He knew if he turned around, he’d make a complete ass out of himself, so he got in his truck and never looked back.
CHAPTER 20
A week later, Tessa wasn’t any less depressed than she’d been the moment Micah had walked out the door.
“Seriously? You just told him you didn’t need him anymore?” Randi said, signing with her words as they sat in the living room of Evan and Randi’s home.
She was glad to have her friend back, but Randi had been digging for information since the day she and Evan had returned a few days ago.
“I didn’t blow him off, Randi, I had to let go. I knew Micah wasn’t going to stay forever, and I was starting to feel like he was only coming back for me. I was getting too attached; things were getting too intense. I was afraid if I didn’t let him know that I would be okay without him, I’d beg him to stay forever. I can’t do that to him. He did so much for me.”
By now, Randi knew the whole story, everything that had happened since the day Micah showed up with her naked in the shower.
Randi gave her a doubtful look. “And are you okay?”
Tessa’s eyes welled up with tears, something that had been happening since the day Micah left Amesport to return to New York, which was just a few days after Micah had told her good-bye.
After a meeting with all of the family in town present, Xander had reluctantly agreed to go to the rehab facility, and Micah and Julian had gone with him to make sure he got settled before leaving to return to their primary homes. Tessa wondered how long Xander’s rehab would last. More than likely, Xander had crushed under family pressure, but at least he’d taken the first step.
“No,” she admitted. “I’m not okay. I feel like my heart is so shattered that I’ll never be able to put it back together again. How stupid was I to think I could just have a fling with someone like Micah? How stupid was I to think I wouldn’t be completely devastated when he finally left? I knew I was going to hurt, but it’s even worse than I imagined.”
“And how dumb was he to think he could just screw a woman like you?” Randi shot back. “Evan saw him in New York today. If it makes you feel any better, he’s not handling this very well, either. Evan said he looks like hell, and was drowning his sorrows in a bottle of Scotch. Doesn’t sound like either one of you was prepared for what happened.”
“Evan saw Micah?” Tessa asked breathlessly.
Randi nodded. “He’s in New York overnight. I decided to stay home because I have a lot to do for the planning on the new school. Sometimes I think I should have just gone with Evan. I think we text every half hour or so. You’d think we’d be sick of each other after our long vacation together. We were almost never apart.”
“I think that’s how it is when you really belong together,” Tessa said glumly.
“Evan said Micah is in love with you, Tessa,” Randi disclosed quietly.
Tessa shook her head fervently. “He’s not. He knew it wouldn’t last—”
“Things change,” Randi interrupted. “Just like you never knew you’d fall for him, maybe he didn’t realize it, either, when you were first together.”
“But he . . . left.” Tessa was afraid to hope that Micah felt even a portion of the love she knew she felt for him.
“You told him you didn’t need him anymore. You told him he could go. How is he supposed to take that? Was he supposed to confess his love after you blew him off?” Randi paused before adding, “I know you two were at cross-purposes, but I have a feeling he concluded that you wanted him to leave. That’s what Evan said.”
“Oh, God. It isn’t the way I meant it. I just knew if I didn’t give him an out, I might do something stupid.” Tessa sighed nervously.
Was it really possible Micah had misunderstood? “The last thing I’d ever want to do is hurt him, Randi,” Tessa said tearfully, large droplets beginning to pour down her cheeks. “Meeting him changed my life.”
“I know that,” Randi replied as she held out a box of tissues to Tessa.
Tessa pulled a few from the container and wiped her eyes. “Maybe I can talk to him in New York. He’ll be at the performance.”
“You’re going to discuss your relationship during a large event like that?”
Tessa shrugged. “What else can I do? I can hardly go to New York and throw myself at him. I don’t even know where he lives, and I doubt they’d let me through the door.”
Randi reached out and placed a supportive hand on her forearm. “Why can’t you go to New York? I know where he lives. And all you have to do is have the doorman call up to his place and he can get you in.”
“Maybe I should just text him—”
“No! Micah will bullshit you . . . I guarantee it. He’s an arrogant, prideful Sinclair. You’re going to have to go, and you’re going to have to be pushy to get him to be honest with you. One of you is going to have to put yourself out there, risk rejection if you want to get a reward.”
Tessa pointed at herself. “Me?”
“Since your rejection caused the problem, then yeah. It will probably have to be you. Micah thinks you wanted him to go. I doubt he’ll put his ass on the line again until he has some reassurance. Men are funny that way.” Randi paused before adding, “We do dumb things when we’re hurt, Tessa, especially when it’s somebody we love so much that we can’t stand the pain. Evan and I almost lost each other over a stupid misunderstanding. I was so hurt that I forgot everything, including how much he meant to me. Don’t let that happen to you.”