“Right, right. I forgot.”
Of course. Lexi must have moved to new premises. But where? Gabe looked at his watch. It was three o’clock already and he was dog tired. Maybe he should forget going to Lexi’s office? He could go to his hotel, get some sleep and see her this evening at the apartment.
“You know what? I changed my mind. Just take me to the Plaza.”
“You got it, boss. Plaza hotel it is.”
Lexi felt the medication course through her veins.
The nurse said: “You should start to feel a little woozy. Just relax. I’ll be back to get you in half an hour.”
Lexi slumped back against the pillow. When the nurse was gone, she started to cry.
I’m sorry, baby.
Outside, the nurses were talking.
“Even without makeup she’s really pretty.”
“I know. You’d never think she was forty. You think she’s had Botox?”
“No way. You can always tell.”
“Yeah, but with her money she could get, like, the best. Invisible.”
“How rich is she, exactly?”
“She bought Kruger-Brent for cash, so I’m guessing Bill Gates-rich. You know, if I had tons of money and looked like she does, I’d figure I had something to smile about. She looks so sad.”
“C’mon, Pearl, give her a break. She’s here for an abortion. She’s hardly gonna be doing cartwheels down the hall.”
“I guess. I wonder who the daddy is?”
They ran through the list of Lexi’s past lovers like they were discussing a character on a TV soap until the doctor arrived and put an end to the gossip.
It didn’t matter who the father was anyway. In a couple of hours, there would be no father.
The doctor was a woman. Lexi wondered if she’d ever been through an abortion herself. How do doctors get into this line of work anyway?
“Once the anesthetic is in, I want you to count backward from twenty. Okay?”
“Okay.”
A sharp prick. “Start counting.”
“Twenty, nineteen…”
Lexi thought about her mother giving birth to her. Had she known she was going to die? That she would sacrifice her own life for the new life inside her?
“…fifteen, fourteen…”
Max’s face. He was making love to her, violently, passionately. She was coming, screaming his name.
“…twelve, eleven…”
The light was fading. She could feel herself sinking, sliding deeper and deeper into the darkness.
Gabe was here. He was talking to her. She could see his face, his lips moving, but she couldn’t hear him. He was waving his arms around wildly, shouting. Something was wrong.
“I’m sorry,” she murmured. “I’m sorry, Gabe.”
Then he was gone.
At first she thought she was dreaming. Only when Gabe took her hand did she realize he was real.
She was in bed in her room, the same room she’d been in before the operation. Gabe was sitting by the bedside.
“What happened? Is it over?”
He kissed her on the forehead. “You mean the operation? No. I wouldn’t let them go through with it. I convinced the doctor that you were still unsure.”
Tears streamed down Lexi’s face.
“Was I wrong? Do you want to get rid of our baby that badly?” He looked anguished. “It is our baby, isn’t it?”
Lexi nodded miserably.
“How did you know I was here?”
Gabe told her how he’d jumped on a plane in Cape Town, desperate to see her. “I was going to my hotel, but I changed my mind at the last minute and swung by the old Templeton office.”
“Kruger-Brent,” Lexi said weakly.
“I know. I hoped you might have moved there, but I wasn’t sure. Then I ran into August Sandford in the elevator. As soon as he saw me, his face changed. I knew there was something terribly wrong.”
“August told you?”
“Don’t be mad. I forced it out of him. I got here as fast as I could, but they told me you were already in the operating room. My God.” Gabe shook his head. “If I’d been thirty seconds later…Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant?”
Lexi reached out and touched his face.
“I didn’t want to hurt you. I’d already hurt you enough. I knew I couldn’t keep it.”
Gabe’s voice trembled. “Why not? What are you so afraid of, Lexi?”
At last, it all poured out. Her terror of giving birth. Her certainty that, even if she lived, she would make a terrible mother.
“I’m not like you,” she sobbed. “I’m different. Max and I, we were both different. We were born with this… thing . Obsession, I suppose you’d call it. Max wanted Kruger-Brent as much as I did. I killed him, Gabe.” She put her head in her hands. “When I took the company away from him, I signed his death warrant.”
All the grief she’d been suppressing burst out of her like an exorcised demon. Lexi had hated Max for so long, she’d convinced herself that all the love was gone. But it wasn’t. Max’s death was like a part of herself dying. She knew that now.
Gabe let her finish.
Once she’d cried herself out, he said gently: “You didn’t kill Max Webster. The man was ill. He killed himself.”
“But, Gabe, you don’t know. You don’t know me. I’ve done some terrible things. Unforgivable things.”
“Nothing is unforgivable.” Gabe stroked her hair. “That’s why I got on the plane. Whatever you’ve done, Lexi, I don’t care. I love you. I love you as you are.”