Shauna.
Brody spoke first and he did it the instant his eyes hit her standing at the end of the table.
“Seriously?” he asked disbelievingly.
She ignored him and everyone else. She only had eyes for Max.
“Max, can we talk a second?” she asked politely, her voice unlike it was the night of the buffalo burgers. It was lower, sultry, cajoling.
“Nope,” Max replied curtly and I noted happily he was immune to her sultry cajoling.
She leaned in and said softly, “Honey, please.”
I was, unfortunately, even though Max asked me to be careful, slightly inebriated. Therefore when she called Max “honey”, I was not in any shape to fully consider my response as in, perhaps not have one at all.
Instead, my happiness about Max’s immunity to Shauna melted clean away, my back went ramrod straight, I looked at Mindy and I asked loudly, “Did she just call Max ‘honey’ in front of me?”
“Fuck,” Max muttered and his arm wound around my waist, pulling my lower body tight to his.
“I think she did,” Mindy whispered, her face again pale and she was watching me closely likely uncertain whether to jump across the table and hold me down or jump into the fray with me.
I looked at Shauna and told her, “You just called Max ‘honey’.”
“I’m sorry, Nina, this’ll only take a minute,” Shauna said, having decided that she was not a cold, heartless, cheating, she bitch from hell but, tonight, she was sugar sweet on the surface, however still unsuccessfully hiding the heartless, cheating, she bitch from hell she was to her core.
“No, it won’t take a minute, Shauna, because in one second you’re going to walk away.”
“Nina, honey,” Max murmured.
I threw out a hand my eyes glued to Shauna and declared grandly, “I got this.”
Max’s arm tightened and he said, “Shauna, Nina’s unpredictable when riled. Do yourself a favor, take off.”
“Max, seriously, this is important,” Shauna replied.
“Let’s go back to you calling Max ‘honey’,” I suggested.
“Nina, again, sorry but I really need a word with Max,” Shauna pushed.
“I might have been willing to allow that had you not called him ‘honey’ right… in… front… of… me. Now you’ll get one over my cold, dead body,” I retorted.
“Baby, calm down,” Max said on another squeeze.
“It slipped, habit,” Shauna said, the ice queen frosting her features for a second before she could hide it, her words meant to remind me she’d enjoyed Max, even if just for awhile then she fought it back and said, again low and fake sweet, “Sorry, really.”
“Apology accepted,” I declared magnanimously. “Now please, we’re nearing dessert, the best part of the meal. Don’t ruin it.”
She looked back at Max and said, “Max, you know I wouldn’t bother you if it wasn’t important.”
“Spit it out, Shauna, and go,” Brody ordered, sounding impatient.
She didn’t pry her eyes from Max. “It’s private. Max, please.”
Max’s mouth got tight as he tired of her game and stated, “We don’t share anything private, Shauna.”
“Max,” she begged and Max’s patience slipped too.
“Honest to God, Shauna, Brody’s in town and we’re tryin’ to have a nice meal. What the f**k?”
She realized she was getting nowhere so she changed tacks and announced, “I’m pregnant.”
The air at our table went static.
I was watching Max, my lungs burning due to the fact I was not breathing, wondering when he “scraped her off” and if there was a possibility this child was his as I watched him blink slowly.
Then he growled in his now lethally dangerous, deep, gravelly voice, “Come again?”
“Can we talk privately?” she repeated.
“No, Shauna, why are you tellin’ me this shit?” Max asked.
“Because it’s Curt’s.”
“Holy crap,” Mindy whispered.
“Jesus Christ,” Brody muttered.
“Oh my God,” I breathed.
“What the f**k?” Max clipped.
She squatted at the table beside Max and looked up at him.
“Max, you have to talk to Bitsy,” she entreated.
“Why in the hell would I do that?” Max asked.
“Because this is Curt’s baby. Because Curt would have taken care of me, of the baby. He told me so. And because, now, Curt’s gone,” Shauna explained.
“You have got to be shittin’ me,” Max bit out and I could tell he was beyond angry, he was building up to enraged and it was my turn to put my arm around his waist.
“Can we talk about this privately?” she asked again.
“No, Shauna, f**k, I don’t wanna talk about this at all. I don’t even wanna know this shit.”
She shuffled closer and put her hand on Max’s knee and my eyes honed in on it as she begged, “Curt would take care of me, you know it, you know he would. I can’t afford to raise a baby by myself.”
“Are you mad?” I asked and her eyes sliced to me.
“What?” she asked back.
“Mad? Insane? Crazy? Nutty? Bonkers? Round the twist? Mad?” I explained, my voice rising.
“Of course not,” she snapped.
“Then first, get your hand off Max’s knee,” I snapped back and her hand shot away like Max’s skin burned. “Second, trot away and find someone else who might be heartless enough to help you try to fleece Bitsy out of money. You have got to know Max would never do that.”
“It’s Curt’s child and that’s Curt’s money and Max knew Curt and knows Bitsy and everyone knows Max is fair.”
“And you were sleeping with Curt when he was married to Bitsy,” I retorted. “Hard knocks but you live by the sword, Shauna, you must be prepared to die by it.”
Her eyes narrowed and the frost started setting in. “What does that mean?”
“That means you played with fire now you’ve been burned. Live with it. Now, honestly, just go away.”
“This is none of your business,” she snapped, standing, the mask slipping completely, now she was staring ice daggers at me.
“Sorry? I’m sleeping in Max’s bed. They were my jeans Max’s hand was down tonight. But it was you who called Max ‘honey’, you who put your hand on him right in front of me and you who walked up to our table, interrupting a lovely evening and laying this rubbish on us. So I’m making it my business. Go away.”