Lena pulled back gently, the way she did when something was on her mind, and stared up at me. Like she was looking at me for the first time.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I—” She bit her lower lip nervously, and took a deep breath. “It’s just, there’s something I want to tell you.”
I tried to read her thoughts, her face, anything. Because I was starting to feel like it was the week before Christmas break all over again, and we were standing in the hall at Jackson, instead of in the field at Greenbrier. My arms were still around her waist, and I had to resist the urge to hold her tighter, to make sure she couldn’t get away.
“What is it? You can tell me anything.”
She put her hands on my chest. “In case something happens tonight, I wanted you to know—”
She looked into my eyes, and I heard it as clearly as if she had whispered it in my ear, except it meant more than it ever could have if she had spoken the words aloud. She said them in the only way that had ever mattered between us. The way we had found each other from the beginning. The way we always found our way back.
I love you, Ethan.
For a second, I didn’t know what to say, because “I love you” didn’t seem like enough. It didn’t say everything I wanted to say—that she had saved me from this town, from my life, my dad. From myself. How can three words say all that? They can’t, but I said them anyway, because I meant them.
I love you, too, L. I think I always have.
She settled back into me, resting her head on my shoulder, and I felt her hair warm against my chin. And I felt something else. That part of her I thought I would never be able to reach, the part she kept closed off to the world. I felt it open up, just long enough to let me in. She was giving me a piece of herself, the only piece that was really hers. I wanted to remember this feeling, this moment, like a snapshot I could go back to whenever I wanted.
I wanted it to stay this way forever.
Which, it turns out, was exactly five more minutes.
2.11
Lollipop Girl
Lena and I were still swaying to the music when Link elbowed his way through the crowd. “Hey, man, I’ve been lookin’ for you everywhere.” Link bent over and put his hands on his knees for a second, trying to catch his breath.
“Where’s the fire?”
Link looked worried, which was unusual for a guy who spent most of his time trying to figure out how to hook up and hide from his mom at the same time. “It’s your dad. He’s up on the balcony a the Fallen Soldiers, in his pajamas.”
According to the South Carolina Visitor’s Guide, the Fallen Soldiers was a Civil War Museum. But really it was just Gaylon Evans’ old house, which was full of his Civil War memorabilia. Gaylon left his house and his collection to his daughter, Vera, who was so desperate to become a member of the DAR she let Mrs. Lincoln and her cronies restore the house and turn it into Gatlin’s one and only museum.
“Great.” Embarrassing me in our house wasn’t enough. Now my dad had decided to venture out. Link looked confused. He probably expected me to be surprised that my dad was wandering around in his pajamas. He had no idea this was an everyday occurrence. I realized how little Link actually knew about my life these days, considering he was my best friend—my only friend.
“Ethan, he’s out on the balcony, like he’s gonna jump.”
I couldn’t move. I heard what he was saying, but I couldn’t react. Lately, I was ashamed of my dad. But I still loved him, crazy or not, and I couldn’t lose him. He was the only parent I had left.
Ethan, are you okay?
I looked at Lena, at those big green eyes full of concern. Tonight I could lose her, too. I could lose them both.
“Ethan, did you hear me?”
Ethan, you have to go. It’s going to be okay.
“Come on, man!” Link was pulling me. The rock star was gone. Now he was just my best friend, trying to save me from myself. But I couldn’t leave Lena.
I’m not going to leave you here. Not by yourself.
Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Larkin coming toward us. He had untangled himself from Emily for a minute. “Larkin!”
“Yeah, what’s up?” He seemed to sense something was going on, and actually looked concerned, for a guy whose general expression was disinterest.
“I need you to take Lena back to the house.”
“Why?”
“Just promise you’ll take her back to the house.”
“Ethan, I’ll be fine. Just go!” Lena was pushing me toward Link. She looked as scared as I felt. But I didn’t move.
“Yeah, man. I’ll take her back right now.”
Link gave me a final jerk, and we were tearing through the crowd. Because we both knew I might be a few minutes away from being a guy with two dead parents.
We ran through the overgrown fields of Ravenwood, toward the road and the Fallen Soldiers. The air was already thick with smoke from the mortar, compliments of the Battle of Honey Hill, and every few seconds you could hear a round of rifle fire. The evening campaign was in full force. We were getting close to the edge of Ravenwood Plantation, where Ravenwood ended and Greenbrier began. I could see the yellow ropes that marked the Safe Zone, glowing in the darkness.
What if we were too late?
The Fallen Soldiers was dark. Link and I took the steps two at a time, trying to get up the four flights as quickly as possible. When we got to the third landing, instinctively, I stopped. Link sensed it, the same way he sensed when I was going to pass him the ball when I was trying to run out the clock, and stopped alongside me. “He’s up here.”
