It might have been the playfulness in her tone or the fact that a long and wonderful weekend was finally coming to an end, but he didn’t respond. Instead, he just stared at her, noting the sensual curves of her body, perfect in nearly every way. “You are incredibly beautiful,” he whispered.
A light smile played across her lips, seductive and lovely. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” he echoed, and as he continued to gaze at her, he couldn’t shake the feeling that a long journey was finally coming to an end. He knew what that meant, and while the feeling had been unimaginable even a month ago, there was no reason to deny it. He reached toward her, gently running his fingers through her hair, the sensation luxurious, and he let out a long breath. “I love you, Maria,” he finally murmured. He watched as her surprise gave way to comprehension.
With his hand still in her hair, she wrapped it in hers.
“Oh, Colin,” she whispered, “I love you, too.”
CHAPTER 14
Maria
They made love early the following morning; afterward, Colin told her he wanted to get a workout in before class, and though the sun had not yet risen when he left, Maria tossed and turned, unable to fall back to sleep. She finally got out of bed, resolved to catch up on some long-neglected work.
She brewed coffee, showered, and dressed, and with the best of intentions opened up her MacBook to get some work done in the hour and a half before she left for the office. And yet, as she settled in, she couldn’t escape a growing, though inchoate, sense that something was wrong. Even as she sifted through her feelings, she couldn’t pinpoint the cause. The timing made her suspect that it had something to do with Colin; the relationship had been a bit of a whirlwind, although she certainly didn’t regret it. They’d fallen in love, and there was nothing wrong with that. It was normal. It happened to other people every day. And considering all the time they’d spent getting to know each other, it wasn’t even all that unexpected.
So what on earth was bothering her?
Refilling her cup, she abandoned the table and wandered to the balcony, watching as the port city slowly came to life. A light mist lingered just above the sidewalk, making it appear almost out of focus. As she sipped her coffee, she remembered standing in the same spot the night they had first made love, and though it brought a smile to her face, the memory was accompanied by a definite pang of anxiety.
Okay, so maybe her feelings about Colin weren’t as simple and straightforward as she wanted to pretend. But what, exactly, was throwing her off? That they were sleeping together? The words they’d spoken to each other last night? The fact that her parents didn’t approve of him? Or that a month ago, she couldn’t have even imagined falling for someone like him?
That pretty much sums it up, she admitted. But why this anxiety this morning? It was ridiculous to think that simply saying I love you could upset her equilibrium this way. Logically, it made no sense. She finished her coffee and decided to head in to work early, sure that she was blowing the whole thing out of proportion.
And yet, throughout the morning, the feeling didn’t dissipate; if anything, it only grew more pronounced. By ten, even her stomach had grown slightly upset. The more she tried to convince herself that worrying about Colin didn’t make sense, the more difficult she found it to concentrate. As the clock clicked toward the lunch hour, all she could think was that she needed to talk to Jill.
Maria went through all of it, including the way she was feeling, as she watched Jill pull several pieces of sushi from the platter onto her plate and begin wolfing them down. For her part, Maria put a single piece on her plate before realizing there wasn’t a chance she could force it down. By the time she finished speaking, Jill was nodding.
“So let me get this straight,” Jill said. “You met a guy, the two of you slept together after not dating all that long, you introduced him to your parents and they didn’t run for the hills, and he told you that he loved you. And then, this morning, you suddenly began questioning everything. Have I summed that up correctly?”
“Pretty much.”
“And you’re not sure why?”
Maria made a face. “Humor me.”
“It’s simple. You’re just going through a grown-up version of the walk of shame.”
“Excuse me?”
“The walk of shame? From college? After you had too much to drink at a party and you hooked up with a guy that you thought was perfect and then, when morning came around, you couldn’t believe what had just happened? And then walked back across the campus to your place wondering what the hell you were doing, still dressed in what you’d been wearing the night before?”
“I know what the walk of shame is. And it’s not anything like that.”
Jill used her chopsticks to pick up the last remaining maki roll. “Maybe not specifically, but I’d be surprised if your emotions weren’t seesawing from one extreme to the other, which is what most girls go through during the walk of shame. As in, ‘Did that really happen? Was it as good as I remember? What did I do?’ Falling in love is terrifying. That’s why they say ‘falling in love’ and not something like ‘floating toward love.’ Falling is scary. Floating is kind of dreamy.” She shook her head sorrowfully at Maria’s plate. “I just ate all of our food and I’m going to blame you when I get on the scale.”
“In other words, you think that what I’m going through is normal?”
“I’d be way more worried if you weren’t questioning everything. Because then, it would mean you’re crazy.”