She took a moment to study her parents, relieved to find that, despite the turbulent past, she was able to look at them without animosity. Luca’s support and the new life she had in Italy made this possible.
Walking over to the bed, she took her mother’s other hand. Janice opened her eyes and Sophia could see the dark shadows, and the pain she couldn’t hide. It took a moment for her mother to focus and recognize her daughter.
“Sophia! Is that really you? You look so different, so beautiful. Thank you for coming.” Her voice was barely a whisper but it woke her father, who stared at her.
“Of course I came. You are my mother.” Her voice cracked at seeing her mother so frail. What she wouldn’t give to have Luca’s arms around her right now.
“James said you’re living in Italy now, that you have a good job there,” her dad put in. She’d begged James not to mention her marriage; it was something she had to tell her parents herself. Thankfully her brother had lived up to his promise.
“Yes, I live in a lovely house near Milan with a beautiful garden. When you’re better, Mum, you’ll have to come over. Sitting in the garden with the warm sun on your face will do you a world of good.” She tried to keep a positive tone, despite having to speak past a lump in her throat.
Her mother just smiled and her father looked out the window at the grey skies. A few drops of rain slid down the glass like tears.
“Where is James? I expected him to be here.” She looked around the small room, a few cards from friends on the bedside table, and some dying blooms on the window ledge the only decoration in the sterile environment. Repressing a shudder at the coldness of the room, she reinforced her smile for her parents’ sake.
“He went to get some breakfast. He should be back shortly. Sarah will probably be here in an hour or so. She has to wait for a babysitter.” Her father’s voice was raspy as if he was trying to hold back tears.
Before the silence became unbearable, James entered the room and swept her into a big hug, lifting her completely off the floor. After he put her down, she scrutinized her brother. Even though it was only six months since she’d last seen him, he seemed to have changed from boy to man in that time. He was as tall as Luca but fair where her husband was dark. Her parents were frail and weak. James was strong and vibrant.
“Sophia, you look fabulous. I could almost say you’re glowing.” He held her at arm’s length, studying her carefully.
“It’s the Italian sunshine. I spend a lot of time outside in the garden. I passed my interior design course so I’m doing that now.” James looked like he was about to question the real reason for his sister’s transformation, but after her warning glare, he shrugged.
“Well, whatever it is, it suits you. How are you feeling today, Mum?” He shifted the attention back to Janice.
“Not bad. The nurse gave me some more morphine about an hour ago. Come sit next to me, Sophia, and tell me all about Italy.” She sat on the bed and held her mother’s hand, pleased to find her grip was still strong. She talked about her life in Italy, playing up the interior design work she was doing, avoiding any mention of her marriage. It was hard not to talk about Luca, the center of her world. But she could tell that surprising her mother with that news would be too much for her to bear.
Sarah arrived an hour or so later. Although they shared the same coloring and physique, Sarah always had a look of vulnerability that clearly distinguished the two sisters. Sarah twirled a lock of her hair, like she used to do as a child, even though she was a mother herself. The family talked about everything and nothing, pretending it was a normal reunion and that one of them wasn’t fading away before their eyes.
“I think Mum needs some rest now.” She noticed her mother’s grip had significantly weakened. She was exhausted as well, not having slept the night before.
“James, will you stay with your mum while I take Sophia to the flat? Sarah probably has to get back to the children now, too.” Her father stood up, unfolding his tall frame with effort. Sophia was shocked at how old he appeared.
“Sleep well, Mum. I’ll be back to see you in a few hours.” She kissed her mother on the cheek. Her heart tugged as she couldn’t remember the last time she’d done that.
They collected Olivia from the waiting room before heading back to the flat. Sarah went off to her own home to look after her children. Standing in front of the building she had grown up in, Sophia suppressed a shudder. She wished Luca was there with her to dispel the bad memories—to put his arms around her and give her strength. Right now it didn’t matter whether he loved her or not. She needed him, unconditionally.
“Dad, why don’t you go up? I’m going to show Olivia where the station is.” She really wanted to phone Luca but didn’t think now was the time to tell her father about him. Charlie looked like he was about to collapse under the weight of his grief, and she waited till he entered the building before walking with Olivia around the corner.
“I’ll come by the hospital tomorrow after work,” Olivia said, hugging her. “Unless you call me first. Are you sure you want to stay here? You can sleep at my place.”
“I’d better stay here. My dad needs me. James is going to do the overnight shift at the hospital tonight so Dad will be all alone. I’m going to call Luca and then I’ll go in. See you tomorrow. Oh, and Olivia, you are the best.” Sophia knew she didn’t need to say anything else.
“I’m only a phone call away.” They hugged again and then Olivia strode off in the direction of the station.
Sophia phoned Luca, closing her eyes as he answered, so his deep voice could envelope her. “I’ll call you as soon as … well, I’ll call you if the situation changes. Otherwise I’ll speak with you again tomorrow evening,” she finished off. She wanted to end the call saying “I love you,” but it wouldn’t be right to say it for the first time over the phone.
If there was one thing seeing her mother dying had taught her, it was that life was too short not to tell the important people in your life how you felt. Even if it was something they thought they didn’t want. As soon as she got back to Italy, she was going to tell Luca she loved him.
She pulled and then pushed the front door of the building rather than buzz up to the flat. Seven years and the council still hadn’t fixed the major flaw in the security. With each step she recited the name of a flower in Italian, trying to hold back the memories. The flat door was unlocked, and she closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she stepped across the threshold. She hadn’t been inside since the morning she’d left for school and never came home.