Can a person’s heart skip a beat? I swear mine just did. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing happened. I couldn’t find my voice.
Alyssa smirked. “Cat got your tongue?” It was the same thing I’d asked the day before when she was all nervous.
“No.” I jerked her head so that our lips crushed against one another. “You do. You have everything.”
I gave up trying to protect my shattered heart. I gave up trying to be strong. Everything — every single wall I had erected was gone, and in its place was her.
Chapter Twenty-nine
Alyssa
“You smile, I smile,” Brady crooned in my ear. His voice wasn’t the best, but it made me giggle.
“Stop!” I pressed my hands against his chest. “Fine, I’m smiling!”
“Good.” He brought my hand to his lips and kissed my knuckles.
“You know I hate it when you’re sad.”
I rolled my eyes. “Babe, I have you. As long as I have you I’ll always smile. I promise.”
“Nope.” He shook his head. “Not good enough. I need you to promise me you’ll smile even if I’m gone.”
“Like when you’re at school?” I asked, confused.
“Yeah, or when I’m old and gray and I die before you do, because I’m a selfish bastard like that.”
At that I laughed. “Okay, I’ll smile regardless.”
He sighed and dropped my hand. “Sometimes I feel guilty for keeping you, Alyssa. The things I’ve done… I don’t know. I just feel like this giant mess when I’m around you and all your goodness.”
“I can be bad,” I snapped.
“Whoa, easy, killer.” Brady held up his hands. “You know what I mean. Never lose your smile and never lose your innocence, okay? Trust me, it’s not worth it.”
The song continued playing, but I panicked. It wasn’t the same panic I’d had before. It was something else that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. Memories of Brady had been coming back full force, and for some reason I was remembering things differently. Like how whenever we were together it was almost like he was warning me, or like somehow he knew there was an expiration date on our time together.
I needed air. Once outside, I was able to breathe and then all of a sudden I felt peace. It had nothing to do with the warm night air or the salty breeze, and had everything to do with the guy who chased after me.
Demetri Daniels.
I needed him more than I needed the fresh air. I needed his touch, his kiss. Everything about him made me feel whole again.
Being with him wasn’t unhealthy. It wasn’t as if I needed him to live a normal day to day life. No, he just made everything else easier. If I had to climb Mount Everest, I had a feeling Demetri would nod his head and say, “Where do I sign up?”
I needed his positive attitude. But more than anything, I needed his encouragement, his love.
“I choose you.” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. And the look on his face was something I don’t think I’ll ever forget.
“Let’s go cut the cake.” I nudged him as we walked back into the party. The rest of the friends were still playing the Kinect, but Alec and Nat were busy cutting cake.
Sam stumbled next to me. I caught his arm and recoiled as the smell of whiskey hit me full force. The only reason I even knew it was whiskey was because I had picked up Brady one night after a drunken party. He had sobbed his eyes out and said he was sorry. I think he felt bad that he was drunk.
“Sorry.” Sam reached for my arm and nearly missed. I put my hand in his and led him over to the couch.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m so done!” he yelled.
Just then Holly ran up to him with Aaron by her side. “Let’s get you home, Sam.”
He shook his head no and pulled a flask out of his pocket, nearly missing his own mouth as he took a sip. Soon I felt Demetri’s hand on my back.
“Dude, no alcohol.”
Sam just laughed.
Soon Alec had him in the air and pressed against the wall.
Holy muscles. My eyes widened as Alec slammed him against the wall. “Leave before I call the police.”
“She doesn’t deserve your shit.” Sam spat. “You should know that right now, Alyssa. He’s going to mess up one of these days. Just like Brady.”
Alec dropped him, he fell to his knees. Everything happened in slow motion as I saw murderous rage cloud Demetri’s features.
He lunged for Sam, but Aaron held him back.
“Son of a bitch!” Demetri jerked against Aaron’s arms. “Get the hell out of my house right now!”
“He’s mad because he knows.” Sam pushed himself off the floor. “Isn’t that right, Holly? Everyone knows what a bastard my brother was.”
“Stop it!” I yelled. “Stop!” No one was expecting me to launch myself on a guy, but I couldn’t help myself. I began beating his chest with my fists. “Take it back! Take it back!”
Soon I felt Demetri’s arms around me, lifting me off of Sam.
I’d gotten a few good hits in, but I may as well have just gotten into a fight with a wall. My knuckles were bloody.
“Shh.” Demetri tried to calm me down.
“He was perfect!” I shouted, directing my anger toward Sam. “He was a star quarterback! He was good son! A wonderful person!”
Demetri tightened his hold on me.
