“Yeah, I was with Jimmy.”
He had his own feelings about her being with Jimmy. Never would he forget how that had made him feel. But this wasn’t about him, it was about her, and he needed to keep his feelings to himself.
“I met Jimmy after you went off to law school. He was charming and silly, and he made me laugh when all I felt like doing at the time was crying. I was working for your dad, too, that summer before my senior year, and I didn’t know what I was going to do with my life. Sage had plans for after graduation to be premed, and even though Bethel said I could stay after Sage left, it wouldn’t have been the same. You were gone, everyone was going away, everyone had plans—everyone except for me.”
She stopped again, her eyes closing briefly, and it took everything in him not to set aside the laptop and pull her into his waiting embrace. But he was afraid that if he interrupted, she was going to clam up again.
“So I worked alongside Jimmy all that summer, all the while missing you. He was nothing more than a friend, but one day he took it too far and kissed me behind the barn. I immediately told him I was involved with you, and he backed off, so I thought he was a stand-up kind of guy.”
“Wait! What?” His own feelings of bitterness rushed through him, but he pushed them aside. This wasn’t his time to tell his story. Maybe someday, but for now he needed to just listen. He should have bitten his tongue, because her eyes snapped to his and she looked at him quizzically. “Don’t mind me, Grace. Please continue.”
“Um . . . okay.” She looked away from him again, recalling memories she had tried to bury. “Then I got the call from you that you weren’t coming home for the summer after all, and I was devastated. You told me a long-distance relationship was too hard, and you thought we should see other people.”
She hated this part of the conversation, hated that he’d so coldly dumped her. But that was a long time ago. It didn’t matter now, did it? Yes, it mattered a lot, actually, because so much bad had happened after that.
“When he found out that you and I were no longer a couple, he figured I was fair game, I guess. That’s when he became a little more persistent, and I was worried that if I pushed him away, I would lose his friendship.”
“You still had Sage at that point,” he reminded her.
“I know. But I was feeling abandoned by her, even though she wasn’t leaving for another year. I was trying to prepare myself for that. Plus, she was working at the doctor’s office that summer, so we really weren’t seeing a heck of a lot of each other. It sucked.”
“Then what happened?”
“Eventually I let him kiss me again, but he was pushing for more and more, and I wasn’t willing to do that.”
“Did something more happen?” His fists clenched at the pain he saw on her face. Maybe he didn’t want to hear the rest of this story.
“Not that summer. His dad was transferred out of state and then he was gone and my senior year started. I didn’t see him again until the next summer . . .”
That was the summer from hell for her. If she’d thought the one before had been bad, it was nothing in comparison.
“The year had flown by, and then my nightmares were coming true. Sage left to intern for a doctor in LA, and I’d pulled away from most of the other kids in my class, just feeling sorry for myself. I worked for your dad again that summer, and a couple weeks in, Jimmy showed up. He said his dad’s job hadn’t worked out and they were back. I was actually excited to see a familiar face, one that wasn’t judging me for not having future plans.”
“I can understand that,” Cam said quietly.
“So it was a mellow summer, lots of work, and I found myself laughing quite often, which was something I was missing so much. Then you came back . . .”
Both of them remembered that moment well. They’d made love for the last time, and Grace had thought it was all going to be great . . . That was until he’d so coldly walked away from her again.
“Grace . . .” What could he say? Nothing.
“Don’t say anything, Cam. It doesn’t matter. The bottom line, though, is that I was in a vulnerable spot. Jimmy showed up with a couple of bottles of wine. I don’t know where he got them, but he said it was really good stuff. So we went down to the swimming hole and had a picnic . . . and drank all the wine. I remember lying there on the blanket, my head sort of spinning, and then Jimmy was climbing on top of me . . .” She stopped again, and Cam felt like he wanted to break something, preferably Jimmy’s face.
“I must have blacked out. Because one minute he was on top of me, and then the next, I woke up and it was the middle of the night. I was so cold, and Jimmy wasn’t anywhere around. My body was sore, but my clothes were on.”
“Wait a minute!” Cam exploded. “Are you telling me that he raped you?”
Grace was quiet for several tense moments. “No,” she said, but Cam didn’t believe her. He knew now wasn’t the time to push her, so, sitting there tensely, he waited for her to continue.
“I felt really sick, but somehow I managed to make it back to your dad’s property and to my car, and I drove home. I climbed into bed and the next day I still didn’t feel good, but it wasn’t as bad as the night before.” She stopped. He waited.
“Did you speak to him again, Grace?”
“Yes. I did. It was a few days, and when I finally found Jimmy, he apologized, said that I’d gotten too drunk and passed out. He said he had tried to wake me, but I wouldn’t budge, and his mom had been expecting him home, so he had to leave.”