I turned my face so my words wouldn’t be muffled. “Actually. This is exactly what I need.”
“I don’t mean this hug. I mean I shouldn’t say what I came here to say.” He paused, and I waited to see if he’d continue, not caring enough to urge him on. “But I’m here, and I’m afraid this might be my last chance before the wedding to say it, so I’m going to say it anyway. The other day, I told you that I’d take care of you and the baby if it was mine. And I meant that. But I should have told you that I wanted you either way. Whether the baby was mine or not. I want to be the guy in your life, and I don’t care that your baby has half his DNA. I can love you both, no matter what.”
I sighed into him. Could Chandler be my future? I didn’t have the feelings for him that I had for JC, but he loved me, maybe as much as JC did. Plus he was here. Willing to stay. That earned him huge points.
And maybe I could learn to love him like that. One day.
Just…it wasn’t today.
Gathering strength I didn’t think I had, I pushed out of his arms. “Thank you for telling me. It means a lot that you would fight for me. But my heart belongs to JC.” Wherever he was. “If the baby is yours, I’ll make sure you’re involved in its life. But that’s all I can offer.” Right now, anyway. Later, perhaps I’d feel differently. I doubted it, though.
His forehead wrinkled, and I prayed he didn’t get emotional. I couldn’t take that at the moment. It was hard enough dealing with my own emotions.
But what he said wasn’t at all what I expected. “The baby isn’t mine. Didn’t you get the email?”
“What do you mean? No, I didn’t get an email.” I pulled my phone out as I spoke, opening the app to check once again for anything I’d missed.
“It was in my spam. Maybe it’s in yours as well?”
At the suggestion, I opened up my spam folder. And there it was—an email from the lab. I clicked the message and opened the attached document without reading the preface. The PDF loaded and I scanned it quickly.
Sample One, Bruzzo: The Alleged Father cannot be excluded as the biological father of the fetus based on the samples submitted from the mother and the alleged father and the DNA extracted from the population of fetal cells.
Sample Two, Pierce: The Alleged Father is excluded as the biological father of the fetus based on the samples submitted from the mother and the alleged father and the DNA extracted from the population of fetal cells.
“It’s confusing,” Chandler said, reading over my shoulder. “But, obviously, I’m excluded.”
A mix of emotions ran through me. JC was the father. I’d known he was, and I felt vindicated and relieved. My baby belonged to the only man I’d wanted to procreate with, and that was such good news.
But that man wasn’t here. And these results meant I’d be raising a baby alone.
Anger had been one of the feelings I’d managed to suppress for the most part. Until now. Now it was bubbling stronger than all the others, spilling over the dam I’d constructed over the last hour. Threatening to burst through it completely.
“I have to go,” I said to Chandler, too overwhelmed to keep it together. Not that I’d been keeping it together so far.
I was half ready to start toward the doors of the building when I realized I should say more. “I heard what you said, Chandler. I did, and I promise that it means a lot to me. In another life, you could be the perfect guy for me. But in this life, I’m not the girl for you. You’re going to find someone, though. Maybe not for a while, but you’ll find the woman who loves you the way you deserve. I have no doubt.”
He gave me a reluctant smile. “I’m not so sure. But I get it. You’ve made your choice. I hope JC knows how lucky he is.” He leaned in to kiss me on the forehead. “Goodbye, Gwen.” Then he turned and walked away.
I didn’t hang around to watch him leave, eager to get inside where I could break down and throw things in private. As I rode up the elevator to my floor, my hands balled into fists at my sides, Chandler’s words echoing in my head. I hope JC knows how lucky he is.
Yeah, real lucky. Because if he were around right then, I’d kill him.
***
I spent the next several hours vacillating between rage and productivity. I broke several dishes, throwing them against the wall, so goddamned mad at JC. How dare he make this decision for us? How dare he decide what was best for me? How dare he abandon us like this? He was the biggest asshole I’d ever encountered, and I’d known quite a few assholes.
Then I was angry with myself. Because I knew that I’d take him back in a heartbeat. All he had to do was say the word and I’d be wherever he said.