“What if he still rejects me?” Tessa said nervously.
“Is he worth it?” Randi questioned.
“Oh, yeah,” Tessa answered quickly. Micah was one man who was worth risking it all. “I think not knowing is worse than having to give up completely because we can’t work things out. I’ve discovered that I’m not big on living with unknowns.”
Tessa’s brain was still whirling with the possibility that Micah really might care. Thinking back to their last conversation, it was possible that he’d felt rejected. She’d been the one who had brought up the subject of him leaving, and he hadn’t ever really said he wanted to go. He’d simply agreed, his demeanor changing when she’d encouraged him to do what she thought he really wanted to do.
He’d left her two gifts, one of them the most amazing performance outfit she’d ever seen. It had been custom made by one of the best figure-skating designers in the country. To have it finished, Micah must have commissioned it almost from the minute she’d agreed to do the charity event. No doubt he’d taken sizes from her clothing at some point, because the ensemble fit perfectly. It was bright cherry red with gold embroidery and embellishments. Glamorous without being too gaudy.
The second item she was still wearing, and hadn’t taken it off since she’d opened the jewelry box. The charm bracelet made of gold with beautiful matching charms was no ordinary piece of jewelry. Every gold charm meant something, a symbol of something they’d experienced together: an ice skate, a plane, a parachute, a dog that looked like Homer, a hiking boot, and two other charms that she wasn’t quite sure how they fit in. The last two were a filigree heart and a golden rose. The bracelet and charms were beautifully crafted, and it spoke so much of things she’d experienced with Micah that she’d never been able to take it off. She knew she should send it back to him. It had to have been outrageously expensive, since it was solid gold with diamonds between the charms. But she hadn’t been sure where to send it, and she’d fallen in love with it the minute she’d seen it nestled in a box of red velvet.
“Jared is getting his plane ready. You can drive right to the airport,” Randi said excitedly as she clicked off her cell phone.
“I don’t have anything with me.” Tessa was still living in Micah’s home, Randi’s old place, but she’d been looking frantically for somewhere else to live.
“I’ll put some stuff together for you, and you can shop there. You know you’re loaded now, and you’ll be in New York City,” Randi told her adamantly.
“My skates and my outfit,” Tessa protested. “In case I don’t want to come back.”
“Done. I’ll pick them up for you and have them delivered to Micah’s place,” Randi offered.
“Thanks,” Tessa answered, rising to her feet.
She waited, pacing the living room while Randi went and threw together a suitcase of necessities. They weren’t exactly the same size, but close enough to make it work.
Unconsciously, she fingered the charm bracelet Micah had left her, putting her finger over the heart. What had he been trying to say by adding a heart and the rose?
“God, I was so stupid,” she choked out on a sob, knowing in her heart that they were things that Micah hoped would be their future.
She’d panicked, knowing she’d fallen so deeply in love with Micah that she couldn’t breathe. In a moment of uncertainty, she’d let him go, even though he’d never mentioned ending their relationship. It had been she who had been afraid of rejection, thinking she could save herself some heartache and embarrassment by cutting their ties so Micah could be free like she assumed he wanted to be.
While giving him what she assumed he wanted, she’d hurt him.
“Here you go,” Randi said as she sailed back into the living room and stopped in front of her, shaking Tessa from her thoughts. “This will hold you until you can shop.”
Tessa let her put the bag on the floor and then she hugged her friend tightly. “Thank you.”
Randi squeezed her back before moving so Tessa could see her face. “You’ve been through so much. You know I wouldn’t be doing this if I wasn’t certain he cares,” Randi explained, a thoughtful look on her face. “Evan and Micah are fairly close, and I trust Evan.”
“I think he might be right,” Tessa admitted. “I’m the one who got worried about being hurt. I chased him away. Even if it doesn’t work, I have to try.”
“You know Beatrice hasn’t been wrong yet about a Sinclair,” Randi teased. “I don’t think she’s wrong this time, either.”
“Do you know what I love about him, Randi?” She loved almost everything about Micah, but one thing in particular.
“What?”
“He loves me just the way that I am. He doesn’t see me as handicapped. It doesn’t matter if I’m deaf. For him, it’s just part of who I am, and he doesn’t make it an issue at all. He never has. He sees right through my bullshit. It’s like he can really see me. I guess he just wasn’t looking at me the last time we spoke.”
“Oh, Tessa. We all love you just the way you are. You’re deaf, but you are still . . . you. I’ve known you since we were kids. Not being able to hear hasn’t changed who you are here.” Randi put her hand on her chest.
“I know. But Micah showed me that my fears were just fears. That they didn’t define me, that my deafness didn’t define me. I guess I never realized that until I met him. I finally know who I am, and I don’t think I ever really knew myself until he challenged me to find out.” Tessa knew she wasn’t entirely fearless, especially since she’d messed up so badly with Micah. But she was determined to look what she dreaded in the face and fix it.