‘No problem!’ he declared with resounding relief. ‘I can even be reasonably civilised toward her if it’s only for a few more days. What do you plan on doing with this week?’
It felt surreal chatting about activities outside of work with Jake. She’d never done it before. It hadn’t even been two full days since their strictly employer/employee relationship had ended and the meeting with her family had dominated most of that time. Now they were on their own, heading into unchartered territory.
Would their lives mesh easily or would there be snags to make sharing difficult?
Give it time, her mother had advised. Work things through.
Her family had been a huge snag and Jake had worked it through. Merlina told herself she had to be open to different experiences, too, and not be so judgemental about his playboy style of having fun. There was nothing wrong with amusing oneself with challenges. She enjoyed rising to them as much as Jake did.
In fact, being with him had opened up her life far more than she would have ever dared to go on her own wings. He had been good for her in lots of ways, spurring her into taking pleasure in her femininity instead of hiding it, giving her tasks that pushed her to work at her full potential, which in turn, had given her confidence in her ability to perform well in any arena. She had grown into the person she’d wanted to be under his influence.
And he’d stopped any alienation from her family, firstly with his timely marriage proposal, then following it up by evading any upsetting ruction at the barbecue party, riding through awkward moments, charming everyone. It meant her family was no barrier in her relationship with him. He’d actually liked being with them. Which was a huge relief.
In fact, the truth was she’d never really hated him. That had simply been a fierce frustration over his playboy approach to everything, including her. But he wasn’t playing with her now and she loved him with every atom of her being. Loved him for all he had done for her, loved him for his generosity, his provocative challenges, even his wicked sense of mischief.
However, she did need the big question of having children settled. Jake had not answered it to her satisfaction. He’d said he understood her desire for a family, but so far he had evaded any commitment to being a father. Was it too soon to pin him down on the subject? What they now had together was very new. Perhaps she should give that critical issue more time, too.
Once the plane landed at Mascot, they quickly made their way to the overnight car-park and headed off to Chatswood in the Ferrari. Being in the sports car together, no longer surrounded by people, created its own sense of physical intimacy. Merlina couldn’t stop herself from glancing at Jake’s hands as they controlled the steering wheel and changed gears, imagining their touch running over her body, so sensitive to her pleasure, so expert in delivering it.
They didn’t talk.
At one red traffic light, Jake shot her a searing look that clearly told her he was tense with anticipation, too, wanting what she wanted. Merlina thought how wonderful it was not to have to pretend indifference any more. The need for each other was real, mutual, and urgent.
As soon as Jake parked the car in front of her apartment, she was out, the door key ready in her hand. Jake paused long enough to get her overnight bag out of the trunk, catching up with her as she opened her front door. He dropped the bag in the living-room. She closed the door and flew into his embrace. They hugged and laughed at the madness that possessed them, the glorious madness of uninhibited desire running rampant between them.
‘Bed this time. Definitely bed,’ Jake declared, sweeping her down the hall in his haste to get there.
They pulled off their own clothes, tossing them away in wild abandonment, then leaping onto the bed and revelling in holding each other, being naked together, feeling the muscled strength and the giving softness as they stretched and rolled and entwined, their mouths avidly connecting in increasingly erotic kisses.
‘Damn!’ Jake muttered as he came up for air. ‘Forgot to get out a condom.’
He started lifting himself away from her and she grabbed him back. ‘Forget it!’ she commanded recklessly, not wanting anything to dull the sensation of his flesh against hers.
‘Is it safe?’ His eyes stabbed his need to know.
‘I don’t know. It doesn’t matter.’
His brows drew together in a sharp V. ‘Of course it matters. You might get pregnant.’
A chill ran through her fevered mind. ‘So what if I did?’ she challenged. ‘We’re getting married, aren’t we?’
He shook his head. ‘We shouldn’t risk it. It’s too soon to be saddled with a baby, Merlina. Be right back.’
He heaved himself out of her grasp and was off the bed, hunting for the wallet he’d left in his jeans. A sick hollowness instantly took up residence in Merlina’s stomach. She couldn’t lie there waiting for him. He didn’t want to risk making a baby with her, didn’t want to be saddled with a child. He wanted a bit of plastic stopping that natural process.
She swung her legs off the other side of the bed and stood up, every muscle quivering at the enforced halt to the excitement that had gripped them just a few moments ago. Her skin shivered from the ice cold shards of reason that clamped over the treacherous heat that Jake had fed with his love-making. Except it wasn’t love. It was sex without any risk of real commitment.
‘What’s wrong?’ he asked, her move having distracted him from his search.
‘We are,’ she said flatly.
He frowned, not understanding.
‘You don’t want children, do you, Jake?’ she stated rather than queried.
‘I didn’t say that, Merlina,’ he swiftly retorted. ‘I just said it was too soon. Better we get married first, then think about it.’
‘How long will you take to think about it?’ she mocked. ‘A year? Two years? Five? Ten? Until I’m too old to have the family I want?’
‘It’s only sensible to plan a family,’ he argued. ‘Not start it with an accidental pregnancy.’
‘I’m thirty years old, Jake. Statistically, I’m on the downhill run for giving birth to healthy babies. The later I leave it, the greater the risk of having a child with some handicap.’
‘But women are having babies in their forties these days,’ he protested as though she was being unreasonable.
‘Women who are desperate to have a child before it’s too late, and more often than not by working through some program to conceive,’ she threw back at him. ‘I don’t want to be in that position.’