“I can’t let you kill me.”
“I’m not going to kill you. Fuck, Zel. I need you to push me again. I won’t get better if you don’t push me like you did at Obsidian.”
I shook my head. “I have to think of someone else. It’s not just my life I’ll be risking to save yours.”
He reared upright, glaring deep into my eyes. “Spit it out. What the hell are you keeping from me now?” A terrible glint filled his eye. “So help me, Hazel, tell me. I won’t survive you keeping secrets from me again.”
I sucked in a deep breath, fortifying myself against his wrath. “I’m pregnant.”
The world stood still for a fraction of a second. His face froze, eyes dazed. Then life jolted back into him and he blinked. “What did you just say?”
I swallowed, hating the rush of sadness at celebrating a new life when I’d only just said goodbye to a girl who would always hold my heart. “I’m having your child.”
I wasn’t prepared for the switch in him. The savage hunger that exploded, infecting me just as brutally. “Fuck. Hazel.” His mouth crashed against mine, his tongue sweeping deep. I had no clue what was going on in his head.
His hands left my h*ps to capture my face, holding me captive as he kissed me like a man starved of air. As quickly as he kissed me, he pulled away. “What? How?” His eyes darted all over me, disbelief in their depths.
My head swam. My body sparked and hummed. “I thought I couldn’t conceive. I was wrong.”
“But—oh, my God. I’m going to be a father?” Love glowed brighter than any sun, then shadowed with fear. “Fuck. I’m not—I can’t be around something so breakable.” He sucked in a breath. “I—I don’t know what to say.”
I wasn’t scared that he’d reject the idea of his offspring, or that he’d send me away. Confidence ran in my blood. “You made so much progress already. You have nine months to finish curing yourself before he arrives.”
He swallowed hard. “He?” His eyes shot to my belly. “You already know what it is?”
Every part of me wanted to hug him. He looked lost. Terrified. Almost angry at me for putting him in this dangerous situation.
I shook my head. “No. But I know. It’s a boy. Your son. And you won’t hurt him. I won’t let you.”
His h*ps moved, withdrawing the small amount of connection we shared. “But—I managed to withstand Clara because she was so brave—so strong. But a newborn?” He panicked, eyes widening. “I can’t. I don’t want to be responsible for kill—” He stopped and gritted his teeth. “No. I’ll look after you till you have it, then I’ll keep my distance. It’s the only way.”
Anger.
Hot, swift anger. I’d forgotten what it felt like, buried beneath so much grief. I welcomed it and did something I probably shouldn’t.
Grabbing the back of his neck, I yanked him down. His biceps strained, trying to hold himself up. My legs shot upright and wrapped around his hips, finding his hardness again and pushing myself onto him.
He froze, tension echoing in his joints. “Stop, Hazel. Fuck—”
“No. I won’t stop. And I’ll tell you why. You are going to be part of this new life. You are going to heal and you’re going to get better. If I have to show you you can do this, then so be it.” My hands dropped from his neck to his hips, pulling him into me. He wrenched back, fighting the need between us.
He fought, looking positively wild, but then all the fight siphoned out of him and he collapsed on top. His breathing rattled in his lungs and his eyes screwed up tight. “It’s too hard. I can’t ignore the conditioning.”
“Yes, you can. And you will.”
I needed him to take me. The thirst ached in my teeth, my bones. I needed to solidify our connection once and for all.
We needed to bruise and ride and claim. This wasn’t about sweetness and building trust—it was deeper than that. Something that joined us more holy than marriage or a lifetime of togetherness.
“Take me, Roan. I trust you.”
He moaned loud and long. “I can’t—I don’t want to hurt you. This was a mistake.” His body imprisoned me, creating a blanket of lust-filled male.
“Yes, you can.” My hands landed on his ass.
He shuddered in my hold—his teeth grinding loudly. “Stop.”
“No.” I sank nails deep into his flesh and pulled him possessively into me. It was the first time I’d taken him. The first time I’d taken everything he offered and more.
His length sank in deep and wide, bringing heat and waves of desire. Every stretch was delicious. Perfect.
His self-control snapped and he threw his head back. “Oh my God. Goddammit, you feel—” He didn’t finish as he thrust in deeper—eternally deep. I couldn’t keep my eyes open—overwhelmed by the scrumptious fullness, the complete knowledge he was mine and I was his.
“See. You can. You have more control than you know.” Wrapping my legs tighter around his hips, I imprisoned him. “I trust you to love me. To not hurt me. Give me everything you have to give, Roan Averin.”
Every muscle stood out in stark relief, vibrating with pent-up aggression and only orders he could hear. He shuddered uncontrollably.
Reaching for his neck, I grabbed two handfuls of hair and yanked his lips to mine. “You can do this. Fight through it,” I panted against his lips.
He shook his head, tugging the strands in my grip. “What if I hurt you? Shit, Zel, you’re pregnant. Am I even allowed to be inside you like this?” His nostrils flared and his h*ps tried to wiggle out of my locked legs.
“You’re not going anywhere.” Grabbing more of his hair, I forced him to kiss me. My tongue entered his mouth and a tremor quaked down his back.
Biting his lower lip, I murmured, “I’ll touch you if you take me. I’ll stroke you if you make me come. I’ll always be yours, Roan. Prove to me you can keep me safe.”
I deliberately drove him to breaking point. It was fascinating to feel the change in him. The haunted look swirled in his depths. The violence of his past swallowed him whole. But through the transformation from human to machine he pressed his forehead against mine and locked eyes. He locked himself to me. Soul to soul.
Gone was the fight to protect me. His c**k pressed deeper and his body smothered harder. He thrust once, gritting his teeth. “I can’t be slow. Don’t ask me to be slow.”