He did not rush into a reply. Merlina sensed he was assessing her argument, keeping his gaze locked on hers in a tense determination to reach past her judgement of him and find more vulnerable ground for him to attack. He lifted a hand and gently stroked her fringe back from her forehead as though wanting to feel his way into her mind.
‘I like your family, Merlina,’ he said quietly. ‘I like the way it works. It’s good. Why did you separate yourself from it, going to Sydney to work?’
The question surprised her. ‘I wanted to live my life my way,’ she answered without having to think about it. ‘What was here seemed very narrow. Too fixed. I found it stultifying when I was in my teens.’
‘You wanted to fly on your own wings.’
‘Yes.’
‘But you’ve flown the full circle, Merlina, and what it comes down to is you want what they have—the strong family ties, the belonging to each other, the caring and sharing, the security of knowing they’re always going to be there to come to in times of joy or sorrow.’
‘They’re the good things,’ she acknowledged, relieved that he did understand her position, though he wasn’t linking himself to it.
‘I’ve never had the experience of a family like yours,’ he went on. ‘How could I be in tune with it on first meeting, Merlina?’
She’d known it would be impossible. He wasn’t Italian, and his family life had been fractured, probably fostering a lack of trust in any attachment, not believing it would last. She guessed that somewhere along the line he’d instinctively shied away from any deep involvement with anyone.
After all, emotions weren’t torn apart if he stuck to freewheeling so better they were kept contained, controlled, while playboy sex answered any physical need. Being hit with her very demonstrative and very involved family, it was a wonder he had fit in as well as he had.
‘I’d have to say you rose to the challenge at every sticky moment. And I’m grateful to you for…for keeping the evening a happy one, Jake,’ she said sincerely. ‘I know it was a strain at times.’
‘Only at the beginning, Merlina. It took a little while to appreciate the solidity of where you’ve come from. And I can now appreciate where you want to go.’
‘But it’s not your way, is it?’
The words spilled out of a well of sadness. Tears pricked her eyes and she tore her gaze from his, not wanting him to see the sheen of moisture or the despair behind it. She looked back at the house that represented the kind of home she wanted to make with Jake, and her heart was thudding like a funeral drum.
‘I’m here with you,’ he said softly. ‘It’s where I want to be.’
For now, she thought.
‘And I don’t want what we have together to end.’
Not yet. The sex was still red-hot.
‘Neither do you, Merlina.’
She was too choked up to speak.
He curled his hand around her chin and gently turned her face back to his. Merlina quickly lowered her lashes, knowing he would see the truth in her eyes, the yearning for it never to end. He reinforced his truth with a kiss that felt like love, so seductive in its soft caring, any resistance to it was impossible.
She didn’t care if it was part of a game-plan in Jake’s mind, the intention being to keep her tied to him for at least the immediate future. She wanted to wallow in the feeling he generated…loving her, wanting her. It wasn’t too wrong to allow herself this much of him for one more night. Tomorrow, when they were back in Sydney, she would make the break.
Tomorrow…when she could think clearly again.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
HER father drove them to the airport in his much-loved Alfa sedan. ‘It’s a very good family car,’ he said pointedly to Jake.
Bambinos were still on Angelo Rossi’s mind.
Which put them smack in the forefront of Merlina’s again.
Her mother sat beside her father, having decided to accompany them despite the early hour in the morning. Clearly it was a show of support for this marriage to go ahead. At the airport terminal, she gave Merlina a big hug and whispered, ‘You keep that ring on, Merlina, and work things through with Jake. You’re not getting any younger.’
Meaning Jake was possibly her last hope of taking on a proper woman’s role.
She gave him a big hug, too, which he not only happily submitted to, he kissed his mother on both cheeks, as well, having no problem at all with adopting the Italian way now that he’d got the hang of it.
‘You’ll take care of my daughter, Jake?’ she appealed.
‘I will, Maria,’ he promised.
Her parents’ blessing for this union had been bestowed. It persuaded Merlina she should give it more time, not be too hasty in deciding it wouldn’t go the full distance. Jake had said last night he didn’t want it to end. Maybe he did love her and just hadn’t recognised the feeling. She wanted it to be so—too much to turn her back on him at this point.
Once they were in the air, flying back to Sydney, she turned to him and said, ‘I will come back to work with you, Jake.’
His face broke into a grin of delight. ‘Great!’ He reached over and squeezed her hand. ‘No one can take your place, Merlina. The temporary assistant you brought in drove me into irritable impatience in no time flat.’
‘She was a skinny blonde.’
‘I’ve suddenly developed a strong partiality to dark-haired, well-fleshed women.’
She raised her eyebrows. ‘Big turnaround, Jake.’
‘I’ve seen the light.’ His eyes danced wickedly, ‘Or more accurately, I’ve felt the light. Very good feeling. In fact, I can hardly wait to experience it again.’
Which instantly stirred the desire in her to feel him again. Sex with Jake was definitely addictive. Her inner muscles squeezed tight just thinking about it. But since it would be at least another two hours before they reached the privacy of her apartment, she tried to divert her mind into other channels.
‘You know I’ve never met your friends,’ she remarked. ‘You haven’t met mine, either.’
‘Okay, we’ll hit the social scene this coming weekend. See what you can arrange with your friends and I’ll fit mine in with whatever time we have left,’ he suggested, happy to oblige.
She still had almost four weeks of vacation ahead of her, but taking it meant she’d be apart from Jake most of the time. ‘I’ll just take the rest of this week off work, then come back.’ She flashed him a grin. ‘Save you the aggravation of dealing with my replacement. Though you’ll have to pay her off.’