“I warned you, never be a trailer.”
“I’m not being a trailer! I’m… trying to understand him.” I swirl my wine around a few times. “We ended so suddenly. He just cut me off. I wanted to work at our relationship, you know? I wanted to talk things through. Like, was it the commitment thing? Or was there something else? But he wouldn’t. He didn’t give me a chance.”
I glance over at Josh, who is smiling at Marie while the waiter uncorks a bottle. I could be watching our own first date. It was just the same, all smiles and amusing little stories and wine. Where did it go wrong? How did I end up sitting in a corner bugging him?
And then the solution hits me, with total clarity. I lean over toward Sadie with urgency.
“Go and ask him.”
“Ask him what?” She makes a face.
“Where it went wrong! Ask Josh what was wrong with me! Get him to speak out loud, the way you did with Ed Harrison. Then I’ll know!”
“I can’t do that!” she objects at once.
“Yes, you can! Get inside his head! Make him talk! This is the only way I can get to him-” I break off as a waitress approaches the table, her notepad out. “Oh, hi. I’d love some… um… soup. Thanks.”
As the waitress moves off, I gaze entreatingly at Sadie. “Please. I’ve come all this way. I’ve made all this effort.”
There’s a moment’s silence-then Sadie rolls her eyes. “Very well.”
She disappears, then a moment later reappears right by Josh’s table. I watch, my heart galloping. I push my earpiece more firmly into my ear, ignoring the buzz, and listen to Marie’s rippling laugh as she tells some story about horse riding. She’s got a faint Irish brogue, which I didn’t notice before. As I glance over, I see Josh topping up her glass of wine.
“Your childhood sounds amazing,” he’s saying. “You have to tell me more.”
“What do you want to know?” She breaks off a piece of bread. But doesn’t put it in her mouth, I notice.
“Everything.” He smiles.
“Could take a while.”
“I’m in no hurry.” Josh’s voice has deepened a smidgen. I’m watching in horror. They’ve got that whole eyes-meeting frissony thing going on. Any minute he’ll take her hand, or even worse. What’s Sadie waiting for?
“Well, I was born in Dublin.” She smiles. “Third of three.”
“Why did you break up with Lara?” Sadie’s voice is so piercing through my earpiece, I nearly jump out of my chair.
Josh has heard her, I can tell. His hand has stopped halfway through pouring out fizzy water.
“My two brothers tormented me, all through my childhood.” Marie is still speaking, obviously unaware of anything. “They were so evil…”
“Why did you break up with Lara? What went wrong? Talk to Marie about it! Talk, Josh!”
“… found frogs in my bed, in my satchel… once even in my cereal bowl!” Marie looks up at Josh, clearly expecting him to respond. But he’s frozen like a statue, as Sadie yells in his ear, “Say it, say it, say it!”
“Josh?” Marie waves her hand in front of his face. “Did you hear a word I said?”
“Sorry!” He rubs his face. “I don’t know what happened there. What were you saying?”
“Oh… nothing.” She shrugs. “Just telling you about my brothers.”
“Your brothers! Right!” With an obvious effort, he refocuses on her and smiles charmingly. “So, are they very protective of their little sister?”
“You’d better watch out!” She smiles back and takes a sip of wine. “How about you, any siblings?”
“Say why you split up with Lara! What was wrong with her?”
I can see Josh glaze over again. He looks as though he’s trying to catch the distant echo of a nightingale across the valleys.
“Josh?” Marie leans forward. “Josh!”
“Sorry!” He comes to and shakes his head. “Sorry! It’s weird. I was just thinking about my ex, Lara.”
“Oh.” Marie keeps smiling, exactly the same amount of smile, but I can see the muscles tense up a little in her jaw. “What about her?”
“I don’t know.” Josh screws up his face, looking perplexed. “I was just thinking what it was about her and me that went wrong.”
“Relationships end.” Marie sips her water. “Who knows why? These things happen.”
“Yes.” Josh still has a faraway look in his eyes, which isn’t surprising, as Sadie is yelling like a siren in his ear. “Say why it went wrong! Say it out loud!”
“So.” Marie changes the subject. “How was your week? I’ve had a hellish time with that client. Remember the one I was telling you about-”
“I suppose she was a bit intense,” Josh blurts out.
“Who was?”
“Lara.”
“Oh, really?” I can see Marie trying to feign interest.
“She used to read me out ‘relationship issues’ from some bullshit magazine and want to talk about how similar we were to some other random couple. For hours. That annoyed me. Why did she have to analyze everything? Why did she have to unpick every single row and conversation?”
He gulps at his wine and I stare at him across the restaurant, stricken. I never knew he felt that way.
“That does sound annoying.” Marie nods sympathetically. “Anyway, how did that big meeting go? You said your boss had some announcement to make?”