But I couldn’t move. Link read my face. He knew what I was afraid of. He had stood next to me at my mom’s funeral, passing out all those white carnations for folks to put on her coffin, while my dad and I stared at the grave like we were dead, too.
“What if… what if he’s already jumped?”
“No way. I left Rid with him. She’d never let that happen.” The floor felt like it dropped out from under me.
If she used her power on you, and she told you to jump off a cliff—you’d jump.
I pushed past Link, up the stairs, and scanned the hallway. All the doors were shut, except one. Moonlight spilled onto the perfectly stained pine floorboards.
“He’s in there,” Link said, but I already knew that.
When I entered the room, it was like going back in time. The DAR had really done their job in here. There was a huge stone fireplace at one end, with a long wooden mantel, lined with tapered wax candles, dripping as they burned. The eyes of fallen Confederates stared back from the sepia portraits hanging on the wall, and across from the fireplace was an antique four-poster bed. But something was out of place, disrupting the authenticity. It was a smell, musky and sweet. Too sweet. A mix of danger and innocence, even though Ridley was anything but innocent.
Ridley was standing next to the open balcony doors, her blond hair twisting in the wind. The doors were thrown open, and the dusty, billowy drapes were blowing into the room, like they had been forced inside by a rush of air. Like he had already jumped.
“I found him,” Link called to Ridley, catching his breath again.
“I can see that. How’s it goin’, Short Straw?” Ridley smiled her sickly sweet smile. It made me want to simultaneously smile back and throw up.
I walked over to the doors slowly, afraid he might not be out there. But he was. Standing on the narrow ledge, on the wrong side of railing, in his flannel pajamas and bare feet. “Dad! Don’t move.”
Ducks. There were mallard ducks on his pajamas, which seemed out of place, considering he might be about to jump off of a building.
“Don’t come any closer, Ethan. Or I’ll jump.” He sounded lucid, determined, and clearer than he had in months. He almost sounded like my dad again. That’s how I knew it wasn’t really him talking, at least, not on his own. This was all Ridley, the Power of Persuasion in overdrive.
“Dad, you don’t want to do that. Let me help you.” I took a few steps toward him.
“Stop right there!” he shouted, holding his hand out in front of him to make his point.
“You don’t want his help, do you, Mitchell? You just want some peace. You just want to see Lila again.” Ridley was leaning against the wall, her lollipop poised and ready.
“Don’t you say my mother’s name, witch!”
“Rid, what are you doin’?” Link was standing in the doorway.
“Stay out of this, Shrinky Dink. You’re way out of your league here.”
I stepped in front of Ridley, putting myself between her and my dad as if my body could somehow deflect her power. “Ridley, why are you doing this? He has nothing to do with Lena or me. If you want to hurt me, hurt me. Just leave my dad out of it.”
She threw her head back and laughed, a sultry and wicked sound. “I could care less about hurting you, Short Straw. I’m just doing my job. It’s nothing personal.”
My blood ran cold.
Her job.
“You’re doing this for Sarafine.”
“Come on, Short Straw, what did you expect? You saw how my uncle treats me. The whole family thing, not really an option for me right now.”
“Rid, what are you talkin’ about? Who’s Sarafine?” Link walked toward her. She looked at him. For a second, I thought I saw something pass across Ridley’s face, just a flicker, but something real. Something that looked almost like genuine emotion.
But Ridley shook it off, and as quickly as it came, it was gone. “I think you want to go back to the party, don’t you, Shrinky Dink? The band is warming up for the second set. Remember, we’re recording this show for your new demo. I’m going to take it around to some of the labels in New York myself,” she purred, staring intently at him. Link looked uncertain, like maybe he did want to go back to the party, but he wasn’t sure.
“Dad, listen to me. You don’t want to do this. She’s controlling you. She can influence people, it’s what she does. Mom would never want you to do this.” I watched for some sign that my words were registering, that he was listening. But there was nothing. He just stared into the darkness. You could hear the sound of bayonets clashing and the battle cries of middle-aged men in the distance.
“Mitchell, you have nothing to live for anymore. You’ve lost your wife, you can’t write anymore, and Ethan will be going to college in a few years. Why don’t you ask him about the shoebox full of college brochures under his bed? You’ll be all alone.”
“Shut up!”
Ridley turned to face me, unwrapping a cherry lollipop. “I’m sorry about this, Short Straw. I really am. But everyone has a part to play, and this is mine. Your dad is going to have a little accident tonight. Just like your mom did.”
“What did you say?” I knew Link was talking, but I couldn’t hear his voice. I couldn’t hear anything but what she had just said, replaying over and over in my head.
Just like your mom did.
“Did you kill my mother?” I started advancing. I didn’t care what kind of powers she had. If she killed my mother…