"Well..." honestly, everything she did made it difficult for me. Her scent - her attachment to me - her unreadable thoughts - how she was constantly needing me to save her, it all made it difficult. "It was just how close you were. Most humans instinctively shy away from us, are repelled by our alienness...I wasn't expecting you to come so close. And the smell of your throat." I was immediately aware that I almost exposed how much I craved everything about her. I looked at her then, making sure I hadn't scared her with what little I told her.
"Okay then," she replied breezily.
She tucked her neck in then, "No throat exposure." She said seriously.
My laugh was instantaneous. She didn't understand what I was trying to say, "No, really, it was more the surprise than anything else."
I raised my hand then, trying to prove a point, and placed my hand gently on her soft, warm, neck. In that moment, I pictured doing several things; bringing her closer to me and caressing her striking face, running my hand up through her hair so I could lightly pull her to my lips, bringing my nose to her neck and smell her from her neck to her ear... but I resisted.
"You see, perfectly fine." I said.
I felt her blood pulsing under my palm and her breath coming faster and blowing sweetly into my face. The scent, the sound, it was so appealing. Eagerness ran through me and I was instantly excited. She began to blush a light red color that set her eyes and lips glowing richly with desire.
"The blush on your cheeks is lovely," I whispered.
That insatiable creature, desire, refused to be caged at this point and took over my body. I released my hand from her grasp lightly and watched her hands fall limply into her lap. I reached up; slowly, deliberately gentle to place my hand on her cheek. I held her warm, precious face, in between my hands. I filled my lungs with her luscious scent, and it only sent electricity through my body now, being released slowly into her sweet cheeks from my palms. My passion for her was making me greedy.
"Be very still," I whispered.
I looked deep into her eyes and leaned in to kiss her, to bring my lips to hers and lick her warm skin, but abruptly I changed my mind, not wanting to tempt myself anymore then I already was. I placed my cheek against her neck. It fit there, like it belonged. I didn't know what I was doing, but ecstasy was quickly filling my veins. I continued to breathe in her aroma, and decided I needed a better whiff of what was driving me to crave more and more. I let my hands slide from her neck, just in case I was to make a mistake during my inability to re-cage my desires and snap it. I slowly brought my face closer to her collarbone and my nose lightly brushed her skin. She trembled then. The thought of what I was doing to her sent spasms of pleasurable electricity through my body and I inhaled one quick breath and held it for only a second longer than normal before releasing the air. The fragrance left a dull ache in my throat, but it was second to my new desires now. I continued to move my head and finally rested against her chest, making sure that each touch was calculated so I wouldn't damage her. Her heart was still racing under the tender membrane of her skin.
"Ah," I sighed.
I continued to listen to her heart. Sometimes it skipped a beat, and a few times it stopped all together. After an immeasurable moment her pulse slowed, and I realized in that moment that it was the most significant sound in my life. She never moved, but all too soon I was releasing her. I had brought her to me and didn't hurt her.
"It won't be so hard again," I said with resolution.
"Was that very hard for you?" she asked.
"Not nearly as bad as I imagined it would be. And you?" I asked, still curious if I were what she really wanted, if what I did was something she wanted.
"No, it wasn't bad...for me." She said timidly.
I grinned. Of course it wasn't hard for her...and I know it wasn't bad, either.
"You know what I mean." She said ruefully, and then smiled.
My face was warm from being against her for so long, "Here," I said, placing her hand against my cheek, "Do you feel how warm it is?"
Electricity flowed through our touch. Suddenly, she whispered, "Don't move."
I froze. I closed my eyes then, and settled into being a statue. I could smell the air being stirred close to my face and suddenly she was touching my cheek, her warm hand rubbing up and down my face, like she had been doing with my arm. I wanted to pull her into my chest, and I wanted to push her away. I didn't want to do something I would regret and she was making it amazingly hard to say no to her now. Her finger tips moved from my chin to my eyelids. Her fingers traced around my eyes, down my nose and then she reached my lips. Pleasure washed over me. The bliss of her touch had me begging for more. I parted my lips then, sucking in the air of the warm aroma that was her hand. She dropped her hand then, this time I was instantly upset, wanting her to continue. I opened my eyes and she looked into them. Her pulse picked up again.
"I wish...I wish you could feel the... complexity...the confusion...I feel. That you could understand," I whispered.
I reached up to gently move a strand of her hair away from her face. I remembered when Mike had done this, she seemed repulsed. Now, she was just as eager as I was.
"Tell me," she barely made a noise, it was mostly a wisp of a breath.
"I don't think I can. I've told you, on the one hand, the hunger - the thirst - that deplorable creature that I am, I feel for you. And I think you can understand that, to an extent. Though," I grinned half heartily, "as you are not addicted to any illegal substances, you probably can't empathize completely. But..." I brought my fingers to her lips and watched her shiver under my touch, a shiver of pleasure, emphasizing my next words, "There are other hungers. Hungers I don't even understand, that are foreign to me."