release and I’m crying out his name, my h*ps thrusting toward his mouth. He seems a little surprised, but I’m sure he knows about the female orgasm. As soon as the first one is over his mouth is on me again, licking and sucking, getting more confident, and driving me to the edge and over again. I’ve never come so quickly, or so forcefully, or so much in succession. Christ.
He looks up at me.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m f**king amazing.” I can’t seem to stop swearing. The situation seems to require it. “Do I taste bad?” I can’t help but ask. I’ve got to know.
“No, you taste sweet. I had the feeling you would. But, um, I’m really close to losing it, so I think we need to . . .”
“Move it along,” I say, finishing his sentence. Well, he’s done a good job so far, but this next part probably isn’t going to be as pleasurable for me.
“If I hurt you, please let me know and I’ll stop.” I hate to break it to him, but it’s going to hurt and it’s going to be awful. But that’s how it goes, and I’d rather go through something awful with him than anyone else.
“I’m ready,” I say, and he reaches for his jeans and pulls out a condom.
“Javi keeps putting them in my pockets.” Freaking Javier.
I slide his boxers off and I finally get to see the entire package that is Jett Nguyen. Okay, so it looks a lot bigger than I thought it would be. Maybe it’s just my perspective, but I have no idea how that thing is going to fit inside me and I can feel myself panicking.
“Shannon,” he says sharply. “We don’t have to do this.” Unless something tragic happens, his penis is not going to change, and I’m going to have to get one inside me sometime. I want his.