“We’re talkin’ about an innocent baby here,” Shauna returned.
“We’re talking about you still digging for gold even though the vein has run dry and having the sheer gall to walk up to Max in a nice restaurant and try to drag him into it!” I shot back.
“What’s happening here?” a man asked and I looked over Max’s shoulder with hopes of seeing a manager or someone of that ilk but Harry was standing there.
“Fuckin’ A,” Brody mumbled.
Max slid out of the booth. “Everything’s fine, Harry, Shauna was just leavin’.”
Harry ignored Max and stared at Shauna, asking, “Why’re you botherin’ Max and Nina?”
“Harry –” Shauna was back to her fake sugar sweet pleading tone.
“Thinkin’ you can f**k Nina over like you f**ked over Bitsy and me?” Harry asked loudly and I studied him somewhat drunkenly, thinking he was a lot less goofy when he was angry.
“Can we go somewhere private?” Shauna asked demurely.
“No, everyone in the restaurant already knows you’re a f**kin’ slut, why would we need to be private about it?”
“Fuckin’ A,” Brody repeated on a mumble and also stood. “Harry, man, seriously, let’s you and me take a walk.”
“Yeah,” Harry answered. “We’ll take a walk, when Shauna takes a hike.”
“Harry,” I called. “Why don’t you pull up a chair, have a drink with us?”
Harry glanced down at me then his eyes cut back to Shauna. “I’d like that, Nina, and I’ll be happy to oblige, soon as Shauna slithers away.”
“Is there a problem, Shauna?” the man who was having dinner with Shauna was now there.
“Yikes-o-rama,” Mindy whispered and I gave her a wide-eyed look.
“It’s fine, Robert,” Shauna replied.
“You should calm down and sit down,” Robert unwisely advised Harry and he did it in a somewhat threatening way.
“Yeah? I should?” Harry asked, still loud. “She f**kin’ you now? ‘Cause you should know, a week ago she was f**kin’ me, Curtis Dodd and God knows who else.”
“As I said, you should calm down,” Robert repeated, stepping forward and Brody brought up a hand to hold him back.
“Boys, this needs to go outside,” Max ordered, getting closer to Harry.
“Fair warning, Robert,” Harry declared. “She’ll suck your dick great but, bein’ a woman and able to multitask and all that shit, she’ll have her hand in your wallet while she’s doin’ it.”
I gasped. Mindy giggled. The manager approached way too late because Robert shook off Brody’s hand and advanced, swinging, connecting with Harry’s jaw and Harry went flying.
There were some shrieks as Harry landed on a table, taking it down to its side, glasses, plates and salt and pepper shakers going flying. He righted himself, turned and charged, bent double. He hit Robert in the belly with his shoulder and took him back six feet into another table. Glasses spilled, plates crashed and the patrons jumped away as Robert landed then pushed up. Harry couldn’t find his feet, wrapped his arms around Robert and they both went to the ground, wrestling around, grunting and cursing at each other.
I got up to my knees in the booth to watch them as did Mindy.
This didn’t last long. Max and Brody waded in, Max taking Harry by the back collar and jeans, lifting him up to his feet and pushing him off. Brody did the same with Robert, pushing him in the opposite direction.
“Dumbass, motherfucker!” Harry yelled, steak juice, ketchup and horseradish sauce and what looked like wine, butter and sour cream too on his shirt, Max’s hand in his chest, pushing him back toward the front door.
“Cool it, Harry,” Max clipped still pushing at his chest, Harry shuffling backward, “outside.”
I watched until the door closed behind Max, Harry turned jerkily toward the front steps, Max’s hand came to his upper back and they walked out of sight. Then I looked the other way and Robert and Brody had disappeared out a glass door that led to a back patio. Shauna, too, had vanished from sight.
“Wow,” Mindy breathed and I looked at her then she smiled bright. “Neens, babe, you’re a totally fun date.”
I grinned shakily at Mindy, something caught the corner of my eye, I lunged to the side, grabbed our scuttling waitress by the wrist and asked, “I know you’ve got clean up but when you get a chance can I have an Amaretto on the rocks? A big one.”
“Sure,” she muttered distractedly.
“And you have one too,” I told her. “Put it on our bill.”
Her eyes focused on me and she said, “Hey, thanks.”
I waved my hand, got off me knees and sat on my behind. “No problems,” I muttered, took a deep breath and looked at Mindy. “You think we’ll ever go out without the night ending in men fighting?”
“This one was more fun than the last,” Mindy commented.
“Yes, this is true,” I agreed.
“Still, it might get old,” Mindy said on a smile.
“This is true too.”
“I’ve never had Amaretto. That isn’t a big seller at The Dog. Should I try one?”
“You have to taste Amaretto before you die,” I informed her, my words dramatic but they were also true.
“Then that’s a yes.”
I smiled at her. She smiled back.
* * * * *
“My favorite part…” we were all standing beside the Cherokee, me swaying slightly and Brody was reminiscing about our night, “was when Nina told Shauna she was in your bed and your hand was down her jeans. That was f**kin’ awesome.”
“Say goodnight, Brody,” Max ordered.
Brody grinned. “Just sayin’.”
“I liked it when Nina came up with all those words for crazy,” Mindy added, also feeling like waxing poetic about our fun filled evening. “I didn’t even know there were that many words.”
“I forgot barking,” I informed Mindy.
“I so have to live in England. You all talk killer,” Mindy exclaimed.
“And barmy,” I went on.
“Cool!” Mindy cried.
“And loopy, batty and crackers,” I carried on.
Max opened the passenger side door and his hands went to my hips. “Say goodnight, Nina.”
“’Night!” I called when Max’s hands turned my body toward the door and then lifted me up so I had no choice but to crawl in.