“He cheated!” Sam screamed causing the entire room to fall silent. “You’re perfect boyfriend cheated on you while you were dating. He got Holly pregnant! So next time get your facts right.
I’m out.” Sam stumbled to his feet.
Connor followed him out, his eyes wide with surprise.
Holly slumped against Aaron, tiny sobs escaped her mouth.
“I should have told you. Demetri said I needed to tell you but —”
“Shit.” I heard Demetri behind me. He released his hold on my arms.
Tears threatened to pour down my face. “W-what? What do you mean Demetri told you?”
Holly wiped her eyes and choked on her words. “He found out the night we wrote our regrets because this was mine, Alyssa.
My regret was never telling Brady and never telling you. I didn’t want to ruin what you guys had and —”
“When?” I interrupted her, my body slowly started to go numb as I tried to focus on my breathing. “When did it happen?”
“The end of summer after football camp. It was a Friday night…”
I didn’t need to hear any more. I knew what night it was because it was the same night I picked him up from the party. The same night I saw him drunk, and it was the same night he told me he loved me for the first time.
I started seeing spots and then total blackness consumed me.
This time I didn’t care if I ever woke up.
Chapter Thirty
Demetri
My heart dropped to the ground. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think as Alyssa slumped to the ground. I caught her before she hit her head, and then I looked to Alec for help.
He began clearing people out. Nat asked if I wanted her to stay, but that was the last thing I needed. I swear, drama followed me just like the Biebs and boy bands.
Holly apologized about ten times then left with Aaron.
Best birthday ever.
At least I didn’t get drunk and gain myself a DUI and a cell mate named Bertha.
“Alyssa? Sweetheart, can you hear me?” I took her to the nearest couch and cupped her face.
The moan that came from her was nearly my undoing as her eyelids fluttered open.
I didn’t see her hand until it was too late. She slapped me so hard across the cheek I was afraid I lost a tooth.
“Guess I deserved that,” I muttered holding my face.
“You bastard!” She tried to get up but I gently held her back.
“Shh, you need to rest. You just fainted.”
“What I need is to stop surrounding myself with a**holes!
Now get off of me!”
“No.” Panic was overwhelming my common sense. “If I let you go, you won’t come back. And I need you. I love you, Alyssa. I love you so damn much it hurts, and it kills me that you’re hurting.”
“I’m hurting because you betrayed me, Demetri.” She shoved hard against him. “You did this.”
“Me? You’re going to pin this on me?” I jerked away from her. “I tried to protect you and protect Brady’s memory and it’s my fault? That’s bullshit and you know it, Lyss! He’s the cheater! He’s the guy who betrayed you, that abandoned you, and now you’re going to make me the bad guy?”
“You should have told me.” Her lower lip trembled. “I knew this would happen.”
“What? What do you mean?” I fought to keep the tears in.
“Us. I knew we wouldn’t last.” She smiled sadly as tears streamed down her face. “We’re too different. I mean, you’re like an accident waiting to happen. You’ve even said so yourself. Two broken pieces don’t always fit.”
“What are you saying?” I reached for her but she walked around me toward the door.
“I’m saying goodbye.”
“Just like that?” I chased after her. She ran down the stairs and out the door.
“Yes.” She turned around, hands on her hips. “Just like that, Demetri. You got once chance. You blew it. You blew my heart into a million pieces. You don’t get do-overs. Sorry if it’s hard for you to understand. I mean, don’t all rich rock stars get do-overs?” She laughed bitterly. “But you can’t rebuild someone’s heart once it’s been broken.”
She pulled off her shoes and began walking in the direction of her house. Not bothering to turn around when I yelled after her.
“I know.”
“Shit!” I ran back upstairs to the rec room and sat on the couch. My hand touched something smooth and wet. I froze.
The flask.
Sam must have thrown it.
With trembling fingers I touched the cool steel. My brain was screaming at me to make the pain go away. I wanted to be numb so damn bad. I hated feeling weak. I hated tears.
I cursed and grabbed the flask and walked out to the balcony.
Shaking, I dumped the entire contents over the edge and then threw the flask as far as I could.
“Nice arm.”
“Go away.”
Alec cursed and leaned against the railing. “I don’t even know what to say to make you feel better. Seriously, and we thought our shit was all messed up.”
I laughed bitterly. “Life blows.”
“Yup.”
“Oh, please.” I rolled my eyes. “You’ve got Nat. You had the happy ending, and you didn’t almost die last year. I’d say life’s pretty good for you right now, right?”
“Wrong.” Alec laughed humorlessly. “There’s always something, Demetri. Always. You should know that by now.”
“What’s your current something?” My curiosity was piqued.
“Promise you won’t tell?”
“Who am I going to tell? I just lost one of my only good friends.”