“Amore, it is enough. The memories are making you too upset.” He was shaking now as well, and moved them both to the sofa to sit down. His arm tightened around her as if he could protect her from the pain of her former life.
“No, I have to finish. I want you to know it all, to know all my horrible past. Then if you want to end the marriage, I will go quietly back to England. It’s probably too late to get an annulment. I should have told you before we married that my brother was a murderer.”
“I want to know only so I can understand you better. Your family, your history, makes no difference to me.” At least now he understood her desire to leave England and never look back.
Sophia’s tears ran down her cheeks and fell onto her clenched fist. She stared at the wetness on her hand, as if unsure of where it came from. “It took eighty stitches to close up the wounds and I couldn’t sit for a long time. You’ve seen the scars. In the hospital I met Olivia. I won’t tell you her story; that’s her business. Needless to say, she’d been through worse. She was a little younger than me, she’d only just turned fifteen.
“We decided to run away. We lived on the streets for a few months, sleeping in turns so one of us could keep an eye out for danger. There was no time to look back, no time for dreams and what ifs. Our only thoughts were for survival. We stole food—fruit from the market and stuff like that.”
“What about your parents? Surely they must have looked for you?” He was shocked. Never had he thought his quiet, serene wife fought for survival on the street.
“My parents made an effort to find me. But I sent them a letter saying I needed a new start. Dad was looking after Sarah and James now, so they didn’t need me. I couldn’t go back. I didn’t want to be the parent and end up like Ben or Paul. I was selfish. I just wanted to be responsible for me. Those girls in school had killed the old Sophia, as much as my brother had killed that boy.”
“What about Olivia’s family? Couldn’t you have gone to them?”
“Olivia’s mother never even reported her missing. I was all Olivia had, and sometimes that is what kept me going—knowing that without me she would be all alone. Olivia and I were inseparable, since the day we met in the hospital we’ve been each other’s family.”
“Dio mio.”
“Finally, after one too-close call, we sought refuge at a youth shelter. They took us in without questions, offered us counseling. They helped us finish our education and get jobs. I don’t even want to think what would have become of us if we hadn’t gone there. After I got work and a place to live, I tried to help out by volunteering when I had any free time.”
“What about Sarah and James?” He was still finding it hard to believe his wife’s resilience, although he should have known from the way she’d adapted so quickly to life in a foreign country. She said she’d been afraid to lose control, and now he knew why. Because there had been no one to protect her in the past. His arms tightened around her.
“I checked in on them, mostly from a distance for the first couple of years. I didn’t want to go home and give my dad an excuse to exit out of their lives again. Sarah has a lot of issues. She’d sleep with any boy who showed interest in her and was pregnant by the time she was sixteen. Her second baby was born when she was eighteen. Men are in and out of her life, most of them losers. She just had her third baby and that father has already left.
“James finished school last year. He’s doing okay. I want him to have a trade, something that would ensure he could always get work. So I’m helping him pay for college. He’s going to be an electrician and still lives at home. Mum is pretty sick at the moment, so he does most of the cooking and cleaning.
“I have great hopes for James. Although I still picture him as the curly haired, blue eyed cherub and have trouble seeing him as the six-foot man he is today. I keep in touch with him. I’m hoping maybe he can come out here for a couple of weeks, if Mum’s well enough. Once I break the news to him of our marriage, that is.”
“When do you think that will be?” He’d been curious why she hadn’t told her family about their marriage. Now he understood all too well. And it wasn’t good news for their relationship. She’d been independent and strong for so long that getting her to let him in would take time.
“Probably sooner rather than later. James is finishing up his courses right now and about to start his apprenticeship. But I know he wants to have a little break before he starts work full-time. I thought I’d tell him when he got his results, and then invite him to come over, if that’s okay with you.”
“Absolutely. I would love to meet him, and any others in your family you want to invite. Maybe Sarah and her children could use a holiday.” He said this genuinely. Although Sophia didn’t currently want to spend much time with her family, other than James, that might change as their own children arrived.
“Maybe. I’m not sure if your quiet little household here is ready for Sarah and her brood.” Sophia let out a deep breath, her shoulders higher as if the secret of her family had weighed heavily on her.
“Amore, you are amazing. Thank you for trusting me with your story.”
Now he knew why she’d married him. But it wasn’t enough. He needed her to need him. To want to be with him for more than his money. He had to figure out how he could get her to rebuild her life around him and not grant him access only on occasion. He wanted her to stop pretending and be real.
Because one thing had become clear over the past month. Their marriage was becoming more than a business arrangement to him. The little voice in his head chimed in with a chorus of “I told you so.” Yet it offered no advice on how he could make an independent woman need him.
Maybe it was time for another plan.
Chapter 12
“Sophia, is there something you want to tell me?”
She closed the book she’d been reading and put it down on the table next to the chaise, trying to buy some time before answering. She’d been so careful over the last couple of weeks not to show how much she was coming to care for her husband, or how much she wanted him to need her in return. Could he have guessed? Sometimes she surprised herself at her acting ability. She must have inherited it from her mother.
She searched Luca’s face, trying to discern the reason for his question. His eyes were impassive, not showing the warmth or desire she was used to seeing in them recently. He held a paper in his hand.